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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Weird neighbour behaviour what do I do

247 replies

Hoorayforsunshine · 08/04/2021 05:57

Posting for a friend who has shared vids from her security camera.

While they are away from their home (permitted travel), NDN has:

— jumped over the garden fence
—gone to the house to stare inside
—poked around items on the patio
—- spend a couple mins overall in the garden before leaving.

To me it looks like he was looking for a spare key/ way to get in while they were away. Don’t think he realised that they have a security camera which recorded all the above. Apparently he has asked for a key before.

Yes - there is no innocent explanation here.

No - there is an innocent explanation.

What on earth should they do? My suggestion was to have a word on their return so they can gauge his response but my friend said that this guy has always seemed creepy.

OP posts:
Goblin74 · 08/04/2021 09:50

Did the neighbour know your friends were gone?

The only explanation I can think of is that he didn't know they were gone, realised he hadnt seen lights on/ them coming and going and went to check in on them to make sure things were alright?

Although the fact he asked for a key in the past is a bit strange ...

MaggieFS · 08/04/2021 09:52

That is obviously not typical behaviour but there could be an innocent explanation.

Are there other neighbours who could have seen him doing this? Without giving the cameras away, I would say something along the lines of 'I gather you were on my property a number of times, what was the reason for that?' and then stare him out.

Bobbibruce · 08/04/2021 09:54

Leave an old or the wrong key under a mat or plant pot. See if he tries it in the door then you will really see what his intentions are.

This. From@Bogeyes. This is a great suggestion.

Bobbibruce · 08/04/2021 09:55

Don’t let him know you are on to him. Watch and wait for him to trip himself up again because he will. Also, when neighbour returns home she should always keep her doors locked even if she is in the house.

snackodactyl · 08/04/2021 09:57

Seconding all the suggestions to go straight to the non emergency police about this. Video footage can be shared and they can pop over and have a word with him about it. I’m assuming the camera is placed so that he can’t interfere with it in the future too.

And here’s me hoping for Desperate Housewives level of weird neighbour Shock

TinkerPony · 08/04/2021 10:01

I would report him to the police in case he has form. Hopefully the police could check if he have criminal record and pay him a visit. Dont let on there is camera it doing geat job catching him red handed so useful for evidence if anything happen later.
Definitely looking for a spare key.
Some alarms have siren sound alert that owner could press to spook or speaker to warn off.

Nocar · 08/04/2021 10:01

I would just ask him why he was in your garden, if there’s an innocent explanation then he will tell you. If it’s something nefarious then you’re marking his card for him.
Don’t see the point in keeping quiet about the camera, unless he can disarm it in some way, or the point of setting up dummy keys, what are you going to do if tries the key ? Avoid him in the street.
Maybe try the police for advice, but my first port of call would be to ask him.

thetemptationofchocolate · 08/04/2021 10:09

Maybe if it only happens the once it could be perfectly innocent. But if it happens again I'd be tempted to get a lifesize cardboard cutout police officer and put it where it can be seen through the back windows. Might give nosey parker a jolt.

Lollypop4 · 08/04/2021 10:09

100% call 101

toocold54 · 08/04/2021 10:10

Honestly some people are just nosey. I bet my mum would do this if she thought no one was in just to have a nose. However he could be looking for a spare key.

I’d be tempted to actually leave a spare key and if he uses it then call the police. Rather than give him a heads up.

RabbiTouch · 08/04/2021 10:15

My ex would have done that. I had to pretend to have an allergy to cats when a new neighbour asked if I'd look after theirs when they were away. I love cats and would have enjoyed seeing to them but I knew my partner would have been in having a look round at the first opportunity. Weirdo.

corcaithecat · 08/04/2021 10:15

I wouldn’t tell him about the camera. He might vandalise it before breaking into the house next time...

