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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For being annoyed at MIL for babies sun burn?

280 replies

HannahAD · 14/06/2021 10:59

Yesterday my MIL took my 21 month old out for the day and specifically asked for him to be wearing “beach appropriate clothes” we live in Scotland and it wasn’t sunny or warm at all when I was getting him ready so I put lightweight leggings and a T-shirt on him and popped a jacket under his pram incase it got any colder. I put sun cream on him and told her the cream was in his bag and would need to be reapplied later if he was getting out of his pram and she agreed. 3 hours later we get him back and he’s very sunburned. I asked about how it was possible when he had factor 50 on and she replied “I don’t believe in suncream as I’ve heard it can cause cancer, so I never put anymore on him ” my partner says I’m being unreasonable for being very annoyed as now my baby is sunburned, uncomfortable and I feel that is very irresponsible.

OP posts:
Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear · 14/06/2021 11:00

YANBU and she would not be having sole care of my DC again. My MIL is currently battling melanoma and it will likely kill her sometime in the next 10 years. It is not something to take casually.

romdowa · 14/06/2021 11:00

It would the last time I'd trust her with your child alone ever again . That's nothing but pure neglect!

Shoxfordian · 14/06/2021 11:01

Yanbu
Don’t let her look after him again.

Original poster
HannahAD · 14/06/2021 11:02

I definitely will not be letting her have him again. Sun care is very important and even if she doesn’t use suncream she should respect our choice to use it in our child

OP posts:
lotstolose1 · 14/06/2021 11:02

Suncream causes cancer? So does sunburn you daft bitch Confused YANBU - you specifically states he needs more suncream on. If it was a mistake/accident then okay but for her to openly say she just didn't want to put it on! Wouldn't be having my child for a long while.

InnaBun · 14/06/2021 11:03

She can't be trusted anymore. She pretended to a agree to use it then didn't. You need 100% trust and transparency if someone is looking after your child.

Throckmorton · 14/06/2021 11:03

No way would she be looking after him again. I notice she didn't say anything about not believing in suncream when you first mentioned it, ie when you could have refused to let her take him, so she's sneaky as well as irresponsible. I would also take your child to the GP if the sunburn is bad.

Original poster
HannahAD · 14/06/2021 11:05

I have phoned GP and will be taking him in after his nap!

OP posts:
Babynames2 · 14/06/2021 11:05

YANBU. She’s an absolute idiot. Sunburn causes cancer and now you have a child who is in pain. She wouldn’t be babysitting my child again.

my partner says I’m being unreasonable for being very annoyed

Your partner is also an idiot.

Bksjshsbbev2737 · 14/06/2021 11:05

I’d be absolutely fuming and she wouldn’t have him again; I also think she’s been very dishonest as you told her that more would be needed and if she wasn’t going to do it then she should have said it then and you could have decided if you were happy for him to go.

JediGnot · 14/06/2021 11:05

@Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear

YANBU and she would not be having sole care of my DC again. My MIL is currently battling melanoma and it will likely kill her sometime in the next 10 years. It is not something to take casually.
100%
catfunk · 14/06/2021 11:05

She's injured your child as far as I'm concerned. If she was a parent doing that regularly then social services would be informed.
I'd be absolutely lividl and wouldn't leave someone so gullible and stupid in charge of my child again.

moovinon · 14/06/2021 11:08

I would definitely be annoyed too.

It's fine for her to have her own opinion, but to totally ignore what you have asked her to do shows a complete lack of respect for you as a Mum. The fact she actually told you that she had gone against your wishes as well.

I wouldn't let her have him again and I think you should get your partner to explain why.

Sometimesfraught82 · 14/06/2021 11:10

Childhood skin burning makes you 5x more likely to get skin cancer in adult hood

I would be furious. I mean I would be absolutely furious

Sometimesfraught82 · 14/06/2021 11:10

And most of the MIL threads, I think... meh

MedusasBadHairDay · 14/06/2021 11:11

@Bksjshsbbev2737

I’d be absolutely fuming and she wouldn’t have him again; I also think she’s been very dishonest as you told her that more would be needed and if she wasn’t going to do it then she should have said it then and you could have decided if you were happy for him to go.
This. She deliberately went against you when it came to safeguarding your kids health. I'd be talking to your partner and checking he doesn't agree with her batshit ideas about suncream too.
00deed1988 · 14/06/2021 11:13

YANBU. If it was a genuine accident I may say let her have another chance if she promises to learn from it. My PIL let my youngest burn severely several years ago, then just didn't realise how often he needed cream as he is so fair like me but their children and other grandchildren never needed as much. Now they realise and it hasn't happened again. However she purposely didn't put it on because it causes cancer Hmm That is bizarre. No way would she be having them again, imagine ther other conspiracies that may come up too. Hope your little one starts to feel better soon. I would be annoyed with partner too. He needs to understand how dangerous sun damage can be and that unnecessary risk by not using the
cream!

Spied · 14/06/2021 11:14

I hope she enjoyed her time with him because it would be last time she was left unsupervised with him for a very, very long time.

yikesanotherbooboo · 14/06/2021 11:14

I would be really upset too but 3 hours doesn't sound like a long time to depend on one coat of cream. Mind you it sounds as if it was too sunny for a toddler to be out for any length of time.

NinaMimi · 14/06/2021 11:15

I’d be wondering about what other weird believes or conspiracy theories she has and how they will negatively impact the child. I wouldn’t let her look after the child again.

EL8888 · 14/06/2021 11:16

Being bunt but your MIL is ridiculous and so is your partner. No more unsupervised access to baby now, she can’t be trusted and doesn’t clearly doesn’t respect you

maras2 · 14/06/2021 11:16

I don't think that I could trust someone that thick to look after a small child.
Your partner needs to have a word with her.
Poor little boy, I hope he feels better soon. Bear

BarryTheKestrel · 14/06/2021 11:16

I'd be furious too.

I mean on occasion these things do happen and if she had reapplied and it had still happened despite her best efforts, fair enough, I'd be annoyed but she'd at least made efforts. The fact that she took no precautions and your child has been burnt, I'd be livid.

HavelockVetinari · 14/06/2021 11:17

YANBU, she sounds bonkers.

However - I'm amazed that the suncream you applied yourself didn't last for the full 3 hours. The stuff I use for DS is factor 50 and lasts up to 8 hours. I'd switch brands if I were you.

FelicityPike · 14/06/2021 11:18

She allowed your child to get burnt.
End of.
Burnt.
Last time she would have him.
Would she roast him with a kettle, or an iron? No. So why did she allow the sun to burn him?

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