AIBU - just been called completely irresponsible for going to stay in a hotel?

[Pivotthesofa]

DH and I are late ish 30s so not been vaccinated yet.
We have a short break early this coming week in London which involves meeting friends for an afternoon tea, then staying at a lovely boutique hotel near at James park and having dinner in a restaurant on the same road

My sister has just told me that I’m completely irresponsible for still going, that I’m essentially saying I’m happy to leave 17 month old DS an orphan for the sake of a few cocktails!

I feel really upset now. It’s the first break away or night out we’ve had since I was six months pregnant as I had a bad pregnancy, and I was really looking forward to it.

DH Has an Addison Lee account through work so we were getting a car for the hours journey to the hotel and back the next day, so no public transport. We were going to be really careful etc

But DS talking about how it’s really bad for those in their 30s - the new variant - and acting like we are basically signing our own death warrant for a day away has really chilled me.

I was having a bit of a wobble anyway and was reassured by some lovely posters on here when I posted about it, but now I’m wondering if we should just cancel the whole thing. :(

AIBU to go?

[JassyRadlett]

I don't think she is hysterical, why are you eating out with friends?

Because in the current context, and in OP’s specific context, it is a low risk activity.

[RightOnTheEdge]

I think she is ridiculous and totally out of order to speak to you like that.
She could have said it was worrying without being hysterical and using your child to guilt trip you.
Even better would have been to keep her hysterical opinions to herself.

You trip sounds lovely, go try to relax and enjoy yourself.

[TheYearOfSmallThings]

Your sister is a dingbat. Enjoy your lovely trip!

[inanename]

Please go and enjoy yourself and ignore your sister.

[wotchhha]

Got more chance olf dying in a car crash on the way there tbh

Not in bloody inner London, if the traffic is clear you are still unlikely to get above 20mph!

[pissface]

I have a uk holiday booked for 2 weeks, I'm not vaccinated but I will definitely be going!

[Bagelsandbrie]

I think we all have to assess our own risks and if you’re in your 30s and otherwise healthy I wouldn’t worry too much. Personally I wouldn’t go anywhere near London - too busy, too many people so social distancing won’t be happening much etc- I’d rather go somewhere more remote, some sort of country break. But I am in the clinically extremely vulnerable group (had both vaccines now though) so I’m more Covid wary than most!

[Abraxan]

@Lesartisansetlessansculottes

I don't think she is hysterical, why are you eating out with friends? The rest, ok, but the afternoon tea with friends... are they vaccinated even if you aren't?

Why shouldn't they eat with friends.
It's allowed.
And tbh it's a fairly low risk activity overall.

[Catswithflamingos]

If this was 2020 then yes, absolutely selfish. 2021? It’s allowed. Go. Enjoy.

[wotchhha]

Both dh and I are double vaccinated, with Pfizer.

I will feel more comfortable when DH & I are fully vaccinated but it's quite varied depending on where you are in terms of getting it. Eg one of my parents is shielding & only got their 2nd 3 wks ago.

[Gothichouse40]

It's really your decision to go. However, just a thought, is your sister jealous? I feel sorry for you as the government was saying one minute, no need to worry about the variant, then the next minute that useless PM is on TV saying yes we do. Which is it? Im not surprised you are in a quandary but don't be blaming yourself. The government needs to make decisions and stop giving out mixed messages and false hope. I feel it's done this throughout and it's starting to pi** me right off.

[PurpleFlower1983]

Have a great time! We’re going away next weekend child free for the first time in ages and I can’t wait!

[Hadjab]

I have lost 3 family members to COVID (underlying health conditions), I know probably about 30 people who have had it, all are fine - I’m not going to live in fear of what might happen, and I’d suggest your sister shouldn’t either.

[ArcheryAnnie]

I work near where you will be staying, and I travel there by public transport, and I was really quite ill just over a year ago (as in rushed to hospital) with covid, leaving my teenage DS in the flat alone in the middle of the night, having said goodbye to one another - and I would say you are probably OK. There is a risk, both that you might catch it, and that you might be seriously ill from it, and it really is a lottery about how your body reacts when you get covid, but if you are reasonably careful the risk should be low. (And you are also at risk where you live, so if you are careful normally, then that;s fine.)

When you are in a cab, keep the windows fully open. Remember your taxi driver is in a profession where s/he is in a confined space with strangers every day, breathing each others' air. Don't feel shy about asking them to wear their mask properly. In the hotel, don't share small lifts with strangers - I have said "I'm really sorry, you will have to wait for the next one" quite a few times, and not been punched yet!.

In central London, some spots are fine, and in some, people have gone nuts. (Soho has been absolutely rammed.) But around St. James it is unlikely to be jammed.

Have a lovely time.

[blacksax]

It depends more on where you're coming from than where you are going to. If you live in a hotspot for the Indian variant for instance, then you shouldn't really be travelling a long way and potentially taking it with you.

Otherwise, sounds all right really.

[Shortbreadbrokemytooth]

Unless you and DH are planning to hug/kiss everyone in the hotel or restaurant, your risk is very low.

[unwuthering]

"It's allowed." So was Christmas mingling. Doesn't mean it's a good idea.

Your sister is more risk-averse than you. I find it odd you say:

We were going to be really careful etc

How is that done, at afternoon tea with friends, staying in a hotel, and then having dinner in a restaurant? And in an enclosed space in a car with a stranger driving for an hour there and back. I can see her point.

[zingally]

Oh, tell her to bog off and go enjoy your trip!

[wotchhha]

So was Christmas mingling

Not in London at actual Christmas, still pissed off about that!

[partyatthepalace]

For heavens sake go! Your sister is a loon.

[OnGoldenPond]

There seems to be a rumour going round that the Indian variant is causing more serious disease in young people than in old people. My DD rang me panicking about this. It is just not true. There is nothing to suggest that this variant is any different to earlier variants re severity of disease. More cases of serious disease have been seen in India in younger people simply because of the younger profile of the population as a whole and poorer nutrition/ healthcare.

There has now been a suggestion that the this variant may be slightly more resistant to the vaccine but is likely to be an insignificant effect. Main concern is possibility that it is more transmissible but again not known how much of a problem this will be.

Maybe, being charitable, your DSIS has heard these incorrect rumours. Or maybe she is completely hysterical . Whichever, you are definitely not being unreasonable going on your trip, you are taking sensible precautions and it is low risk. The benefits to your mental health of going far outweigh the very low risk of catching COVID. Go and enjoy!

[murbblurb]

I'm super cautious. I'd be nervous about the taxi unless it has a partition ,- keep the windows wide open. Don't see an issue with the hotel.

Keep your distance from your friends, easy on the hugs.

[Abigailandthefoxes]

That made me laugh it sums up how I feel when people tell me it’s dangerous in London.

[Pivotthesofa]

@Cocomarine yes I really do. I’ve suffered since a medical trauma I experienced a couple of years ago and I can completely understand her worries. I cannot understand her telling me I am happy to leave my son an orphan however.

[Lovingspring]

Is your sister perhaps jealous OP?