Busy, busy, busy!

[Darkdecent]

People who don't work, haven't worked for years, have one child in full time school.
She's always busy, busy, super busy today!
How busy can you be?

Why do they say this? I know people who are genuinely busy but never mention it.

Is it some sort of insecurity that they feel they should be doing more?

That ^ was aimed at @Stolengoat

@HappyHappyHippocampus

Why are you so bothered then OP?

@sst1234

Probably the same reason that bothered you enough to type this question.

What a pathetic and ridiculous response to happyhappyhippocampus's valid question. It doesn't even make sense. Is that the best response you could come up with?

@PP2021

I’m a “busy” person. It’s a social convention to say I’m wealthy enough not to work at the moment without being an absolute arsehole about it. I also wonder if I’m on the spectrum so have had to study how these things work in detail, so I’m not trying to be a bitch.

Lots of people I hardly know seem to want lots of detail about how I spend my time. I find them very slow on the uptake with loads of things (even down to the school newsletter, basic comprehension etc) but I don’t work in a paid job so they find me an anomaly in day to day life.

“Busy” allows you to be you and me to be me.

Who are all these people who want to know every detail of how you spend your time? Why does anyone need to know? It's got sod-all to do with anyone. I'd tell them to go and get a life, and stay out of mine.

Some people are such nosey fuckers honestly. A woman I know in my road, is in her mid 50s and doesn't work anymore. She retired at 50. Her husband is a manager of a modest sized company in town.

Another woman in my road, (who is the same age,) has got SUCH a bee in her bonnet about this woman having no job and not having to work, and says 'how she can POSSIBLY be retired at 50?,' and 'where does she get her money from? It can't be her pension!'

And she keeps asking her 'will you not ever work again then?' and 'how is it possible to finish work at 50, and manage to pay your bills and stuff? What's your secret?' The woman just smiles and says 'that would be telling!'

I say good for her, and I don't give a shit how she retired at 50, but the neighbour who has a bee in her bonnet is SO jealous and angry and bitter that this woman has the freedom of not having to work anymore. Sounds a bit like the OP, and a few other posters on this thread.

[quote littlepattilou]@HappyHappyHippocampus

Why are you so bothered then OP?

@sst1234

Probably the same reason that bothered you enough to type this question.

What a pathetic and ridiculous response to happyhappyhippocampus's valid question. It doesn't even make sense. Is that the best response you could come up with? [/quote]
But why are you so bothered - seriously? Perhaps the irony is lost on you. Oh, we’ll.

I always say I'm busy when I don't particularly want to talk to someone for very long.....never occurred to me that they'd then spend their time mentally dissecting what I actually do with my time?

Runnerduck34

That is the point I am trying to make. I know people at home who don't have young children are busy doing housework etc. However if they don't feel well, they can sit down for a little while and rest. They won't have to take breaks and eat at certain times unlike a person at work. Also, they won't have managers asking them to have a certain amount of gardening done by a certain day. At work if people are doing a project, they have to provide updates on tasks and ensure certain pieces of work are done on certain dates.

Having been at home on mat leave, I can see that working in a paid role (where you need to earn X money and could get fired) is a different more stressful type of busy. When I was at home I was up at night with babies, but I would never have the cheek to tell a fulltime nurse that 'I am busy'.

I have 'friends/relatives' like you who think I do naff all all day. What they fail to realise is, I am not going to explain what I actually do because I shouldn't have to. They don't bother asking questions to find out what I've been up to and just talk about themselves. They seem to think that because I don't join them at the pub or go on walks with them that I am just sitting on my arse watching TV. I find them rather narcissistic.

I work 12.5 - 14 hours at a time and don’t sit down, eat or wee.

Still felt busier caring for a terminally ill relative for years. That was truly relentless.

I didn't realise it would be considered cheeky to refer to yourself as busy.
Maybe people are boasting or attempting one upwomanship. But I'd assume not unless it was obvious. Just saying they were busy would signal to me that for whatever reason they don't have all the time in the world to chat at that moment. If they never have time to chat / get together if
old friends I would stop engaging.

Busy means different things for different people, for me a busy day is when I've been and done a food shop and/or been to town to pick up some things, or we've been to an appointment along with usual daily chores, cooking dinner and school runs as that knocks the hell out of me on its own due to health issues, I do work from home though but even if I didn't would feel like a busy day to me. Although tbh people do tend to think I sit on my butt all day and do nothing if they find out I work from home. It's all different from person to person. And does it matter anyway, wouldn't waste my time on it tbh. Go enjoy the beautiful weather whilst we have it if you can ;)

@user1471554720 if struggling getting everything done google the organised mum method, team toom, it works well, started last year whilst I was ill and really struggling and it's so much easier keep on top of everything now. Doesnt take 8 hours a day either, 45 minutes max and can split it up so works for you. Hope that helps :)

What a weird thread. Full of people who claim they are so busy, yet have clearly found time to read a fairly pointless thread on the internet about random strangers

Different people like different paced lives. All are equally valid. Sometimes it’s age related, sometimes not.
Find a level of busy which suits you and keep your opinions about other peoples choices to yourself.

