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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Weird neighbour behaviour what do I do

247 replies

Hoorayforsunshine · 08/04/2021 05:57

Posting for a friend who has shared vids from her security camera.

While they are away from their home (permitted travel), NDN has:

— jumped over the garden fence
—gone to the house to stare inside
—poked around items on the patio
—- spend a couple mins overall in the garden before leaving.

To me it looks like he was looking for a spare key/ way to get in while they were away. Don’t think he realised that they have a security camera which recorded all the above. Apparently he has asked for a key before.

Yes - there is no innocent explanation here.

No - there is an innocent explanation.

What on earth should they do? My suggestion was to have a word on their return so they can gauge his response but my friend said that this guy has always seemed creepy.

OP posts:
skirk64 · 08/04/2021 08:58

I'd ask him if he was trying to get hold of us. We'd been away and noticed him on the CCTV looking into the house, what was he trying to contact us about?

This is why everyone should have CCTV up. Odd people poking about on your property happens a lot more than you might think, not just when you are away either.

category12 · 08/04/2021 08:59

I think they need a dog.

IntermittentParps · 08/04/2021 09:00

I wouldn't speak to the neighbour right now but would call the non-emergency police. I've found them very helpful before (albeit not for this kind of issue); they are very reassuring and knowledgeable).

LoudestCat14 · 08/04/2021 09:03

What time of day was it? Does he have children? Because there's a difference between looking for something that accidentally pinged over the fence (knowing the neighbour was away and couldn't retrieve it for you) to rooting around someone's garden in the middle of the night. So when was he captured on camera, OP?

CaptainMyCaptain · 08/04/2021 09:03

@user1493413286

I would go round and in a pretend innocent way ask if everything was ok because I’d seen him on my camera; he’ll give some kind of excuse that may or may not be genuine but it sends the message that he’s been seen
This seems the easiest and safest way.
TotorosFurryBehind · 08/04/2021 09:04

He could just be really nosey? And yes whilst that is unacceptable and creepy there is no reason to assume this is going to escalate like some posters have said.

Bentoforthehorde · 08/04/2021 09:04

Don't speak to the neighbour.
Do speak to the police.
If it looks like he was trying to gain access to their house you should let the police know because then there will be a record of it if this turns out to be a pattern of behaviour.

BeatBox6 · 08/04/2021 09:06

@TotorosFurryBehind

He could just be really nosey? And yes whilst that is unacceptable and creepy there is no reason to assume this is going to escalate like some posters have said.
An adult who doesn't know the difference between being nosey and creepy? You have no idea what his intentions are and what he would do with the key he had previously requested.

I cannot believe the naivety of posters on here.

BeatBox6 · 08/04/2021 09:09

What @Bentoforthehorde said. If you contact the police for advice they will most likely do a check on this man. He might have form for this sort of thing. Or maybe he's never got caught for it and they will log it as an incident. Better to have a paper trail than not.

Poppiesandfreesias · 08/04/2021 09:13

Definitely speak to the police and ask for their advice, for all the reasons other posters have given.
You don't know what creepy bloke's motives are and confronting him could actually be dangerous. He might have been casing the house for one of his mates to burgle it. The police will know if he has form (a Google search might, possibly also show up convictions if you know his name).

WildfirePonie · 08/04/2021 09:15

That is so creepy! Anti climb paint on the fence? Something sharp on the ground next to the fence? Spikes on the fence? Confront him with video evidence/still screenshots and show him. Ask him to explain himself, demand an explanation!

Pinkbrush · 08/04/2021 09:16

@BobISMyUncle

Perhaps your friend could ask him if he noticed anyone in the garden while they were away, as it appears that some things have been moved? It keeps it innocent, kind of, IYSWIM? If he hasn't noticed the CCTV, he doesn't need to be alerted to it. Just see what the reaction is, and in the meantime, keep recording and keep a record (manual) of anything untoward. Don't know if this is a useful suggestion, but hope so. However, if your friend lives alone, or is a single parent, I would be inclined to ask for some advice from the local constabulary. I have found them to be extremely helpful. Good luck to your friend!
I agree with this. Don’t alert him to the CCTV just yet. See if he lies.
pepsicolagirl · 08/04/2021 09:16

post video on local neighbourhood fb page and ask if anyone else has picked up strange behaviour on their cameras.. what a weirdo

badacorn · 08/04/2021 09:19

I’d phone the Police and hope they’d speak to him.

This isn’t nosiness, this is more like worrying dangerous behaviour.

WildfirePonie · 08/04/2021 09:19

PP mentioned film for the glass.
I can recommend this one or similar.

amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B08BPGXY6F/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

frumpety · 08/04/2021 09:20

Innocent explanation - lost pet, thinks there might be a possibility it has got trapped in your friends house, pet turned up before they got back ?

Does he live on his own or with a family etc ?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 08/04/2021 09:20

Why would they not ask him why he was on their property?

Umbivalent · 08/04/2021 09:22

I wouldn't ask for an explanation. But I would make very sure that he knows there's a constantly-recording CCTV camera. Maybe even put up a little sign?

Swordfish1 · 08/04/2021 09:25

So either ndn is really creepy and possibly was looking for a key.
Or they heard a noise and checked it out, though I think that would be obvious from the footage.

Personally I would plant a key (not one that opens the house though) outside and then let it known going away for 2 days.
Leave the house for the first day but return later that evening and check the footage to see if he found the key and actually tried it. That would confirm if he was looking for a key. if he did. Police.

Does your friend live alone OP? I would find this pretty scary either way but more so if living alone.

Also can she access the camera remotely in real time? So come to yours and watch and see if he goes into her garden again and spots the key?

Nanny0gg · 08/04/2021 09:30

@BeatBox6

This isn't just being nosey!!! Trespassing is illegal. He's jumped into another person's property and is invading their privacy.

Report him to the police. What a low life!

Trespass is a civil matter, not a police one.

However, as he wasn't just wandering about, he was pretty much casing the joint, it's a bit more than trespass imo

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 08/04/2021 09:30

I think I would leave a note taped to the inside of the window, all in caps, saying "WE KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING NEIGHBOUR-NAME". If he stays out of their garden he'll never know it's there, if he's there and reads it it'll hopefully freak him the fuck out.

Collaborate · 08/04/2021 09:32

@joystir59

Both civil and criminal trespass involve entering an owner’s land or accessing the owner’s property without permission. Criminal trespass involves entering or remaining in a place knowing one is there without a license or privilege
I have absolutely no idea where you get this from. www.cps.gov.uk/legal-guidance/trespass-and-nuisance-land
BreatheAndFocus · 08/04/2021 09:36

Could he be looking for something of his that went over into the garden? Why did he ask for a key? Does he obsess about watering plants? About burglars?

If none of those explain it, I would not tell him I had a camera - why on Earth would you warn someone about that? I’d get advice from the police, and keep watching the NDN, maybe even setting up another visit away to see if he does it again.

HerMammy · 08/04/2021 09:45

I think a bit more background could be helpful, do they usually get on with him? why did he ask for a key? has he behaved oddly before?

Glumgal · 08/04/2021 09:47

I would be a little freaked out by that.

He could just be really nosey and want to see what their house is like but still unacceptable behaviour. Why did he ask them for a key previously? Was it on the pretext of looking after their property while they are away? I have a key for my ndn - her daughter locked herself out once - but I have never been inside her house and we've been neighbours for over 30 years.

When are they due back? If it's a while away I would be getting someone to knock and ask is everything ok as they were seen on the camera.