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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so so upset and angry

220 replies

BroomHandledMouser · 16/01/2021 11:21

We have - very tentatively - booked a self catering holiday in August. It’s a beautiful cottage, north Devon and yards from the beach. It really does look lovely.

I’ve booked it for 6 of us - 4 adults me, DH, mum and step dad and our two children. I booked it as a surprise for everyone, so once I’d paid the deposit I called mum and told her. She was beyond excited!!

She immediately put in her holiday request.

She’s just called me in tears saying that it has been rejected due to capacity issues. She’s NHS - she has worked all through this pandemic, not once taking any time off. All she’s asking for is 20 hours - 20 fucking measly hours.

I’m so so upset. I wanted to take her away and get her to relax, and breath, and repair.

We’re still going, but my god I can’t stop crying. I’ve asked her to appeal the decision, but at the moment she doesn’t have anything left in her.

OP posts:
WhatKatyDidNxt · 16/01/2021 15:42

@iklboo exactly. Plus aren’t there other things keeping people busy in the NHS right now?

PrivateHall · 16/01/2021 15:44

OP your mum is bound to know how booking leave works in her area of work. In my place, we have already submitted requests for the next leave year (April 21-Mar 22) so it is now set in stone. To protect the service, there are restrictions on how many can be off at the same time, so the school holiday weeks are booked out for that whole year already.

I am sure your mum was bound to know this would be a problem.

Ithinkim · 16/01/2021 15:46

Just find out when she can go and change the date.

MacDuffsMuff · 16/01/2021 15:54

I don't effect blanket 'no leave in August' policies and look at the needs of my individual staff before I make my decisions.

Where on this thread does it say this is what happened @MurrayTheMonk? Apologies if I've missed that.

Are you able to answer the question that many posters have asked yet? What would you do if all leave had already been allocated and someone else asked for the same time?

gooseygooseywanderingfree · 16/01/2021 15:58

@Winter2020

Could you write to someone high up in the hospital saying what you have here. They might choose to pull some strings?

If she does get the leave granted she might have to take it even if you are not allowed to go to the cottage or mix as she might feel too self conscious to cancel.

FFS. Don't you think people high up in the hospital might have slightly more pressing things to worry about right now?

Sorry OP but you were naive. Especially this year. Her working only 20 hours is irrelevant. Her department will be arranged to function with those 20hrs, and if someone else has already booked time off, then there's no wriggle room.
@Fairystory it is definitely not normal in the NHS for people with children to get priority. I'd go as far as saying in some teams it's it made abundantly clear that having children does not entitle you to time off in summer or at Xmas!

rookiemere · 16/01/2021 16:04

You said it's booked tentatively. Is it available any other weeks in the school holidays and if so can your DM request one of those instead?

It is a bit silly to book a holiday without checking that everyone can make it and surely your DM wouldn't like to do her job if it was understaffed because the management let too many people take time off at once ?

VanGoghsDog · 16/01/2021 16:05

She's clearly looked into her crystal ball and counted the amount of agency staff who will be at her beck and call in August, no matter what Covid levels are like...

Yes......I wonder if agency staff ever request leave in August......

gooseygooseywanderingfree · 16/01/2021 16:05

@MurrayTheMonk

I am a care home manager yes. With outstanding rated homes. There is no way on earth everyone in that department has requested the same 20 hours leave. What is more likely is that the managers know that August is a pinch point and can't even be bothered to look at it properly.

What I do is look at everyone's requests fairly and consider what happened the previous leave year and what we can do to accommodate people. Both the NHS and care have to use bank and agency all the time-if that means timing it so that people can take leave to allow them to be with their family then fine-it's my budget to move around. I don't just simply say 'no due to capacity issues' for a leave request made 8 months in advance. Because that would be crushing to staff morale at a time when it's already through the floor. It's more Labour intensive but it also means my staff are happier and stay in post longer.
I've been doing this for 20 years and it's never been an issue but I'm sure all the high qualified people who have just said I'm stupid and shit, will tell me I'm wrong Smile Fortunately for me my staff seem to appreciate the approach and it's one of the reasons my staff turn over is relatively low-which in turn makes for more consistent care for my service users.

It's simply not true that all NHS teams have budgets to use bank and agency staff regularly. I'm a therapist, and we only use bank staff / locums when there is a vacancy, therefore using the standard budget. If we HAVE to use agency staff therefore more expense, rather than bank, it has to be signed off by higher management. Allowing everyone annual large at the same time is not seen as a reasonable reason to bring in agency staff, and if the team manager did this as a matter of course they'd end up being performance managed.
MrsGrindah · 16/01/2021 16:11

[quote BroomHandledMouser]@Honeybobbin it’s 20 hours! She works part time![/quote]
What’s that got to do with it? They still need to cover the hours.

