AIBU - just been called completely irresponsible for going to stay in a hotel?

[Pivotthesofa]

DH and I are late ish 30s so not been vaccinated yet.
We have a short break early this coming week in London which involves meeting friends for an afternoon tea, then staying at a lovely boutique hotel near at James park and having dinner in a restaurant on the same road

My sister has just told me that I’m completely irresponsible for still going, that I’m essentially saying I’m happy to leave 17 month old DS an orphan for the sake of a few cocktails!

I feel really upset now. It’s the first break away or night out we’ve had since I was six months pregnant as I had a bad pregnancy, and I was really looking forward to it.

DH Has an Addison Lee account through work so we were getting a car for the hours journey to the hotel and back the next day, so no public transport. We were going to be really careful etc

But DS talking about how it’s really bad for those in their 30s - the new variant - and acting like we are basically signing our own death warrant for a day away has really chilled me.

I was having a bit of a wobble anyway and was reassured by some lovely posters on here when I posted about it, but now I’m wondering if we should just cancel the whole thing. :(

AIBU to go?

[ineedaholidaynow]

I think she is being melodramatic on the orphan side but I would be restricting my movements at the moment due to this variant and staying reasonably local.

[Ohpulltheotherone]

@skirk64

She's putting it a little more starkly than is ideal, but her point is valid. It's a medium risk that you will catch COVID and a smaller risk that you will die from it, but the risk is there. Personally I wouldn't be heading into a big town or city any time soon; that said, we do need people to act as "cannon fodder" to demonstrate whether the prevailing level of restrictions is appropriate. If deaths shoot up we'll know they need to be tightened again.

There is not a medium risk? It’s statistically very small???

Long term complications and death risk is tiny

[Mellonsprite]

I would go, it’s allowed and we need to start getting back to normal.

[Mummytemping]

Sounds fine to me... levels of covid in the community (bar some higher risk areas) are incredibly low. I live in a city and we had less than 5 cases in our ward or neighbouring wards. Then if you were to catch it, in your thirties with no health conditions, you would very likely be at worst moderately unwell. Your child becoming an orphan is probably less statistically likely from covid than from a car ride.

[Vickles20]

She’s totally poo poo’d it!!!!
Listen. It obviously comes from love and concern. But she’s taken it too far.
It’s one thing to be concerned and to tell you to be careful/safe etc. My sister says that to me and I can hear the concern in her voice
However. Your sister sprayed poo all over it!!
Tell her to back off. You appreciate her concern. But she should tone it down

[Cocomarine]

I actually voted YABU.
Not for going, but for being cross with your sister.
You said yourself that you’d had enough of a wobble about it that you posted on here for the reassurance of strangers over it. If you’re allowed to be worried enough to do that, why isn’t she allowed to be worried about it to tell you not to go?
For the record, I think you’re both ridiculous about it.
But (a) her worries aren’t so different from yours so she cares about you and (b) it is entirely your choice to feel bad over what she has said.
Make up your own mind, and have the courage of your convictions.
Don’t start two threads about it, then be cross that some people (your sister) have the same fears.

[ineedaholidaynow]

@Ohpulltheotherone aren’t there still some unknowns about this Indian variant. At the press conference yesterday there definitely seemed to be the suggestion that they needed to see what happens if quite a few people get it, so cannon fodder is probably correct.

[rainyskylight]

She’s being ridiculous. Have fun!

[justanotherneighinparadise]

I’ve cut people out of my life for less. Your sister sounds toxic.

[TeacupDrama]

4.5 million cases out of 65 million is much less than10% so even after 15 months of covid 93% of the population haven't had it. The risk to healthy people in their 30s is miniscule so tiny that at low levels of covid that it is much less than their chance of dying from something else in the next 12 months

[KarmaStar]

It's your second post on the exact same subject?

[Theluggage15]

Go and enjoy it! Your sister is ridiculous as is the PP going on about small risk of death. My daughter lives in London and is very much enjoying going out and has lots of indoor events planned. Some people have no idea about how to assess risk. Ignore them, they’re like the people who wander around with sandwich boards declaring the end is nigh.

[MintMatchmaker]

We all have to decide what we’re comfortable with. If you feel it’s okay to go then go and enjoy yourself. Your sister may have a different attitude to risk, that’s okay too.

In my friendship circle there are varying attitudes. I was trying to organise for 6 of us to meet, but two of the group don’t want to yet. We’ve agreed to postpone but I will still meet with other friends in the meantime.

[Pivotthesofa]

I posted to ask if people would go when I was having a wobble.

But this is more about what my sister said! I’m really shocked she said it but I don’t know if that’s the general mood about the Indian variant which is why I asked. She’s usually very level headed but Covid seems to have left her scared to leave the house :( and I’m the one who has health anxiety so I’m usually the cautious one!

[Pivotthesofa]

Sorry that was to @KarmaStar

[Viviennemary]

I bet she's jealous. Just go.

[Pivotthesofa]

@Cocomarine very fair. I think my upset is largely about her saying I am happy to leave my baby an orphan.
I understand her concerns but that feels like way too much and not very fair to me

[starbrightstarlight8888]

I wouldn't go just because people travelling around the country is exactly how variants spread but it's allowed within the rules.

[GrumpyHoonMain]

There is no evidence to suggest the Indian varient is more lethel or causes more complications, it’s just more infectious. Even in India the highest risk groups are those people over 45 who have other conditions

[RichardMarxisinnocent]

It's a medium risk that you will catch COVID and a smaller risk that you will die from it, but the risk is there. Personally I wouldn't be heading into a big town or city any time soon

It really isn't a medium risk that you'll catch it.
And as for not heading into a big town or city, I live i a city, along with a lot of other people. I have managed not to catch covid yet, despite living in the dangerous city, and only personally know 2 people who have had it. I'm off to stay in a hotel in a small city in June and will even be travelling by train.

[Schrutesbeets]

Tell her every time she gets in a car she's risking leaving her family without a mum/sister/wife/daughter etc.
She's an idiot.

[ilovesooty]

[quote Pivotthesofa]@Cocomarine very fair. I think my upset is largely about her saying I am happy to leave my baby an orphan.
I understand her concerns but that feels like way too much and not very fair to me[/quote]
I think that was a horrible thing to say. Having differences of opinion is OK. That kind of guilt tripping isn't.

I hope you have a lovely time.

[Roonerspismed]

Your sister sounds unhinged

[Fizzgigg]

I love close to St James Park and it's still relatively quiet around here in terms of numbers of people around and outside restaurants. Also local infection numbers are very low.

[Fizzgigg]

Live. Not love!