Reasons my DH may end up under the patio...

[PringleMcDingle]

My top three...

1. He brushes his teeth with so much toothpaste that it ends up frothing and foaming everywhere. To wipe away this completely ridiculous amount of excess paste he always wipes his mouth on FRESH BLOODY TOWELS.

Every towel in our bathroom is covered in toothpaste. I swear on the odd occasion I've left something like pyjama bottoms on the radiator in there, he's pasted those too.

1. Instead of putting tea bags in the bin (which is right next to the kettle), he'll just leave them on the side or in something like a pan that's waiting to be washed by the sink. Why? Can someone, anyone, explain that to me?

1. Always asks me where certain items of clothing are without looking in his wardrobe. Or even worse, will ask me if he has any socks/underwear... Before just going to the sock/underwear drawer. I don't keep an inventory of sock availability... CHECK THE DRAWER.

So there, if you see me on the 9 o'clock news, you'll know that it was justified.

Do it, you know you want to.

Having a patio extension next week...pm me!

He’s breathing

Next to me 😡😡😡

The teabag thing!! I think maybe its so they dry out before you put them in recycling/the bin. But just leave them in one place! And actually get rid of them.

He breathes when he's asleep

His idea of tidying is to just move it to some other random place (this really really infuriated me)

He's tired. All the time

He's tired. All the time

Let me guess, no one is ever as tired as he is either?!

Eating my food

OK, devil's advocate here on #2. I do this because it gives the teabag chance to cool down. If you put it straight in the bin still steaming it causes condensation in the bin. I scoop all teabags into the bin when I do the washing up at the end of the day. But yes the other ones are definitely annoying.

@PringleMcDingle

He's tired. All the time

Let me guess, no one is ever as tired as he is either?!

No one sleeps as badly as he does ( ha ha I don't think so).

Oh no I do the teabag thing! And I have no idea why, my mum did it too so I do... DH hates it.

I will duly put myself in the bin 😏

My DH does the same thing with the toothpaste - nice clean towels never stay that way for long!

Re. the teabags, you need to get one of those teabag holders to leave by the kettle! Then you can train him to leave the teabags there so at least they are in one place and can just be tipped in the bin at the end of the say when they’ve dried out.

Mine shaves his stubble every single time I clean the bathroom. My lovely clean pristine bathroom then has little tiny black hairs all over the place. I find them stuck to the wall and everything!

Hahaha love this mine does all that you have mentioned in your post OP

But the one thing that grinds my gears when he gets his toothbrush and toothpaste out the cupboard to brush his teeth he NEVER puts it back in just dumps it on the sink.

Oh and asks me what's for tea everyday before breakfast

@Turnedouttoes

Mine shaves his stubble every single time I clean the bathroom. My lovely clean pristine bathroom then has little tiny black hairs all over the place. I find them stuck to the wall and everything!

The male equivalent of doing a massive difference poo in a fresh litter tray!

...

'Corrects' every single damn thing i do in the kitchen, even when he has no idea why I'm doing it

I don't where 'difference poo' came from...

Dont bury your DH under the patio. The slabs never go back properly.

@PringleMcDingle
I can help you with point 3. Do what my friend does, when her dh asks her where his boxers are, she says, deadpan, 'I'm wearing them'.

Also works with any other item of clothing.

@Thelnebriati

Dont bury your DH under the patio. The slabs never go back properly.

kudos

@MuddleMoo

The teabag thing!! I think maybe its so they dry out before you put them in recycling/the bin. But just leave them in one place! And actually get rid of them.

OK, you’ve got me... Why is it important for teabags to dry out on the worktop and not in the bin?

Not unusual mammy did it.
Do not clean up from him from 2 weeks today. See if he notices. If not you have a problem!!!!

@33goingon64

OK, devil's advocate here on #2. I do this because it gives the teabag chance to cool down. If you put it straight in the bin still steaming it causes condensation in the bin. I scoop all teabags into the bin when I do the washing up at the end of the day. But yes the other ones are definitely annoying.

Oh no! Condensation in the bin! And...?

Have you asked him why the hell he can't use water to wash away the toothpaste? And use much less paste?

@Turnedouttoes

Mine shaves his stubble every single time I clean the bathroom. My lovely clean pristine bathroom then has little tiny black hairs all over the place. I find them stuck to the wall and everything!

Yes WHY. Do they have some sort of “clean bathroom” spidey sense?! They actively seek them out and spit hairs everywhere. And no matter how often I mention it, his version of rinsing the sink off/out is absolutely nowhere near acceptable. He also doesn’t rinse the bath out when he’s done and he is a very VERY hairy individual.

I’m going to clip him this weekend. I’d say tomorrow but I’ve just washed the kitchen floor and the hoover has had a filter change so need to keep them nice for a while 🙈

DH is currently working in the dining room. I have a desk in the spare room. Every day I find crap on the desk or chair or both that needs moving before I can start work.
As a peace offering he made a cup of tea today. It was anaemic