To be so so upset and angry

[BroomHandledMouser]

We have - very tentatively - booked a self catering holiday in August. It’s a beautiful cottage, north Devon and yards from the beach. It really does look lovely.

I’ve booked it for 6 of us - 4 adults me, DH, mum and step dad and our two children. I booked it as a surprise for everyone, so once I’d paid the deposit I called mum and told her. She was beyond excited!!

She immediately put in her holiday request.

She’s just called me in tears saying that it has been rejected due to capacity issues. She’s NHS - she has worked all through this pandemic, not once taking any time off. All she’s asking for is 20 hours - 20 fucking measly hours.

I’m so so upset. I wanted to take her away and get her to relax, and breath, and repair.

We’re still going, but my god I can’t stop crying. I’ve asked her to appeal the decision, but at the moment she doesn’t have anything left in her.

YANBU, your poor mum. Hopefully she will appeal and get the time off.

That’s awful. Is there a chance they are not permitting holiday to be booked now but that will change once we know more about how things will be in the coming months?

It is sad, however I guess a lot of staff will be wanting time off in August, with it being school holidays.

Then cancel it, why would you still go knowing she is so upset?

Booking without asking for leave has always been risky. The chances of being able to travel to another area and stay with non household members are slim enough without the other factors.

I said that a lot could change between now and then. Fingers crossed someone will agree.

The rules in most NHS places is first come, first served. It sounds crazy but all weeks in August could have gone by now. The most popular weeks of the year are typically summer holiday weeks in July and August. Most places have a maximum of how many staff they allow off and won’t exceed that

I have learnt the hard way in the past, never book anything before you know you all have the leave approved. Had to change the dates on a trip to australia!

In most NHS situations all leave has been cancelled at the moment and I sincerely doubt that it will be the case via August. It is really early to request it so I think this is much ado about nothing! Most contracts say at least 6 weeks notice and given how far it is away and other pressing priorities arranging leave for August won’t be top of the pile.

I know it is awful but my experience of the NHS is that usually only staff with children were allowed annual leave in August. Also, Christmas leave was prioritised for those with children. As a grandparent going on holiday with children and doing the big family Christmas for children you are ignored by management.
Is it possible for your mother to ask what weeks she could take and you try to change your booking?

Find out when she can book leave, and either move the booking or find somewhere else.

She must be exhausted, but I don't knwo anywhere that will compromise coverage because someone booked accommodation /travel without booking the leave first.

@Fairystory that’s awful.

I’ll call her soon and see if we can work something out.

I thought that 8 months notice for 20 hours off was more than enough. Silly me!

Can she find out the reason for the ‘capacity issues’ ? As others have said it could be that others have already booked their holidays for the same time so that’s that.

Or it could be that they are not allowing any leave then or limited staff off at any one time. So that might change and more staff may be allowed off.

If others have booked to the max and she’s had it, at least then she could enquire as to what dates she could apply to get leave for.

Lots could change by then as you say, but if the usual number of staff have already booked that week then changes will make no odds if nobody else would be allowed leave then anyway under normal circs let alone now.

In which case you might be as well changing your holiday dates in line with what she can book just now.

@Honeybobbin it’s 20 hours! She works part time!

@countbackfromten it hasn’t been cancelled here (London / Essex) but people are being allowed to carry leave over to the next year. To avoid an annual leave nightmare between now and the end of March

@Fairystory l always avoid that! It’s first come, first served. Certain groups shouldn’t be prioritised over others, we are all entitled to our turn of Christmas off and summer weeks off

That’s a lovely thing to do and I know it’s really disappointing but I’m surprised you booked a holiday without making sure everyone could get the time off work first. Especially in an NHS job I do understand they can’t really let everyone have the same week off, there needs to be adequate cover. Is there a time your Mum can get a week off and you can rearrange for then?

Other people in this situation get signed off sick with stress or whatever, everyone does where I work. Half the department got signed of sick at christmas.
I don't believe in it personally, I just go in to work but its a thought.

You should not have booked it before knowing everyone could, and would want to go.

I thought everybody knew to get annual leave confirmed before booking a holiday. I can just about understand you being disappointed, but I don’t understand upset and angry as there was always a chance this would happen.

Could you swap weeks? Can she get any other dates?

TBH I think you set yourself up for a fall booking before she got leave sorted. August any year is difficult, but this year... we'll either still be full with Covid or trying to catch up with other things (please let this be the case).

I’m very sorry you’re disappointed OP but surprise holiday bookings for other working adults are not generally a good idea. Suggest you reschedule to a week she can do.

NHS annual leave can be booked 12 months in advance so people would have booked for this August last August!

@countbackfromten no nhs annual leave has been cancelled in my Trust.

@Fairystory that’s absolute rubbish. It’s first come first served.

Your poor mum. I hope you can work something out.

I didn’t think I was being unreasonable, very naive of me I guess in hindsight.

I saw an opportunity and took it, I just didn’t think there would be an issue with mum booking leave.

I’ll see if I can make some changes

This is not unique to her working in the NHS. Book annual leave, then book the holiday.

Doesn't matter if it's "only 20 hours" if there are already so many people booked off that they won't meet minimum staffing levels.

Are you expecting us to be outraged she's being treated fairly and normally? Or that she wasn't given special treatment for working for the NHS?

You can't be that upset if you were prepared to go without her.