To be so so upset and angry

[BroomHandledMouser]

We have - very tentatively - booked a self catering holiday in August. It’s a beautiful cottage, north Devon and yards from the beach. It really does look lovely.

I’ve booked it for 6 of us - 4 adults me, DH, mum and step dad and our two children. I booked it as a surprise for everyone, so once I’d paid the deposit I called mum and told her. She was beyond excited!!

She immediately put in her holiday request.

She’s just called me in tears saying that it has been rejected due to capacity issues. She’s NHS - she has worked all through this pandemic, not once taking any time off. All she’s asking for is 20 hours - 20 fucking measly hours.

I’m so so upset. I wanted to take her away and get her to relax, and breath, and repair.

We’re still going, but my god I can’t stop crying. I’ve asked her to appeal the decision, but at the moment she doesn’t have anything left in her.

Disappointed, yes.

Upset & angry, no.

@ree348

That sounds awful, hopefully as things settle they may revise their decision from blocking people from taking their very well earned annual leave!!

How would you suggest they cope with staffing levels if they allowed everyone time off in August, because they've asked for it?

Life is to short, it might feel a horrible thing to do, and I haven’t done it myself but in this situation she should call in sick and say she’s not feeling well.

@Lavanderrose

Life is to short, it might feel a horrible thing to do, and I haven’t done it myself but in this situation she should call in sick and say she’s not feeling well.

that's disgusting.

Could she be 'ill' for a few days...???

Why would anyone within their right mind book a holiday before annual leave requests have gone in? You set yourself up to fail here OP. This is basic stuff.

@Lavanderrose it’s not a “situation” though. She’s been slow off the mark to book leave and been told no. The holiday can be moved lm guessing. It doesn’t have to be those days

You meant well OP.

August is a VERY busy months for holiday requests, including (BUT NOT ONLY) from parents who want to spend a little time with their children. I am not saying they should have priority, but it makes sense that parents tend to ask for August and not June or September.

It's unreasonable to expect for everyone to be able to have time off at the same time.

Yabu

This is not unusual in the nhs. Part time is irrelevant as only a set number in total are allowed off at any one time.

Please don't embarrass yourself or your mum by writing to management. How utterly cringe worthy.

That's shite but just find out what weeks she's allowed off and change the holiday dates?

I'm NHS and Christmas is never first come first serve, but the rest of the year is.

You say it's 20 measly hours, but that's her whole rota'd hours that week and they need enough staff in to cover them. I don't know where in the NHS your mum is but depending on department, they'll sometimes only allow one person in each role off at a time.

Sometimes People book annual leave very early in advance and then decide that they don't actually want those weeks much nearer the time. So it's worth keep checking the annual leave availability as a lot of people will do this. For example: They might book weeks for October, November, December 2021 now and then much nearer the time they decide they don't want it and unsubmit it which is a bit frustrating but it does happen.

all WhatKatyDiD - do you know, I’m not sure if anyone has made a grievance, I certainly don’t mind as I avoid going away in the school holidays, but in my department there is definitely an unofficial understanding that parents with young DCs get first dibs. The only grievances I have witnessed being between each other, but not often.

NHS staff here. My August holiday this year was rebooked for next year as we’re many of my colleagues so a lot of us have had August time booked off since July. There’s only so many of us that can have time off.

[quote WhatKatyDidNxt]@allthegoodusernameshavegone really?! Has no one opened a grievance about that? I’m not saying your liar but it’s not fair and l wouldn’t accept it. Just because l have no children then l don’t see why l shouldn’t have some time off July and August. My requests are just as valid as everyone else’s[/quote]
Absolutely. I am childfree and I would have a major issue if it was a rule that I was not allowed take leave during school holidays/midterm/Christmas etc. That’s discrimination on the grounds of family status. My plans are as valid as everyone else’s, irrespective of whether or not I’ve children.

[quote Sethy38]@BigBadVoodooHat

@Winter2020 advice was one of the most ridiculous pieces of advice I think I have read on mumsnet.

For the OP to contact “someone higher up” and see if they can pull some strings. During a pandemic. About annual leave.

I mean, where to begin![/quote]
This. Jesus, what fucking planet are some people on? I’m sure the OPs mum’s employers will entertain her heartfelt appeal for a wee holiday while the NHS is on its knees

Who books a holiday (during school holidays no less) without checking everyone can get the time off?

OP have you never been part of the workforce? Isn’t it common sense that school holidays are booked up well in advance?

My dn is a single man, no dc.
Every year he gets the worst holidays, not NHS.
All the married people with kids assume that dn doesn’t need or want a decent summer break. People with dc can be selfish arseholes at times.

Do you work, OP? I’m sorry for your disappointment but it’s pretty standard not to book anything before leave is confirmed. I hope you can find some way to make it work.

If it was a tentative booking, as you said in your OP, change it to the dates your mum can take time off?

She could always resign if the terms of her employment don't suit her.

I think it's pretty clear that the OP has never been in the workforce or she would have known that you don't book a holiday without having the annual leave booked first. It's just common sense.

She could get signed off with stress and exhaustion for a couple of weeks. Seems as though she’s worked her ass off and physically and mentally needs the break. So it would be above board as far as I can determine. How old is she? Can she retire soon?

It totally sucks and after the way things have been for so long I understand how she must feel. I But... I am public sector , (not nhs) there would be no chance of me getting leave in August now and this would be considered very late to book for the Summer-anything in school holidays usually gets booked up 12 months before. Does your mum not usually book in school holidays or was she aware that the chances would be low?

Erm - you said you'd be going anyway. No need to swear and get angry.
Summer holiday leave is booked well in advance. Not much you can do - move the dates.
In the middle of this pandemic thousands have had to cancel and move holidays. It's a bit over dramatic to be crying about it

Good intentions but really, those sort of surprise holidays are a bloody nightmare unless you’re a teacher and definitely off.