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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Weird neighbour behaviour what do I do

247 replies

Hoorayforsunshine · 08/04/2021 05:57

Posting for a friend who has shared vids from her security camera.

While they are away from their home (permitted travel), NDN has:

— jumped over the garden fence
—gone to the house to stare inside
—poked around items on the patio
—- spend a couple mins overall in the garden before leaving.

To me it looks like he was looking for a spare key/ way to get in while they were away. Don’t think he realised that they have a security camera which recorded all the above. Apparently he has asked for a key before.

Yes - there is no innocent explanation here.

No - there is an innocent explanation.

What on earth should they do? My suggestion was to have a word on their return so they can gauge his response but my friend said that this guy has always seemed creepy.

OP posts:
Suzi888 · 08/04/2021 07:11

@allthegoodusernameshavegone

Ask him, you were seen on camera on our property, was there an issue we should be made aware of.
^^ that. I would only go for a look if I’d heard or seen something strange. I wouldn’t jump a fence, if I saw damage, say a broken window I’d call the police. If the neighbours hadn’t asked me to look out for their property in their absence I’m not sure I’d do anything. Hmm

He knew they were away and came over for a nose basically!

ButIcantsitonleather · 08/04/2021 07:11

@FatCatThinCat

I don't think there is such a thing a criminal trespass in English law.
I thought it was only ‘aggravated trespass’ that was criminal in England and Wales. Could be wrong.

I’d personally ask him what he was doing.

Hey old is he? How old are your friends? Do they have kids?

zzzebra · 08/04/2021 07:16

I'd just ask him if everything was ok while they were out, did he notice anything untoward?.

It might be that he thought they were being burgled or in trouble or something. But if he denies anything then there is definitely something strange going on and I'd report to the police so that they have a record of it.

nancywhitehead · 08/04/2021 07:16

This is so creepy!

I would probably keep an eye and see if it happens again.

There's not much to be gained by confronting him at this point. As PP's have said he will just have some innocent explanation. If it's a one off, it could be explained by saying he heard/ saw something and was checking the house was secure etc.

Just keep the footage and if it happens a second time then you could choose to confront him about it or just tell the police.

I wouldn't put up signs about the CCTV. If you do this he will likely move onto someone else's garden and it's just transferring the problem. It's a lot better to catch him in the act and inform the police.

FlyingBurrito · 08/04/2021 07:25

@Hoorayforsunshine

Useless explanarion on the voting:

YANBU - no innocent explanation
YABU - there is an innocent explanation

And please post to explain what you think it might be!!

He knew they were away.

You don't have to give instructions on the voting, it's not compulsory Grin

If he knew they were away then it's less likely that there was an innocent explanation so I think a polite non accusatory initial chat is the best option. Maybe there was a valid reason for him to be checking but they'll never know unless they ask. If there's not at least he'll know about the cameras

WellThisIsShit · 08/04/2021 07:30

Humm, I’d get police advice.

I’d not get hung up on trespass being a non police matter (or limit a discussion with the police around that either) as the point is his behaviour isn’t just about trespass is it? If it was just about him stepping foot into the garden, your friend wouldn’t be so freaked out...

DasPepe · 08/04/2021 07:32

Leave a key ( which does not fit the lock) somewhere where he could find it. Make sure you record what he does

butterrcup · 08/04/2021 07:36

Id have to go ask why they was lurking around in my garden. Id want them to know that i know and that i will phone the police if it happens again. Doesn't matter if they're a neighbor i'd tell them straight not to go into my garden, peeking into my windows and looking around. What a weirdo!

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 08/04/2021 07:43

The leaving a random key is a good idea
Keep the footage in case of future incidents
security lights?

MrsTulipTattsyrup · 08/04/2021 07:46

There could, just about, be an innocent explanation - if the houses are attached, he could claim he heard noises in your friend’s house, and went to check they weren’t being burgled. This is, though, severely undermined by his previously asking for a key, which makes it sound like he’s nosy at best, and creepy at worst.