@MissTrip82

I work 12.5 - 14 hours at a time and don’t sit down, eat or wee.

Still felt busier caring for a terminally ill relative for years. That was truly relentless.

That’s very bad for your health ☹️ Why are you such a martyr at the expense of your physical well-being? Very odd

Some very severe cases of martyrdom on this thread, utterly bonkers 🙄

wildchild554

I do 8 hours a day at work already. I do all housework quickly and fit into eves and weekends. Cutting out socialising helps enormously

wildchild554

Thank you for the recommendation, I am in a routine these times as dcs are getting bigger. Little and often helps. Covid is a great excuse to curtail duty socialising with extended family.

Horrible thread, also I think the word sahp is soon going to be extinct thankfully as what does it even mean? I work 6am to 11am everyday and some evenings and I also run our holiday let, I've had some stupid comments from the other side of fence from parents who assume I don't work as I'm there at all the pickups etc , thing is these are often ppl who's ft work is being massively facilitated by family support, we have none so have to balance everything between each other. I've even had comments about how it's ok for me to be able to go to Chrismas conncerts at school as they can't possibly do it as a working parent but at lease they are providing for their kids, em so do I....I've had the whole head tilt "what do you do with all your time? Wtf, I work! We are extremely busy with a few jobs, 3 dcs and all the household practical things that go on top.
I don't care what anyone else does and I never make assumptions about what other ppl do all day as it's nothing to do with me. Maybe they are looking after their elderly parents, maybe they volunteer, maybe they do work but freelance 🤷‍♀️, maybe they clean and cool loads and find this busy. That's all fair enough.

I had a child in full time school plus two pre school age children and a baby, and I had plenty to do! Loads of washing - two or three loads per day, plus constant cleaning or the place would've been stinking. Then there was the care of all the kids, meals, sorting clothes, ironing, etc. I certainly wasn't able to sit around having tea and toast! I don't get why it really matters though whether some mums are busy or not. Maybe some mums think they'll be judged as lazy or something by some, for not being super busy.

@OldkermitSippingtea

Is "working" the only form of being busy? Couldn't someone be busy at home cleaning, mending clothes, washing dishes, answering chat messages, surfing the net, ironing, food-shopping and meal prepping, etc? Aren't those "work" too?

They can be.

But so many people are this busy and work.

@user1471554720 no problem :)

@user1490954378 'Maybe some mums think they'll be judged as lazy or something by some, for not being super busy.'
I think thats it. people are worried they will look lazy

Also really don't like the assumption that someone else on here said about some people make when you work from home you sit about doing nothing all day, definately not true. I am tarred with that brush and even had a parent scoff at me over it when I explained what I do because apparently I'm sat at home doing nothing. I work more hours than do and working up my business so definately not taking the lazy option.

@Undisclosedlocation

What a weird thread. Full of people who claim they are so busy, yet have clearly found time to read a fairly pointless thread on the internet about random strangers

Different people like different paced lives. All are equally valid. Sometimes it’s age related, sometimes not.
Find a level of busy which suits you and keep your opinions about other peoples choices to yourself.

Well said! Does it matter - I thought that everyone mattered, everyone was an individual and we brought up our children to feel valued? How can we do that if we don't value adults and whatever she is doing?? Whatever she is doing (even if it's nothing) it is her life!

You know what I'm going to be completely different.
I work part and have school age children.
I do the housework and cooking. In no way do I think I'm busy as many working mums and honestly I have done it but I'm simply not super enough. You have to be amazing to juggle everything and I admire so much. I simply can't.
I also enjoy not being busy. I like to read, walk, and relax.
I like the house to be ordered and everyone happy. Then I can be a bit happy in the day not being busy.
I also realise I'm very lucky in this.
When I was a single mum working full time it was flipping hard.
I do also have MS though so I guess I legitimately feel tired and need to de stress.
Going off point but I think... can people just be allowed to be busy or admit they arnt ? I think women feel guilty about not being busy and exaggerate.

Realised I wasn't actually different

Its a sort of passive aggressive way of competing with you ie my life is busier/better than yours! I know what you mean! Xxx