Busy, busy, busy!

[Darkdecent]

People who don't work, haven't worked for years, have one child in full time school.
She's always busy, busy, super busy today!
How busy can you be?

Why do they say this? I know people who are genuinely busy but never mention it.

Is it some sort of insecurity that they feel they should be doing more?

A little bit jealous OP?

I think they do believe they are busy actually. People just settle in to their regular pace and that becomes busy to them although it would be extremely sedentary to us.

It’s the busy busy competition!! I’ve had this, one lady always harping on about how busy she is......when she asked about my day I refused to enter the competition and told her I’d had a lovely day doing nothing. She was a bit lost for words....

Because how busy people see themselves as depends upon what they usually do e.g. for an elderly person, having a letter to post that day can mean they feel they are really busy, whereas a single parent who works FT may not even notice that same task in their schedule.

How do you know she isn’t actually busy or feel like she is? I know plenty of people who are busy who talk about it.

Does it really matter?

@HappyHappyHippocampus

A little bit jealous OP?

Of what? I actually like working and can't imagine doing nothing all day.

Is she involved with any voluntary work? That can take up quite a large amount of work.

Also some people do more housework than others. Just have to read on MN about competitive towel and bedding washing!

Lotsa I agree: Just don't engage.

Why are you so bothered then OP?

My parents are retired and they seem very busy. I agree with pp that the things you need to do expand to fill the time you have!

Is "working" the only form of being busy? Couldn't someone be busy at home cleaning, mending clothes, washing dishes, answering chat messages, surfing the net, ironing, food-shopping and meal prepping, etc? Aren't those "work" too?

@ineedaholidaynow

Is she involved with any voluntary work? That can take up quite a large amount of work.

Also some people do more housework than others. Just have to read on MN about competitive towel and bedding washing!

Nope.

But how do you know what's she's doing all day? Have you got CCTV in her house and a tracking device on her? Even if she's not as busy as some other people, she might feel busy.

People can fill their time with stuff other than work or childcare (although presumably despite 'full time school' this parent has their child in the morning, after 3pm, weekends and holidays) and be busy with different things from others.

People are different and have different ideas of what it is to be busy. I work full time, long hours, high pressure job, commute to London, two kids (one with neurodiversity/learning difficulties), in the middle of managing house renovation, no cleaner ... but I don't feel particularly busy or stressed. I like to feel challenged and occupied.

One of my best friends from school works part time (afternoons only) as a TA, 5 mins walk from her house, one child age 12. She keeps her mornings free to do her hobby (craft related). She is always saying how stressed, tired and busy she feels and I really believe she does.

We are just different!

She might be busy ironing her underware..🤷‍♀️. People fill their time differently

Why are you so bothered then OP?

Lol, you honestly sound more bothered than she does.

Give her a break OP! What’s it to you?

It’s the same at my workplace, certain people spend all day talking about how busy they are and not getting much work done. I feel if someone has time to talk about how busy they are then they are obviously not that busy!

YANBU! SIL is similar. Stays at home with the kids, no voluntary work or anything, but was astounded that I mentioned that I'd seen x interesting programme on TV, because she's so busy!
I did feel a bit lazy at first that I can fit TV into the evening after my kids are in bed, but now I feel sorry that she can't make downtime for herself.
I don't see being constantly busy as some kind of virtue. I also agree with @Lotsachocolateplease about the busy busy competition. You're not failing if you're not constantly busy 🤷

Hmm, she sounds boring going on about being busy, busy, busy but I know I’ve been extremely busy at some points of my life where I’ve not worked. I didn’t complain about it though.

I think you sound a bit mean saying that if you didn’t work you wouldn’t like to be doing ‘nothing’ all day. It’s sounds like you are dismissive of people who don’t work. Maybe she knows you think she is doing nothing so is hamming up her being busy in defence.

Housework
Volunteering
Gardening
Keeping fit
Getting beauty treatments
Looking after animals
Visiting friends and family
Befriending drug addicts
Washing the feet of tramps
Piously bringing the word of the Lord to the Godforsaken

Who knows? Who cares?

Be and take the piss.

Activities expand to fit the time available don't they? So it's possible to feel busy even if you aren't really doing much. I can feel busy on a day off doing stuff is normally fit in easily to a full working day.

I never spouted on about it as it was very much a choice but I was often really, really busy when I didn’t work. I used to play sports everyday for example. I loved being busy. It’s just how I enjoy life. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Not really any of your business is op? Could she be making an excuse not to see you?