AIBU or is this baby?

[ShielaSaz]

There's this baby I know who has recently decided that every moment he is awake, it is appropriate to SHOUT. It doesn't matter where we are either (he seems to follow me everywhere), at home, in the shops, during my routine eye test the other day (the only time he actually stopped was to take a giant dump much to the amusement of the optician who was trying to remain professional).

When it first started, I thought something may be up so being a good mum person, checked on him. But no, there is no crying, no frustration, this kid thinks it's hilarious.

I've politely asked him to stop but it's made no difference and I'm sure I saw a little middle finger go up at one point although I may have hallucinated that part.

My husband is at work during the day so is only subjected to this for a few hours in the evening. He thinks it's funny and actually encourages it, shouting back! LTB?

Anyway, what should I do about this my shouting baby? I should at least log it with 101 right? Will my MP be interested?

Throw him out with the bathwater.

YABU to not post a diagram. Give your head a wobble.

Was this shrieking animal part of the house before purchase and not declared during sale, or was it acquired during your time there? If the former, seek advice, it's got Japanese knotweed vibes, it will devalue the property and be a financial burden long-term.

If the latter??? I dunno... eBay?

Good luck, OP. Sounds super toxic!

Longtime lurker here, but just couldn’t read and run. Offering you a handhold at this stressful time.
The only advice I can offer is to send the baby to some form of boot camp as it’s obviously out of control and needs an intervention. Good luck and I hope you get the support you desperately need.

Does he at least pay rent? If not you need to be setting some boundaries. Don't be a mug. If he does, YABU. It's his space too.

Its not your fault OP clearly this baby is taking everything for granted is spoilt and needs to learn boundaries. Don't tell anyone it's just between is but my neighbours uncles grandads next door neighbours cat says it's all to do with the government and HRT is definitely the answer 😂😂. Incidentally I had 2 of said babies find and follow me around never found the reset button started calling me mum and everything which I find extremely rude and 20 plus yrs on at times they are still broken

@Shodan

A & E NOW!!

Don't be ridiculous. No wonder the NHS is on its knees.

@Lucywithout

I raised 3 kids in the 1960s. We had a method which involved placing in pram and strapping in. Leave at the far end of the garden to "come on" like the runner beans. They survived!

Oh yes, I remember those days too.

Another one was to leave the baby in its pram outside while browsing the shops.
Just remember to pop a cat net over the pram hood so cats don't sit on baby's face.

Have you tried a vet?

Sympathy OP, I have had similar issues in the past. Don't whatever you do try what I did and try and pair it with a v2 smaller model though. My v2 smaller model was even more complicated and loud than my original one.

Sounds like a cocklodger to me and a real Mummy's boy - get rid . Enjoy life on your terms !

Incidentally I had 2 of said babies find and follow me around never found the reset button started calling me mum and everything which I find extremely rude

These things have the audacity to start calling you Mum after everything they've put you through?! Good God.

babies are the worst! ( and the best)

Offering a handhold at your difficult time OP.

Mention of blowing raspberries has triggered some sort of PTSD. Mine did it endlessly last year. A pandemic just isn't a great time to spray saliva everywhere in public.

Have you considered getting a priest round to bless it? Sometimes that helps, even if you don’t believe in the paranormal. Or there could be bats in its attic?

Shriek louder and throw in an ugly cry to assert your dominance as the bigger baby

sarcasm warning

I cannot believe you are talking about a child like that! How dare you! YABVVVVVU! Such a precious little thing, you don't deserve to be a mother.

(P.S. I have a screamer. Maybe we could send them to a little island together somewhere to start a noisy colony where no-one can hear them?)

You should know that babies are sold as seen.

Whatever you do don't get a cat too. They will own you and your soul.

@ShielaSaz

Incidentally I had 2 of said babies find and follow me around never found the reset button started calling me mum and everything which I find extremely rude

These things have the audacity to start calling you Mum after everything they've put you through?! Good God.

I know I mean bloody rude no manners these days babies I mean mum? Mum if u please don't they know how to address people correctly and cf even taken up rooms in my house eat my food and dare to call me embarrassing and unreasonable.. I don't know who I need to speak to about this situation but I feel someone will be getting a,strongly worded email

Dunk it in your penis beaker.

Put the baby in a car and park it across your drive then draw a diagram. I promise it will help.

I think that you actually only have a 50% share in this baby. The guy who has joint ownership should be given 24 hours custody of aforementioned howler. I firmly believe that after that period the co- owner will be making such a row that you won't notice the constant whimpers of the child. HTH

As gently as possible, a reminder that every single solicitor in the country offers a free 30 minute consultation should you wish to find out the legal position.

And if the baby gets any post from its own solicitor it is ILLEGAL to open it.

So think on.

We paid £20k for our screaming babies (yes two of them at once), DH regularly asks if we're eligible for a refund

Could you part exchange the baby for a different one

or peg him out at night for the spider willies to get him