To feel like looking 'average' these days is bloody hard work?

[JustGiveMeGin]

Disclaimer: I had a similar thread in style and beauty when I wasn't feeling my best. I have definitely made peace with how I look and this is NOT a woe is me thread 🤣
To even look average I have to dye the greys out of my hair, have my eyelashes and eyebrows tinted (did I mention greys?) Remove hair from underarms, legs, bikini area. Spray tan couple of times a week, moisturise after every shower (daily). Wash, conditon and blow dry hair daily. Anti wrinkle face cream twice daily after cleansing. That's just the basics....I can and do go out without makeup bit I feel better with: cc cream, face powder, bronzer, blusher, eyebrow pencil, mascara and lipstick.
To me I feel like I should look like a fucking goddess after all that effort but sadly I still sit in the firmly average camp!
Does anyone get what I mean or have I finally gone off my rocker for good?

I'm with you op. I sometimes catch myself in a mirror or shop window and think, who the hell is that middle aged (cough, I'm 48) boring looking woman staring at, and then realise it's me!

It sounds like your idea of average is very different to my idea of average. Are you putting an undue amount of pressure on yourself to achieve an image that's far removed from what most women do?

Spray tan couple of times a week

Why do you do this? It's not necessary. The rest is fine, and I agree, it's hard work

@mustlovegin (great username!) I am beyond pale...I make a ghost look healthy unless I have the tan on
In summer I feel more confident in skirts and shorts with a bit of colour so it must be done!
I don't think I put undue pressure on myself, when I look around at women roughly the same age as me I'm certainly only just 'keeping up' standards wise.
Like I say, I should be a goddess but it's just not flipping happening

Who sees your bikini line in normal everyday life?

I don't do ANY of that shit and I feel fine about myself.

I'm nothing special but I don't think any of that stuff makes a person look younger. I look much better after growing out the grey because I don't have the very ageing stripe after two weeks.

You need to work on your self esteem not your beauty routine.

I completely agree op. When you see films of normal people pre-90s they look older! It’s our culture of youth.

Im not sure OP was trying to look younger....

She was trying to improve her appearance .. feel more attractive within herself... age hasn't been mentioned.. 🌸

@QueenBee52

Im not sure OP was trying to look younger....

She was trying to improve her appearance .. feel more attractive within herself... age hasn't been mentioned.. 🌸

Fair point, I just made an assumption based on the dyeing grey hair bit.

For my average look, I walk my hair every other day and normally straighten or curl it about 1 in 4 times. Tint and pluck my eyebrows every 8 days, west make up each day, concealer on one cheek m, mascara, lots of blusher, or ore make up if going out. File nails once a week, shave under arms and half leg most days when I’m in the bath, moisture legs each day. I dye my roots at home every few weeks which takes about 20 minutes. I think that’s about it.

Wash my hair , not walk!!!

Well I do none of those things. I shower and brush my teeth and I brush my hair. That's it.
How fucking awful must I look?!
I have a whole face covered in freckles so make up looks stupid on me. I used to wear mascara but I've given up on that now too.
I dread to think what people must think of me!

Nobody notices whether you fake tan or not. Nobody. Ever. I promise.

I understand OP. My hair is extremely untidy naturally and I'm very pale and blotchy.

I have to wash, blow dry and style my hair with straighteners which takes ages and then it only really looks like someone else's unstyled hair. After all that effort I feel I should look glam! If my hair looked like a large proportion of people's does naturally, I would happily just wash and leave it, or at least enjoy feeling very "done" after some effort

I don't tan much now but I used to weekly and it made so, so much difference to the way I felt and was received. It brought out my hair colour, eye colour, clothes looked better, everything.

The make up I put on every morning is just to even things up and look less old and tired (I'm in 30s) rather than anything special

@LolaSmiles

It sounds like your idea of average is very different to my idea of average. Are you putting an undue amount of pressure on yourself to achieve an image that's far removed from what most women do?

This

Thankfully I live in an area that does not go around doing all of that.
Basics yes, but not spray tan, eyebrows, eye something else..
And not many women do much make up either.
Yes to the hair stuff and hair removal.

So what would happen if you didn't do any of those things? Just washed to a hygienic standard? It's your own idea of beauty you're judging yourself against - I'm sure you look perfectly lovely without spending hours on all the things you list!

@Ellpellwood

Nobody notices whether you fake tan or not. Nobody. Ever. I promise.

I beg to differ. Not in the way you think though. I can spot that distinctive shade of mahogany a mile a way.

There was a beautiful lady I saw the other day and she looked absolutely amazing, expect for the fact that her legs were quite obviously painted orange. It looked ridiculous.

Haha, I don’t do any of this stuff. I shower, wash my hair, moisturise face. Defuzz my chin. I don’t even brush my hair beyond the parting (curly). Pale blonde and not much hair so any other hair removal is rare tbh. My DP doesn’t care. Body moisturizer never except bath oil from time to time.

Not using makeup, nail varnish or perfume currently as ttc, trying to minimise exposure to nasties.

@Ihavethesamedress Haha, yes, I meant novody ever looks at a woman and thinks she'd look so much better if she was orange-r.

I'm pale and don't spray tan
Shave legs and armpits maybe twice a week
Don't colour my hair, wash it 2-3 times a week
Use in shower moisturiser when skin feels dry but wash with shower oil
Paint toenails
Wear makeup if I'm leaving the house
Skincare routine is maybe 2 mins twice a day
Eyebrows shape/dermaplane as needed

I mean I don't look attractive but I would need a full face and body transplant for that! But tan etc/lashes wouldn't add much

Pale is so much better than spray tanned for pretty much everyone.

@Ellpellwood of course they might. I don't know about the OP's tan specifically, but I'd always get loads of compliments when I'd tanned. Maybe they were disingenuous and I was really a hideous shade of orange, but they certainly noticed! Actually it's quite a pale brown shade and hopefully people were being honest when they asked if I'd been away, but even if not I like it and I suppose that's the important thing

I've never had a spray tan last less than a week and I'm so pale naturally I make milk look tanned.

@PurpleDaisies

Pale is so much better than spray tanned for pretty much everyone.

Could well be. I know a number of pale people who think their appearance is improved with a spray tan. Only one of them looks better with it and some look worse.