Busy, busy, busy!

[Darkdecent]

People who don't work, haven't worked for years, have one child in full time school.
She's always busy, busy, super busy today!
How busy can you be?

Why do they say this? I know people who are genuinely busy but never mention it.

Is it some sort of insecurity that they feel they should be doing more?

I work full time, have teenage kids with busy schedules who need running here their and everywhere, I’m studying for a degree and try to find time to exercise, socialise and do house work. I feel like I’m quite busy, but not I manageable.

My mum, hasn’t worked for over 30 years, isn’t a keen house wife and doesn’t keep the place immaculate and generally doesn’t do an awful lot.

To talk to us, she would probably describe herself as the busier one, she always feels like she has a lot on. Having to do the food shop is a busy day.

It’s all about perspective. 🤷‍♀️

I used to work with a woman who was always so much busier than everyone else. She would spend all day, everyday telling everyone who would listen about just how busy she was. In my opinion, if she spent less time talking about how much she had to do, and actually go around to doing it, she would have got it all done in a couple of hours. Like everyone else managed to.

You see it on here all the time. The martyrs who feel like the have to do absolutely everything from scratch themselves and then complain about it all. Very loudly. It makes them feel important. Let them crack on and enjoy the extenensial crisis when they finally realise none of it matters and no one gives a shit.

Maybe she does do charity work but just doesn't shout about it.

Perhaps she's heading off other people assuming they can make use of her time, eg she doesn't want to do PTA volunteering so she makes herself too busy so she won't be asked. Perhaps she's genuinely busy but doing a lot of stuff that most of us wouldn't bother with, like ironing underwear. I think your idea of insecurity about not achieving much is probably true for lots of 'busy' people too.

They may be actually busy? Just because she doesn't work and her child is at school, doesn't mean she doesn't have things to do?
Bit of a strange post. Why not ask what's shes busy doing if your so curious?

I don't think you should read much into it. Other than perhaps as you think it is possibly exaggerated to think twice before using the expression about you at any time.

What is the point of your post OP?

It does seem rather mean spirited.

I know there's competitive busyness (I actually mostly find it around those who work in an office, when they're busy surfing the net) but sometimes, people also say they're busy as a polite way of saying they're not available to you/don't want to do what you're asking them to do.

I also wouldn't blame those who say they're busy just to seem important when you have people who probably think being at home and doing nothing is a sign of worthlessness. Perhaps she gets that from you and wants to appear worthy in your eyes. Who knows?

On my days off I generally lie in until 9, have a cooked breakfast, tidy kitchen, do a wash, walk the dog, do one household chore, read the paper, pick kids up and take them to an activity, make dinner, tidy up after dinner and sit down at 730 and feel like I’ve had as busy and productive a day as the days I work 12 hour shifts on Labour ward.

Perhaps she has other things going on that you’re not aware of? I doubt you know every aspect of her life. For instance she could have started a course and be studying, she could be going on holiday, planning to move house etc...depending upon how close you are as a friend you may not know everything. Or on the other hand she could be making excuses and she said it as a reason not to meet up? It depends on context - is she saying it as a response to you asking her to do something?

Add in meetings friend for lunch and I feel positively knackered!

I'll be completely honest with you here @Darkdecent - if there is an individual that I want to keep at arms length, I might reply to them if asked did I want to do anything with them like "Hi Look, there is a group of us/I'm going to the coffee shop/park/wherever and thought you might like to join me", I might reply "Thanks but I'm really busy at the moment, maybe another time".
I could be getting my hair done, having a pedicure, organising my domestic paperwork, watching television, whatever but to me I'm busy and not able to attend.
I don't know who this person is that has said that they are "Busy, busy, busy" to you but maybe they wanted to be polite in turning down an invite to do something with you because they don't want to.

It's because too many of believe that we are Human Doings rather than Human Beings.

@Peanutbutterandbananatoastie

Not really any of your business is op? Could she be making an excuse not to see you?

Brutal

It depends on the definition of busy.

You seem to think busy is the stressful, tiring context of juggling work,kids,housework etc.

Some people just think of it as having things to do , not being bored, a full/active social life etc.

I dont get it either, how can you be busy if you don't work?

My MIL is retired. She is always busy. What is difficult about it for you to understand?

I feel the same OP. I have friends that do nothing. Don't even have kids yet and somehow are just soooo busy! This isn't about not making time to see me because they do, but it's always ahh sorry I didn't text back earlier I'm so busy/stressed. And I think, with what? It's a lack of organisation.
I genuinely am busy. Full time, demanding job, pets, kids, constantly hosting friends at our house, no cleaner or extra help. I'm just very very organised and efficient.
In the end, I don't care, because they're still great friends, those comments just make me think hmmm live my life for a day!

@Coldwine75

I dont get it either, how can you be busy if you don't work?

By having other things to do. Gym, hobbies, friends,volunteering, studying (for pleasure), housework,gardens etc.

Busy means having stuff to do, the "value" of it is irrelevant.

I have a second job that I don’t really tell anyone about and I volunteer and don’t shout about it. I never seem to have free time with one DC, a house to run, parents to look after etc.

You have no idea what other people are up to. Or maybe she just doesn’t want to talk to you?

Some people take all day to make a meal, pop out for errands, work out and do a bit of housework.. faffers! That all happens before 9am here

Being busy is fine. Going on about being busy busy busy is extremely annoying. YANBU.

Maybe she is, maybe she isn't.

The question you need to ask yourself, is why are you questioning it?

Just be happy yourself, with your own choices, and you won't feel this need to feel superior to others.

I have a friend who is always busy and she just doesn't stop doing stuff I can never be bothered with. She literally doesn't know how to stop and do nothing.

She exhausts me.

“She's always busy, busy, super busy today!”

Who is “she?”

I’m sorry if somebody is fobbing you off on this BH weekend OP.