Can’t understand why you are crying about it; you must have known you were taking a risk. Anybody who works has to book time off. And yes we all know the incredible stress NHS workers are under but that won’t mean that everyone will get the leave they want will it?

StormcloakNord · 16/01/2021 16:14

It really is shit OP. 20 hours isn't much in the grand scheme of things.

All you can really take from this is a lesson quite a few of us have learned the hard way!

Never book surprise holidays, something more than often goes wrong! Someone can't get time off/childcare issues/commitments etc etc

SchadenfreudePersonified · 16/01/2021 16:18

I think that they are being ridiculous!

Your mum should appeal and point out that she is exhausted to the point of collapse (she won't be the only one) and that she NEEDS this break

VanGoghsDog · 16/01/2021 16:19

It might "only" be twenty hours, but presumably that is her working week, and her hours are needed. I mean, people are not employed in jobs that aren't needed. So they still need enough hours in at any time.

As I said, she can always resign. If she's lucky they won't manage to fill the job and she can reapply after her holiday.

VanGoghsDog · 16/01/2021 16:21

@SchadenfreudePersonified

I think that they are being ridiculous!

Your mum should appeal and point out that she is exhausted to the point of collapse (she won't be the only one) and that she NEEDS this break

If in January she knows she is "exhausted to the point of collapse", then surely she needs a break now - so why is she asking for time off for this reason in seven months time??

Doesn't make sense, does it?

MrsGrindah · 16/01/2021 16:22

Your mum should appeal and point out that she is exhausted to the point of collapse (she won't be the only one) and that she NEEDS this break

Don’t be daft. It’s not that easy is it?There are thousands of people who NEED a break. Part of the pressure is because NHS don’t have enough staff as it is. Where would they magically get cover from to allow everyone who NEEDS a break to have the specific time off they want?

Brighterthansunflowers · 16/01/2021 16:23

Well yes it’s shit, but August is always a popular time for holidays and I would guess holiday capacity may have been reduced (not a blanket ban but fewer people allowed off than normal) given she works in the NHS and there’s a pandemic going on

It was very stupid to book anything before she had booked the leave.

Hopefully you can rearrange to a time when she can get leave.

Brighterthansunflowers · 16/01/2021 16:24

I agree that she may need a break, but there’s no reason that it has to be those specific days other than you foolishly booked something without checking.

And if she needs a break now (and I don’t blame her for that!) then she needs it sooner than August.

Hope4theBestPlan4theWorst · 16/01/2021 16:28

The leave issue doesn't seem to be very consistent across the NHS each trust doing something different

I'd tell her to appeal if people don't book leave they'll all be off sick with stress!!

gooseygooseywanderingfree · 16/01/2021 16:30

@SchadenfreudePersonified

I think that they are being ridiculous!

Your mum should appeal and point out that she is exhausted to the point of collapse (she won't be the only one) and that she NEEDS this break

This, and the comment about writing to someone higher up, really show the lack of understanding about about the NHS (and actually countless other organisations) work. Do you honestly think it's that easy?!
VanGoghsDog · 16/01/2021 16:33

@Hope4theBestPlan4theWorst

The leave issue doesn't seem to be very consistent across the NHS each trust doing something different

I'd tell her to appeal if people don't book leave they'll all be off sick with stress!!

A) there is no "appeal" in this situation. B) no-one is saying she can't have leave, she has just been denied those dates.
FourDecades · 16/01/2021 16:38

So rubbish for you OP Sad

I work for the NHS and we can book a year ahead.. so once I've had my February half term holiday, I'll book next year's.

It's first come first served and only 3 staff are allowed off at the same time.

Ours is all done via e-rostering so l can see what weeks are available.

CorianderBee · 16/01/2021 16:41

Tbf that's why you book time off before paying for something

RosieLemonade · 16/01/2021 16:44

I doubt holidays will be allowed in August.

GrumpyHoonMain · 16/01/2021 16:46

NHS staff have on / off rotas. Sure you know this already? If it’s important for everyone she come then book a day she already has off.

Viviennemary · 16/01/2021 17:01

Get a grip. You're not four years old. Cant stop crying?? Glad your not facing any real problems.

BooBahBoo · 16/01/2021 17:02

I've been burned by this in the past, but you really do need to check availablity of holidays then book the holiday. Doing it the other way around always results in someone not being able to come.