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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For being annoyed at MIL for babies sun burn?

280 replies

HannahAD · 14/06/2021 10:59

Yesterday my MIL took my 21 month old out for the day and specifically asked for him to be wearing “beach appropriate clothes” we live in Scotland and it wasn’t sunny or warm at all when I was getting him ready so I put lightweight leggings and a T-shirt on him and popped a jacket under his pram incase it got any colder. I put sun cream on him and told her the cream was in his bag and would need to be reapplied later if he was getting out of his pram and she agreed. 3 hours later we get him back and he’s very sunburned. I asked about how it was possible when he had factor 50 on and she replied “I don’t believe in suncream as I’ve heard it can cause cancer, so I never put anymore on him ” my partner says I’m being unreasonable for being very annoyed as now my baby is sunburned, uncomfortable and I feel that is very irresponsible.

OP posts:
Original poster
HannahAD · 14/06/2021 11:18

My partner says I’m over protective because he was burnt a lot as a child. I definitely will not be letting him back out with her unless me or my partner is there.

OP posts:
DeathStare · 14/06/2021 11:19

YANBU

If she didnt want to apply dun cream she should have said that when you asked her to, then you could have decided whether she still took him or not. She knew you wouldn't let her and that's why she didn't say anything. That's manipulative

Seeline · 14/06/2021 11:19

I agree - Factor 50, and only away 3 hours. I don't think I would have reapplied cream within that period of time unless it was very hot and/or the child was very exposed. I'm not sure that he was 'very sunburned' in that scenario.

bigbluecup · 14/06/2021 11:19

BS. Even if she didn’t believe in suncream and deliberately went against your wishes as his parent, surely she would keep him undercover/in shade/OUT OF THE SUN. Who in their right mind would let an unprotected child be directly exposed?

She wouldn’t have my child again

Checkingout811 · 14/06/2021 11:19

I cannot believe the sun cream you put on him didn’t last 3 hours? Especially as he was wearing leggings and a tshirt and I’m assuming he had a hat? What was the cream you used? Is he incredibly fair?

Sometimesfraught82 · 14/06/2021 11:20

@HannahAD

My partner says I’m over protective because he was burnt a lot as a child. I definitely will not be letting him back out with her unless me or my partner is there.
In that case you have to be seriously on guard about leaving your baby with your partner too

What a mess

Seeline · 14/06/2021 11:20

I'd also get some uv sunsuits/rash tops for your DS

Original poster
HannahAD · 14/06/2021 11:21

Hed already had the sun cream on for a few hours before I gave him to her, sorry I forget to mention. He is incredibly fair as am I. He has very pale skin and almost white hair. For pictures I received from her I believe she must have removed his clothes which is another issue I have.

OP posts:
Sometimesfraught82 · 14/06/2021 11:22

The ignorance on this thread

The NHS and the British dermatology both strongly recommend that sunscreen is reapplied every 2 hours and immediately after swimming and towel drying

lolacola77 · 14/06/2021 11:22

I'd be utterly furious. What a thick, selfish woman. Sadly your husband doesn't sound much better. I hope your baby isn't in pain. I'd never let her 'look after' him again.

crosspelican · 14/06/2021 11:22

The sunblock/cancer thing is batshit, but if your baby was badly sunburned 3 hours after you applied factor 50, your suncream might have expired. Yes, it's only fully effective for 2 hours, but it doesn't "switch off" after 2 hours, it just gradually wears off.

I put sunblock on over half term that turned out to have expired and got a painful sunburn.

Sometimesfraught82 · 14/06/2021 11:22

And babies should be out of direct sun from 11-3

crosspelican · 14/06/2021 11:23

(I'm not disbelieving you - just saying that in ADDITION to her negligence, you might also check your sunblock.)

JustLyra · 14/06/2021 11:23

Tbh if I was taking a child to the beach and their parent said they had sun cream on then three hours isn’t that long.

That said her reason for not putting it on him shows she’s not to be trusted so she wouldn’t be having him again if it was me.
Sounds like your partner could be an issue as well if he doesn’t see burning as a problem.

stackemhigh · 14/06/2021 11:23

Sounds like she forgot and is trying to cover as presenting this as a rational choice Hmm

I was sunburnt very red by 11am yesterday (admittedly down south). I saw parents out in the market with a baby that had no hat on in 28 degree heat minimum. Had to bite my lip not to say anything.

CecilyP · 14/06/2021 11:24

Suncream causes cancer? So does sunburn you daft bitch

This is what makes you not remotely unreasonable. If she just forgot or didn’t think it was sunny enough, I would let it go. But the deliberate disregard for what you asked, especially as you now have to deal with the consequences, is unforgivable.

stackemhigh · 14/06/2021 11:24

@JustLyra

Tbh if I was taking a child to the beach and their parent said they had sun cream on then three hours isn’t that long.

That said her reason for not putting it on him shows she’s not to be trusted so she wouldn’t be having him again if it was me.
Sounds like your partner could be an issue as well if he doesn’t see burning as a problem.

MIL had very specific instruction to apply suncream if she took him out of the pram which she agreed to do but did not do.
MzHz · 14/06/2021 11:25

So many people over react when it comes to MIL and babies, but this is AWFUL!

She knowingly didn’t bother to apply sunscreen and pretty much watched him burn

By all means take him to the GP, just to be sure, but make sure you tell her that what she did was cruel and neglectful and she won’t be having the baby again and you won’t be entertaining her for the foreseeable future

Viviennemary · 14/06/2021 11:26

You are right go be furious. What an idiot. Don't let her take the baby out again. She is incapable of making sensible choices.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 14/06/2021 11:26

Of course your husband was burnt a lot as a child, his mother is a moron.
I’d go berserk and she wouldn’t watch him again!

Original poster
HannahAD · 14/06/2021 11:30

I bought the suncream the other day but I will definitely give it a check! I don’t think it would have been so bad if she had kept his clothes on. We don’t really take him out in the sun when it’s very hot as I know babies do over heat very easily or we keep him in his pram with parasol covering him.

OP posts:
RightOnTheEdge · 14/06/2021 11:31

YANBU!
I would be very wary about him being out with your mil and/or parter alone as he is obviously as thick as her.

She was very sneaky to agree to put suncream on him before she took him and then tell you after he got burnt about her batshit theories.

youngandbroken · 14/06/2021 11:32

I am a redhead and so are my children, if we don't put factor 50 on every hour we will burn (and I have been known to burn through factor 50 with certain brands too). My parents both tan quite well and so I burnt alot as a child, when I was 22 I had a cancer scare that might have been melanoma (thankfully wasn't). My MIL thinks I am ridiculously over protective over my children and suncream but there is no way on earth I would allow her to have my children again if she allowed this. And frankly I would be dubious about my partner if he shared those beliefs.

Checkingout811 · 14/06/2021 11:32

Poor baby. You are absolutely right not to leave him with her again. I’ve just seen she took his clothes off too. Completely unacceptable. I hope he’s okay and you are too.

WhenPushComesToShove · 14/06/2021 11:33

Any grandparent (or anyone else for that matter) not respecting the safety of the child in their care and allowing skin damage and pain by way of overexposure to the sun is darn right irresponsible and not to be trusted with future care of said child