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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Weird neighbour behaviour what do I do

247 replies

Hoorayforsunshine · 08/04/2021 05:57

Posting for a friend who has shared vids from her security camera.

While they are away from their home (permitted travel), NDN has:

— jumped over the garden fence
—gone to the house to stare inside
—poked around items on the patio
—- spend a couple mins overall in the garden before leaving.

To me it looks like he was looking for a spare key/ way to get in while they were away. Don’t think he realised that they have a security camera which recorded all the above. Apparently he has asked for a key before.

Yes - there is no innocent explanation here.

No - there is an innocent explanation.

What on earth should they do? My suggestion was to have a word on their return so they can gauge his response but my friend said that this guy has always seemed creepy.

OP posts:

HarriR · 10/04/2021 08:45

You are not being creepy. If he tried any doors he can still get charged by the police.

Foxglovesandlilacs · 10/04/2021 09:51

Are all mumsnetters married to big wimps? There are so many threads on here about situations with neighbours and I always just think “what is the man doing about this?!”

Claraoclara · 10/04/2021 10:18

Why did they ask you for a key? That’s suspect in itself. I think you should inform the police. They may have information about them that you don’t know. Maybe they have mental health issues or they are actually criminal. I wouldn’t say anything to them at all and certainly don’t inform them that they have been filmed. For either reason that’s not the best idea. Even if it is entirely innocent they should have told you when you got home.

Berrengaria · 10/04/2021 10:41

I would make a copy of what you've recorded and give it to him asking him if you are able to help him look for what he was after. That would be such an embarrassment that he has been found out....... Then again having a neighbour from hell it is best just to completely ignore him but keep the evidence just in case.

bemusedmoose · 10/04/2021 11:35

Why would you ask a neighbour for a key to their house!? That would have made me suspicious straight away! I'd be keep that footage and calling the non emergency police to ask for advice. Honestly - he will only lie if you ask him. He is clearly checking the place out and how to get in. Exactly why I never leave a spare key anywhere!

I would also be checking other footage - probably not the first or last time he's done it! I would probably fake being away and watch the camera from a house in my bubble and catch him at it.

OldEvilOwl · 10/04/2021 11:44

Are all mumsnetters married to big wimps? There are so many threads on here about situations with neighbours and I always just think “what is the man doing about this?!”

We're not all married!

Ddot · 10/04/2021 12:31

It could have been innocent maybe he heard something and thought he would investigate. But more likely he's a knickers sniffer and thought he'd try and find a key

GizmoBasil · 10/04/2021 12:38

Are all mumsnetters married to big wimps? There are so many threads on here about situations with neighbours and I always just think “what is the man doing about this?!

Not everyone needs a big strong man to save us you know

Berthatydfil · 10/04/2021 12:51

I get in contact with the police to say that the cctv had picked up the footage, explain what is shows him doing, tell them he has no permission to go into your garden, your cctv had not picked up any other disturbances or activity in the garden so in your opinion there was no genuine reason for him to be doing that.

Let’s face it if he did have a genuine innocent reason it would have been obvious ie going to pick up a child’s toy or ball or a blown over fence, dropped tree branches etc. If there had been an intruder or suspicious activity and he was checking your property was undisturbed it would be on the cctv.
Feeling nosey or curious about your neighbours home is not an genuine reason to actually act on those feelings and go onto their garden uninvited for a look around and that’s assuming he wasn’t actually looking for a key or means to get into the house.

As others have said if there is no evidence of any crime the police may be unable to do much but he will know you know what he did and if there is any repeats you have it recorded.

Berthatydfil · 10/04/2021 12:51

I would

Oceanbliss · 10/04/2021 13:30

I agree with posters who say talk to the police and at least get their advice. Do you have security monitoring companies in the UK? Find out how much that costs and next time they go away have the property monitored by a security company that would send a security guard over if the ndn’s trespassing triggers the alarm.

Siepie · 10/04/2021 13:40

@Foxglovesandlilacs

Are all mumsnetters married to big wimps? There are so many threads on here about situations with neighbours and I always just think “what is the man doing about this?!”

Are you a big wimp? Why do you need a man to do something about it.

Nat6999 · 10/04/2021 13:40

Leave something at the side of the fence that he will have to move to get over the fence, maybe some garden canes or a tray of soil that he has no option but to tread in when he climbs over, especially as he comes over at night. You could also mention that someone has been filmed climbing over the fence & the video is with the police as there have been some burglaries in the area & the police think it may be the culprit & watch him sweat.

Foxglovesandlilacs · 10/04/2021 14:10

@OldEvilOwl

Are all mumsnetters married to big wimps? There are so many threads on here about situations with neighbours and I always just think “what is the man doing about this?!”

We're not all married!

The op sounds like the friend has a partner. Partner/marriage/boyfriend, you know what I mean.

Foxglovesandlilacs · 10/04/2021 14:11

I don’t, no, but I couldnt respect any man who didn’t have the balls to go and sort something like this out. What a pussy.

Foxglovesandlilacs · 10/04/2021 14:12

Well the amount of threads on here by women who are worried about neighbours spying on them or taking the piss with parking etc says otherwise!

GizmoBasil · 10/04/2021 16:18

I couldnt respect any man who didn’t have the balls to go and sort something like this out. What a pussy.

Are you 12?

MumofBreck · 10/04/2021 16:44

Creepy

Ddot · 10/04/2021 17:08

My man is big and strong but I'd knock on neighbours door and ask him myself what he was doing. My house my problem.

Brindisi32 · 10/04/2021 18:27

@Hoorayforsunshine

I’m a bit confused by people who have said he’s just having a nose.

I get nosiness but...trespass and nosiness?!? Maybe this is a man / woman thing. I would never contemplate going into someone’s property (at the back!) to peek.

It is very nosey and very odd. Legally he's trespassing but hasn't caused damage or nicked anything. He would like the boundary fence removed and has asked for a key...Yes it would annoy and disturb me that someone would want that much access and is unconcerned about trespassing.

What do they know about this man? Does he have prior convictions/warnings for anything? Is he dangerous? Is he mentally ill? Can the police do much about this or do they need more evidence of intent to commit a crime?

MakeMathsFun · 11/04/2021 03:34

@mellongoose

I would innocently ask the neighbour what they were looking for in the garden. If they deny it mention the camera. Stare them out until they crack!

Too right Mellongoose.

It could well be that they do have a reasonable excuse that nobody has thought about yet. Perhaps they noticed your silence and were genuinely concerned for your wellbeing, checking through the window to check you weren't unconscious on the floor. Maybe they were just straightening things on the patio they thought their cat had knocked over. Maybe they loitered afterwards because they were indecisive as to whether to wait for you there or just go home. Jumping that fence might have been traumatic.
So talking with them first is definitely the right port of call.

chaosmaker · 23/05/2021 22:45

So was that a one off or did he do it again?

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