To be so so upset and angry

[BroomHandledMouser]

We have - very tentatively - booked a self catering holiday in August. It’s a beautiful cottage, north Devon and yards from the beach. It really does look lovely.

I’ve booked it for 6 of us - 4 adults me, DH, mum and step dad and our two children. I booked it as a surprise for everyone, so once I’d paid the deposit I called mum and told her. She was beyond excited!!

She immediately put in her holiday request.

She’s just called me in tears saying that it has been rejected due to capacity issues. She’s NHS - she has worked all through this pandemic, not once taking any time off. All she’s asking for is 20 hours - 20 fucking measly hours.

I’m so so upset. I wanted to take her away and get her to relax, and breath, and repair.

We’re still going, but my god I can’t stop crying. I’ve asked her to appeal the decision, but at the moment she doesn’t have anything left in her.

@Servus

This is tyranny. I’ve seen this a lot lately. Bad managerial decisions and complete neglect of human rights when it comes to employees. Family members have all suffered something familiar to some degree. I study human behaviour and I am quite worried by where this is heading. Its very demoralising. Humans need company, celebration, stable environment (especially children) and a reliable focal point and that is to stay calm and healthy. This cannot go on much longer.

Sure, we'll just let all the NHS staff have the month of August off shall we? I mean, they'd all love a break and to spend time with their families - so why not close the entire health service for a bit?

No company will allow more than a certain number of people to off at once, unless the entire business is closing (eg. over Christmas). I worked retail and we only allowed 2-3 people to book holiday at once. Otherwise how will the shop operate if there's nobody there?

It's not "tyranny" to check with your boss before booking a holiday - it's common fucking sense.

Why on Earth did you book it before knowing everyone could get the time off? It's your fault no one elses

Ok I think you need to find out whether this is a case of “others have already requested those weeks” or “we’re saying no to all leave requests at the moment”.

If it’s the former then there’s no chance and you will need to move the booking to whenever your mum can get leave. If it’s the latter then she may get permission once things (hopefully) ease up.

@iklboo

Could she be 'ill' for a few days...???

That would be a bit obvious wouldn't it?

You’d think. But according to a few Mensa candidates on here, it’s a infallible plan and will in no way be viewed as a suspicious coincidence

@Servus Um ... the OP is the who's angry? And you it seems. I think you need to calm down a little bit, you sound hysterical.

@Servus

This is tyranny. I’ve seen this a lot lately. Bad managerial decisions and complete neglect of human rights when it comes to employees. Family members have all suffered something familiar to some degree. I study human behaviour and I am quite worried by where this is heading. Its very demoralising. Humans need company, celebration, stable environment (especially children) and a reliable focal point and that is to stay calm and healthy. This cannot go on much longer.

So you'd be happy if in July/August and at Christmas, your local hospital shut completely, the local supermarket was only open random hours, no parcels got delivered, you electricity was cut off etc. because businesses gave holidays to whoever asked and they were then left with not enough staff?

@Fairystory

I know it is awful but my experience of the NHS is that usually only staff with children were allowed annual leave in August. Also, Christmas leave was prioritised for those with children. As a grandparent going on holiday with children and doing the big family Christmas for children you are ignored by management. Is it possible for your mother to ask what weeks she could take and you try to change your booking?

Really? I've never come across that in the NHS and it would be classed as quite discriminatory surely? If that's a particular managers decision then it should be challenged.

I see the hard of thinking are out in full force again.

Good intentions but yes done the wrong way round. You need to check available holiday dates with those people working and then book accommodations to suit the dates that work for everyone.

You have said that you’ve very tentatively booked the self catering accommodation so why not look at reworking the dates in line with those your DM can take off? But the peak Summer holiday weeks may well already be taken by other staff as people have pointed out.

I wanted to book a surprise 50th birthday Easter holiday for my partner in previous years but knew it would be foolish to do so without checking with him that he could take the time off prior to booking so no surprise element.

Sorry but august is peak holiday time in any bussiness . Can't believe you thought it would be ok .The fact it's NHS is irelivant .

Op, do you not work? Or maybe don’t appreciate the pressure the nhs is currently under?

