AIBU - just been called completely irresponsible for going to stay in a hotel?

[Pivotthesofa]

DH and I are late ish 30s so not been vaccinated yet.
We have a short break early this coming week in London which involves meeting friends for an afternoon tea, then staying at a lovely boutique hotel near at James park and having dinner in a restaurant on the same road

My sister has just told me that I’m completely irresponsible for still going, that I’m essentially saying I’m happy to leave 17 month old DS an orphan for the sake of a few cocktails!

I feel really upset now. It’s the first break away or night out we’ve had since I was six months pregnant as I had a bad pregnancy, and I was really looking forward to it.

DH Has an Addison Lee account through work so we were getting a car for the hours journey to the hotel and back the next day, so no public transport. We were going to be really careful etc

But DS talking about how it’s really bad for those in their 30s - the new variant - and acting like we are basically signing our own death warrant for a day away has really chilled me.

I was having a bit of a wobble anyway and was reassured by some lovely posters on here when I posted about it, but now I’m wondering if we should just cancel the whole thing. :(

AIBU to go?

[RedcurrantPuff]

Your sister is off her head and cases are still low.

Go.

[Egghead81]

You are in your late thirties OP

Woman up!

[osbertthesyrianhamster]

I guess no one dies of anything else but Covid these days. Going on a trip, you could leave your child an orphan of Covid, not because planes, trains and automobiles crash, accidents happen, people get other illnesses etc etc.

She's ridiculous.

[Pivotthesofa]

@unwuthering we are going to be careful in that we are wearing masks in public spaces unless eating or drinking, the hotel has rearranged its layout for dining and introduced bigger tables for dinner and afternoon tea. Drinks are outside at their bar.

We are getting a private taxi instead of public transport and the hotel only has six rooms so won’t be teaming with people.

We will sanitise etc, wash hands, keep our distance.

So not as “really careful” as staying at home and not leaving the house at all, or just popping to the shops but as careful as we can possibly be while still going away.

I appreciate everyone has different risk levels, this time last year I wouldn’t have considered this even if it was allowed, so I understand that completely. I think it’s more the way she’s aired her concerns that’s really bothered me so I probably phrased my AIBU incorrectly

[Talkwhilstyouwalk]

Sounds wonderful! It's allowed and within the rules 👏👏. Your sister is being completely over the top, and it's also none of her business unless she is the one looking after your toddler?

[Pivotthesofa]

@Lesartisansetlessansculottes it’s allowed to eat out with friends. Lots of people are going to be eating out with friends and mingling in indoor spaces, likely without any social distancing, which we will be observing.

[Pivotthesofa]

@Gothichouse40 exactly this! I’m half expecting Boris to pop up at 8pm on Tuesday to tell us gravely that actually hospitality etc has to close again.

[Snakeprint]

Your sister is talking shit. Go and enjoy yourselves. Im going away for 2 nights next week and have 0 worries.

[Snakeprint]

[quote Pivotthesofa]@Gothichouse40 exactly this! I’m half expecting Boris to pop up at 8pm on Tuesday to tell us gravely that actually hospitality etc has to close again.[/quote]
Nooooooooo

[Talkwhilstyouwalk]

@unwuthering

"It's allowed." So was Christmas mingling. Doesn't mean it's a good idea.

Your sister is more risk-averse than you. I find it odd you say:

We were going to be really careful etc

How is that done, at afternoon tea with friends, staying in a hotel, and then having dinner in a restaurant? And in an enclosed space in a car with a stranger driving for an hour there and back. I can see her point.

Nah, time to get living again. There is risk in everything, got to chose which ones you are prepared to take.....

[unwuthering]

Sounds like you have thought it through, OP, and your sister has just unnerved you. I am sure it was said out of an abundance of care for you, and her own anxieties may have led her to express her concerns in a way that was all worst-case scenario...

[SeaToSki]

You are probably more at risk from a traffic accident than covid.

[newnortherner111]

The greatest risk you are taking is the car journey. Given that about 20% of people in normal times are allowed to drive who should not be. However, that would be the same regardless of the pandemic.

I worked near St James's Park and hope you have the time to walk around it, and Green Park, and see Buckingham Palace.

Can you do us all a favour and arrest Mr Johnson if you see him out running with Carrie's dog?

[GabriellaMontez]

Your sister is scared to leave the house and talked about orphaning your son?

She sounds unstable and rude. I'd forgive her, she's probably read too many scaremongering headlines. The stuff about people in their 30's is bullshit.

Ignore her and go.

[KaleSlayer]

If you’re comfortable with this level of ‘risk’ then you have to just have to get on with it.
If your sisters concern is genuine, it would have been better for her to speak to you in a less dramatic way.

[EnidPrunehat]

It's a somewhat wild over-reaction. Personally, I don't go by what the government says is safe given their past performance and dreadful mortality rate. However, some aspects of life have to return to what'll pass for normal and if you feel safe taking your trip to London, you do it. I suspect, from your need to get reassurance from MN, that you are slightly unsure but ultimately, right now is probably as safe as any time. Certainly, once the more transmissable variants take hold and we discover their impact on a population that's still far from vaccinated, things may change. Right now I'd rely on what you are comfortable doing having taken all the sensible facts into account.

[Pivotthesofa]

@EnidPrunehat yes exactly this. I was feeling happy with my risk assessment, we had tweaked plans so we felt like we were being safer and decided to avoid the tube and train (although middle of the day on a weekday at the moment is probably very safe) largely due to ventilation as we can have the windows open in the car.

But her words combined with some of the things I’ve read on mumsnet have made me feel more uncertain but I’m particularly upset by the orphan comment

[osbertthesyrianhamster]

Pivot just don't stick your hand in the crazy!

[saraclara]

The rates in central London are some of the lowest in the country. I've been going in to visit a friend (I live an hour away) over the last month or so, and I'm going for the day this coming week. My friend is in their 30s and lives there, and like all but a teeny tiny number of Londoners is living to tell the tale!

Does your DSis think London only exists for tourists and it's impossible to move around it without being shoulder to shoulder with the masses? There's not a single point of logic in her freak out. You're no more at risk there than at home, and depending where you live, there's probably less! I know the rates there are lower than where I live.

[Egghead81]

@SeaToSki

You are probably more at risk from a traffic accident than covid.

There is no “probably” about it.

Without a shadow of a doubt.

[KaleSlayer]

I’m particularly upset by the orphan comment

She’s been deliberately emotive and it’s worked! You know that your child is very unlikely to be an orphan by doing what you’re doing. You had presumably ‘risk assessed’ before her comments and were happy to go.

[saraclara]

we are going to be careful in that we are wearing masks in public spaces unless eating or drinking

You have no more need to wear masks outside than you would normally do. please tell me you're not going to walk round St James's' Park in a mask!
PLEASE relax and enjoy yourself. London is just a place. A place where its residents are living their normal lives like you do at home. It's not something 'other' because it's the capital city.

[BashfulClam]

We stayed at a hotel on 1st May, we’re in Scotland so took the very first opportunity for a special occasion. Go and have fun, we’re not vaccinated yet. We took alcohol wiped bc and wiped the surfaces, switches and touch points ourselves and put the remote for the tv in a plastic bag. Hotels are using strict hygiene protocols.

[Pivotthesofa]

@saraclara no not outside :) but when we are in the shared spaces in the hotel

[EL8888]

@Chickenlickeninthepot exactly. I went to London for work on Wednesday and lm still alive

Enjoy yourself and go.