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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Weird neighbour behaviour what do I do

247 replies

Hoorayforsunshine · 08/04/2021 05:57

Posting for a friend who has shared vids from her security camera.

While they are away from their home (permitted travel), NDN has:

— jumped over the garden fence
—gone to the house to stare inside
—poked around items on the patio
—- spend a couple mins overall in the garden before leaving.

To me it looks like he was looking for a spare key/ way to get in while they were away. Don’t think he realised that they have a security camera which recorded all the above. Apparently he has asked for a key before.

Yes - there is no innocent explanation here.

No - there is an innocent explanation.

What on earth should they do? My suggestion was to have a word on their return so they can gauge his response but my friend said that this guy has always seemed creepy.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hoorayforsunshine · 08/04/2021 05:58

Useless explanarion on the voting:

YANBU - no innocent explanation
YABU - there is an innocent explanation

And please post to explain what you think it might be!!

He knew they were away.

OP posts:
mellongoose · 08/04/2021 06:01

I would innocently ask the neighbour what they were looking for in the garden. If they deny it mention the camera. Stare them out until they crack!

dobidobidooo · 08/04/2021 06:01

My advice is say nothing and keep a recording and a close eye on neighbour for a while. Then go to police if needed.

Soubriquet · 08/04/2021 06:08

@mellongoose

I would innocently ask the neighbour what they were looking for in the garden. If they deny it mention the camera. Stare them out until they crack!
I like this idea

Also anti-vandal paint on the fence?

Sally2791 · 08/04/2021 06:12

I would find that deeply disturbing. Definitely never, ever give him a key- strange that he even asked! Maybe keep quiet for now and keep recording. How often do they go away?

Brenna24 · 08/04/2021 06:17

I would contact he police and leave it in their hands. He sounds pretty creepy. Once he knows that you have cameras and aren't scared to involve the police he will probably move on to someone else.

Original poster
Hoorayforsunshine · 08/04/2021 06:18

@Sally2791 it’s so weird.

Not sure - I think this is only the second time in lockdown. They have lived there about a yr/18m.

I don’t think police would get involved atm as trespass is civil offence. I don’t think he has done any damage although the way he climbed over fence won’t do the fence any favours/ could cause damage there over time.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hoorayforsunshine · 08/04/2021 06:19

@Brenna24 I think if he did it again and you said you felt harassed the police might step in. But suspect you can’t rely on the police to fix this atm.

OP posts:
MaMaD1990 · 08/04/2021 06:25

This sounds incredibly strange and really unnerving. They should call the police to ask for some advice and ask that this incident is noted down to help any future action should they need the police later down the line. I'm torn between approaching the neighbour and not to be honest.

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 08/04/2021 06:33

Ask him, you were seen on camera on our property, was there an issue we should be made aware of.

pilates · 08/04/2021 06:37

I would speak to non emergency police to ask for advice. How unnerving.

roundtable · 08/04/2021 06:38

Spikes along the top of the fence and a big CCTV sticker.

Is there another neighbour that could keep an eye out too? That is really weird and intrusive behaviour.

joystir59 · 08/04/2021 06:39

Both civil and criminal trespass involve entering an owner’s land or accessing the owner’s property without permission. Criminal trespass involves entering or remaining in a place knowing one is there without a license or privilege

Scarydinosaurs · 08/04/2021 06:40

If she felt intimidated then the police would be interested. Is he displaying stalker behaviour?

Spandang · 08/04/2021 06:41

I would wait and see if it happens again.

If you ask him now there’ll be something innocent like ‘oh I saw you’d gone out and I heard a burglary type noise next door so thought I’d best check it out’.

If your friend catches him multiple times it’s...it’s creepy and harassing.

Incidentally did he try any of the doors to the property to get in?

CornforthWhite · 08/04/2021 06:44

They need to move. Nothing good can come from this situation.

Aussieadopter · 08/04/2021 06:46

Put movement sensitive sprinklers all over the back garden

BobISMyUncle · 08/04/2021 06:57

Perhaps your friend could ask him if he noticed anyone in the garden while they were away, as it appears that some things have been moved?
It keeps it innocent, kind of, IYSWIM? If he hasn't noticed the CCTV, he doesn't need to be alerted to it. Just see what the reaction is, and in the meantime, keep recording and keep a record (manual) of anything untoward. Don't know if this is a useful suggestion, but hope so. However, if your friend lives alone, or is a single parent, I would be inclined to ask for some advice from the local constabulary. I have found them to be extremely helpful. Good luck to your friend!

Palaver1 · 08/04/2021 07:01

cornforthwhite moving would be a bit drastic.
I personally would let him know he was recorded and ask why he was on the property .
Also good to use the stickers letting one know they are being recorded.
Quite concerning but at least your aware.

yellowmelon · 08/04/2021 07:04

Well this is disturbing. No, there can't be an innocent explanation.

Bogeyes · 08/04/2021 07:07

Leave an old key from an old unused lock under a mat or plant pot. See if he tries it in a door. Then you will really see what his intentions are.

FatCatThinCat · 08/04/2021 07:07

I don't think there is such a thing a criminal trespass in English law.

Shinesun14 · 08/04/2021 07:08

Don't tell the neighbour there's a camera. He might disarm (if that's the right word) it and break in.

BeachBall3 · 08/04/2021 07:10

Did he know the friends would be away?
Just thinking as it is unusual for people to be away at the moment he might have been checking everyone was ok if no movement from the house?

HappyGirl86 · 08/04/2021 07:11

I agree with you OP, at this point the police wouldn't be able to do anything.
I'd probably put a sign on my gate (where he climbed over) that says something about there being CCTV.
I'd also definitely say something to the neighbour. I'd say I was checking the CCTV and saw him looking into the house and ask if there was a problem? Come across innocently and see how he reacts.
Hopefully just knowing he's on cctv might be enough to stop him.