Audreyhelp · 08/04/2021 10:29

I think probably he hasn’t got much going on in his life and is nosey .
I think calling the police is over the top . Just mention you have security cameras and leave it . You have got to live next door to him .

BizzyBone · 08/04/2021 10:30

Speaking from experience, the police will do nothing.

When I was living in a flat share at uni, we had an issue with our neighbour. He would stare at us when we left the house (6 women), look over the fence, spend hours looking out of his bedroom window when we were in the garden. He’d randomly turn up where we were. Generally just make us feel really uncomfortable. We suspected he was coming into our garden because things were being moved about. We got a camera and we caught him coming into the garden every day between 2-3am. He was snooping around, looking into the house through the windows, trying all the doors and windows. It was obvious he was looking for a way to come in. Took it to the police who went and questioned him. He claimed to have heard noises and was investigating because he thought someone was breaking into ours! Police did give him a warning but it didn’t stop him. 9 months we put up with it but the police said they couldn’t do anything because we couldn’t prove harassment.

I wouldn’t let on about the camera. Question him and see what he says first and maybe use it to gather more evidence.

FortunesFave · 08/04/2021 10:45

@BizzyBone

Speaking from experience, the police will do nothing.

When I was living in a flat share at uni, we had an issue with our neighbour. He would stare at us when we left the house (6 women), look over the fence, spend hours looking out of his bedroom window when we were in the garden. He’d randomly turn up where we were. Generally just make us feel really uncomfortable. We suspected he was coming into our garden because things were being moved about. We got a camera and we caught him coming into the garden every day between 2-3am. He was snooping around, looking into the house through the windows, trying all the doors and windows. It was obvious he was looking for a way to come in. Took it to the police who went and questioned him. He claimed to have heard noises and was investigating because he thought someone was breaking into ours! Police did give him a warning but it didn’t stop him. 9 months we put up with it but the police said they couldn’t do anything because we couldn’t prove harassment.

I wouldn’t let on about the camera. Question him and see what he says first and maybe use it to gather more evidence.

I'd poured tar over the dickhead. Seriously...that sounds dodgy as hell! Peeping Toms go on to rape.
rc22 · 08/04/2021 10:54

My first thought was that he had heard a noise and gone to check everything was ok but then he'd have just walked round there and not felt the need to climb over the fence I suppose. Sounds a bit strange. May be wise to have a word with the police.

MotherofTerriers · 08/04/2021 10:55

If there is a local facebook group, post there to warn people that you've had an attempted break in and to make sure they lock up carefully. Post the camera footage there.

benorjerry · 08/04/2021 10:57

@dobidobidooo

My advice is say nothing and keep a recording and a close eye on neighbour for a while. Then go to police if needed.
I think I would be tempted to booby trap a few things on the patio or maybe put the video on the local website.
VanGoghsDog · 08/04/2021 10:57

Does she have his phone number? I'd be phoning him live as he was doing it asking why he was there.

bluebell34567 · 08/04/2021 10:59

why would he ask for a key?

WorraLiberty · 08/04/2021 11:02

I think the obvious answer is for them to show him the video footage and ask him what he was looking for?

Aprilshowersandhail · 08/04/2021 11:02

Print off a pic of him in the garden. Leave it on the fence in full view...

BeatBox6 · 08/04/2021 11:03

As PP has suggested, put an old key that doesn't fit the door under a mat. I would not be surprised if the creepy neighbour tries entering the house.

I can't believe how many people think this is/could be innocent?! If the neighbour honestly thought something was desperately wrong enough next to door to warrant climbing the fence and staring through the window, they ought to have called the police.

peak2021 · 08/04/2021 11:07

Whilst superglue or something very unpleasant for him to tread in seems attractive, I think 101 may be the best option.

Honeyroar · 08/04/2021 11:07

I’d just ask him if everything was ok while you were away as he’d popped up on your CCTV in your garden and looking into the house. That will probably be enough to keep him away if he knows he’s not doing it in secret.