Sadly, she needed to ask for the leave before you booked it. That’s really how it works for most employers.

I'd advise her to call in bloody sick actually... I'm a care home manager and we are under the Kosh right now. The lat thing I'd do is fuck my staffs morale even more by refusing holiday requests for august. People need hope. And they need time off.or they burn out.

So sorry to hear this OP.

How many hours does she work and does she HAVE to work for financial reasons? Does she like her job otherwise? She could consider handing in her notice nearer the time and having the holiday with you.

Some things are more important, you have to grab chances to spend with family when you can.

This is tyranny. I’ve seen this a lot lately. Bad managerial decisions and complete neglect of human rights when it comes to employees. Family members have all suffered something familiar to some degree.

Complete bollocks, of course. What do you suggest? telling one of the people who have already booked their leave that they can't now have it?

I study human behaviour and I am quite worried by where this is heading. Its very demoralising.

How are your grades?

@MurrayTheMonk

I'd advise her to call in bloody sick actually... I'm a care home manager and we are under the Kosh right now. The lat thing I'd do is fuck my staffs morale even more by refusing holiday requests for august. People need hope. And they need time off.or they burn out.

So do you let all your staff have holiday at the same time? Who looks after the residents when that happens?

I'm a care home manager and we are under the Kosh right now.

Are you, b'gosh?

@MurrayTheMonk What would you do in a case when all the available leave was already requested and given? Would you suggest she goes off sick and leave her colleagues under more pressure, even potentially putting patients at risk (depending on the role within the NHS of course)?

Oh no that’s awful, however I bet many people have booked for august already and they can’t spare her. In my job July, august and October are fully booked for holidays now so unless someone cancels I can’t take it. Just have to accept it and get in early next time even though it’s crap

@MurrayTheMonk

I'd advise her to call in bloody sick actually... I'm a care home manager and we are under the Kosh right now. The lat thing I'd do is fuck my staffs morale even more by refusing holiday requests for august. People need hope. And they need time off.or they burn out.

So, if they all asked for the same week, in order not to "fuck morale", you'd agree to them all having the same week off? Or you'd encourage them to commit fraud and lie about being sick when they are not? How would that work then? Who would be doing the work?

You sound like a shit manager. Maybe post the name of your employer so they can see this post and refer you for some training in common sense.

You can request a specific day off, if that will help? It's sometimes easier to get these approved than holidays. Sometimes if I have a hospital appointment ill request Wednesday off for example, then my usual 37.5 hours are done on every day except Wednesday. I've requested a Thursday and Friday off before and got them, then swapped my Saturday shift to be able to go away... it's not ideal, sending love your way. Is her ward manager approachable? I'd be talking to her about this, emphasising how much I needed that day off.

@MurrayTheMonk

I'd advise her to call in bloody sick actually... I'm a care home manager and we are under the Kosh right now. The lat thing I'd do is fuck my staffs morale even more by refusing holiday requests for august. People need hope. And they need time off.or they burn out.

How would you run your care home with not enough staff?

When I worked in the NHS everyone put in leave request for the summer holidays as soon as they was allowed to. There would always be multiple people turned down for leave for the holidays as only a certain number off people can be off at the same time. Was always the same each half term and over Christmas. First come first served, and people with children were often desperate for those dates off for childcare reasons. But people with children certainly weren't prioritised over those without. And this was a few years ago

Hahaha. Shit manager. Course I am. I've been managing care homes in the middle of a pandemic for the last 9 months and keeping my service users and teams safe. I've supported my staff through the worst possible of times. And I know that refusing even the prospect of a break -8 months in advance- can be soul destroying for staff-particularly as if the OP has said the woman hasn't taken leave for months. I'm not a shit manager precisely because I don't effect blanket 'no leave in August' policies and look at the needs of my individual staff before I make my decisions.

When I worked for the NHS a few years ago, August leave was booked up as soon as the leave year booking opened. So there wouldn't have been any chance of booking summer holiday leave in January for the same year, pandemic or not. You basically had to book 12-18 months in advance.
It was always going to be a risk booking a holiday without checking the work leave situation.

How far is the holiday accommodation from where your mumworks.
Could she come on the holiday and go to work from there?