I’d go the route of asking him if anything untoward happened while they were away, not mentioning the camera, and waiting to see how he reacts. He might tell them exactly what I’ve suggested above, which could reassure them he did it for good reason.

However, I’d be very wary, as to me, it sounds more likely to be suspicious than innocent. Even if it’s just extreme nosiness, that’s something you don’t really want to have to live with. I’d be inclined not to let him know about the camera yet (as long as your friend doesn’t feel unsafe) to see if they can gather any further evidence, which might take it into police territory.

LongTimeMammaBear · 08/04/2021 07:47

Agree with previous poster, contact police now and let them handle it. I just wouldn’t say it were the neighbour. Id also tell the neighbour that they reported to the police someone jumped their fence, looking around and into the house and that they gained entry to the garden via jumping their (NDN) fence, that the police may come ask if they have had any problems with intruders or if they saw anything.

AbsolutelyPatsy · 08/04/2021 07:47

i doubt he would break any camera.
she needs to just ask him why

AbsolutelyPatsy · 08/04/2021 07:47

perhaps he heard noises

user1493413286 · 08/04/2021 07:49

I would go round and in a pretend innocent way ask if everything was ok because I’d seen him on my camera; he’ll give some kind of excuse that may or may not be genuine but it sends the message that he’s been seen

Lemmeout · 08/04/2021 07:50

Hide a dummy key. Say you are away for the night. Watch CCTV. Does it save to the cloud so you can log in and view anywhere ?
This situ is not going to feel good whatever the outcome. I’d look to move.

billybagpuss · 08/04/2021 07:52

Make sure they save the clip of the cctv footage.

Plant spiky climbers along the fence, pyracantha and climbing rose will do it.

It is worth logging it with 101 they often can follow up on things like this and can give advice to your friend.

Fatarseflanagan09 · 08/04/2021 07:55

Is there a reason why he thinks he should have a key?

PenguinBarnotBird · 08/04/2021 07:56

Did this all happen at the rear of the house? Jumping the back garden fence, looking for keys on the patio etc?

This makes it even more suspicious to my mind - it’s not like he strolled up the front driveway and looked in the window to see if he could catch a burglary in the act... all this done at the rear of the property and around what time OP, under cover of darkness?

EggysMom · 08/04/2021 07:59

The problem with the dummy key (whether handed to him or hidden) is that he'll claim he thought he heard or saw something, hence why he entered the house.

If it were me, I'd pop round and ask him if he saw anything because a couple of garden ornaments / bins / something got moved. If he says he saw nothing and doesn't mention the visit, follow up with "Oh well, I've got CCTV so I'll just flick back through the footage for the last two weeks, see if I can find the answer ..."

Thepilotlightsgoneout · 08/04/2021 07:59

I’m torn on whether to tell him there’s CCTV. It might make him more careful in whatever he’s doing and you lose your advantage OR knowing he can be recorded might be enough to stop him doing whatever he’s doing. Tough one.

Cowbells · 08/04/2021 08:01

Maybe he lost his cat? We once went away and the neighbour's cat had run into our house while we put suitcases in the car. It was trapped in our spare bedroom for a week. Luckily survived.

2Rebecca · 08/04/2021 08:04

The dummy key may just leave you with a knackered lock. I wouldn't mention it at the moment but would see if it happened again

AgathaX · 08/04/2021 08:06

Your friend really needs to let him know that he was seen in the garden. That in itself will probably be enough to warn him off doing it again in the future.

Whythesadface · 08/04/2021 08:09

It depends on if he knew they were away or not.
I have looked in neighbours windows, as they were old and ill.
The door was open, so I called inside, they had been on the floor for 3 hours.

saffire · 08/04/2021 08:10

Nosy git!

I'd ask him why he was in the garden and what he was looking for. I'd be suspicious that he wanted a key previously - having previously had what I thought was a very good friend go through all my stuff while I was on holiday I'm wary of giving anyone a key!

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