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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - just been called completely irresponsible for going to stay in a hotel?

275 replies

Pivotthesofa · 15/05/2021 09:44

DH and I are late ish 30s so not been vaccinated yet.
We have a short break early this coming week in London which involves meeting friends for an afternoon tea, then staying at a lovely boutique hotel near at James park and having dinner in a restaurant on the same road

My sister has just told me that I’m completely irresponsible for still going, that I’m essentially saying I’m happy to leave 17 month old DS an orphan for the sake of a few cocktails!

I feel really upset now. It’s the first break away or night out we’ve had since I was six months pregnant as I had a bad pregnancy, and I was really looking forward to it.

DH Has an Addison Lee account through work so we were getting a car for the hours journey to the hotel and back the next day, so no public transport. We were going to be really careful etc

But DS talking about how it’s really bad for those in their 30s - the new variant - and acting like we are basically signing our own death warrant for a day away has really chilled me.

I was having a bit of a wobble anyway and was reassured by some lovely posters on here when I posted about it, but now I’m wondering if we should just cancel the whole thing. :(

AIBU to go?

OP posts:
ASimpleLobsterHat · 15/05/2021 09:46

Your sister is being melodramatic. Go and enjoy yourselves - I’m jealous!

minniemomo · 15/05/2021 09:48

No you aren't unreasonable to go. I have a trip booked in 2 weeks myself. I personally am not using public transport though nor cabs. We drive with the most ventilation known to transport, motorbike!

Chickychoccyegg · 15/05/2021 09:48

Your sister is being very dramatic, and it's unfair of her to guilt trip you like this.
If it were me, I'd still go, but if you're unsure could you delay a couple of weeks, by then we'd have a better idea of this variant?
Just you decide to go, have a great time!

DDiva · 15/05/2021 09:48

Everything you're doing is allowed so no yanbu.

We all have our different views on what we're comfortable with. You are happy to go so it's got nothing to do with your sister.

I can completely understand how your sister feels, I wouldn't have a trip to London at the moment either but that irrelevant to you.

Accidentallydeletedoopsss · 15/05/2021 09:49

She’s being ridiculous. Does she have kids?

Justgorgeous · 15/05/2021 09:49

Go and have a wonderful time.

redcarbluecar · 15/05/2021 09:50

I think it sounds lovely. Take care, and enjoy yourselves.

Lostinacloud · 15/05/2021 09:50

Have you had a hangover before OP? Because I’m 10 years older than you and that’s what covid felt like for me. A few days with a bit of a headache and feeling like I wanted easy food on the sofa whilst watching films. If you were extremely unlucky enough to be able to catch it, from the current pool of less than 2500 daily infected people in the entire country, then this is most likely the reaction that you will have at your age. Go and have fun and enjoy your break, you will be more likely to experience a real hangover by the sound of it!

hilbil21 · 15/05/2021 09:50

Your sister is bananas.

Ponoka7 · 15/05/2021 09:50

You won't die, she's being ridiculous on that front. But I do think that we should be cautious and shouldn't be traveling outside our area. The Indian variant isn't everywhere, but let's face it, it will be soon because of people's movements.

Wizzbangfizz · 15/05/2021 09:50

She is being bloody ludicrous go and enjoy it

skirk64 · 15/05/2021 09:50

She's putting it a little more starkly than is ideal, but her point is valid. It's a medium risk that you will catch COVID and a smaller risk that you will die from it, but the risk is there. Personally I wouldn't be heading into a big town or city any time soon; that said, we do need people to act as "cannon fodder" to demonstrate whether the prevailing level of restrictions is appropriate. If deaths shoot up we'll know they need to be tightened again.

GappyValley · 15/05/2021 09:51

Go and enjoy your break. It sounds lovely

Millions of people are living, travelling, socialising every day in London without dying.

And the areas where the variant is being found are miles away from where you are staying.

Your sister is being a total drama llama

Abraxan · 15/05/2021 09:51

She is being ridiculous.
You are doing nothing wrong by going. It's all within the rules.

Dh and I are off to London next Friday for the weekend. Two nights, meal out and train there and back. Looking forward to it. We are also eating it twice next week - Monday with friends, mid week with mil. Week after dh and I are flying to, Scotland for a half term break

It's all allowed and within the rules. Can't wait.

Ponoka7 · 15/05/2021 09:51

Also if both sets of parents are vaccinated and there's no risk to anyone in your family, tell her you've made your decision.

Chickenlickeninthepot · 15/05/2021 09:52

She knows people live in London, right? It's not the opening scene from 28 Days Later.

Enjoy your cocktails and fancy hotel. I'm very jealous.

UsedUpUsername · 15/05/2021 09:52

Sounds lovely! You should go

GappyValley · 15/05/2021 09:52

It's a medium risk that you will catch COVID and a smaller risk that you will die from it, but the risk is there.

Nonsense!

There is an absolutely minuscule risk of catching it, and such a tiny risk of dying that it is barely measurable

RaspberryCoulis · 15/05/2021 09:53

Your sister is an arse.

Have a fabulous time, I'm jealous!

Shoxfordian · 15/05/2021 09:53

Ignore her and go anyway
Sounds lovely

Seasidemumma77 · 15/05/2021 09:54

@Chickenlickeninthepot

She knows people live in London, right? It's not the opening scene from 28 Days Later.

Enjoy your cocktails and fancy hotel. I'm very jealous.

Exactly what I was going to say
UnFringed · 15/05/2021 09:54

She’s being ridiculous and if we live in fear and isolation forever than what sort of life are we protecting?

Just go and ignore her!

Soontobe60 · 15/05/2021 09:54

Go for it! If you catch Covid I’m sure you’ll be fine.

Abraxan · 15/05/2021 09:55

@skirk64

She's putting it a little more starkly than is ideal, but her point is valid. It's a medium risk that you will catch COVID and a smaller risk that you will die from it, but the risk is there. Personally I wouldn't be heading into a big town or city any time soon; that said, we do need people to act as "cannon fodder" to demonstrate whether the prevailing level of restrictions is appropriate. If deaths shoot up we'll know they need to be tightened again.
Oh come on... cannon fodder?!? Seriously.

We need some perspective here.

The op is doing nothing wrong by following the rules and guidelines set out by the Government.

Even if they did catch covid from this trip, which is probably fairly unlikely anyway, the chances of them being seriously ill is minimal.

And I'm talking from the point of view of someone who was in hospital with covid last year. I was just unlucky. And I most likely caught it from school (work) anyway, not from a trip away where I'm socially distancing from people.

Ohpulltheotherone · 15/05/2021 09:56

You’re not doing anything against government guidelines. You’re doing nothing wrong.

Is your sister usually this melodramatic or unable to assess risk in the wider context?

You have more risk of being run over by a bus than dying of covid. Does she also tell you not to walk near bus depots?

You’re going to be wearing masks and socially distancing for the most part, not licking door handles in the local A&E ward.

Look, everything you do in life is risk assessed. And everyone’s level of acceptable risk is different. Pandemic or no pandemic. If you feel comfortable with your assessment then it is literally nothing to do with anyone else.

I am jealous and would love a little break like this.

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