Text made me so uncomfortable

[fleabagismyspiritanimal]

Long term user, name changed for this.

So, a while ago, my company got a new CEO. Nice chap, family man etc.
Sometimes works out of our office as more local to his home then HQ.

First time I met him I was dressed very casually, with my hair in 2 long plaits, some jokes were made. But office is very casual so no one cared.
Overtime he started to use me (I am the office manager) as a sort of PA, I'm good at what I do, and he valued my input and I figured, what the hell, possible career climb.
Comments kept getting made about my pigtails and how pretty I am. But I could never find anything inherently wrong and asked a guy friend who said he didn't feel it was inappropriate but more banter.

Cut to now. I've been furloughed for a few months. Office is starting to return.
Cue a text from said CEO, to my personal phone, saying "hi ---, hows furlough been? Missed your pretty face around the office the last few months..."
Second message slides in
"I have some policy I could use your input on, but only if you wear your hair in those pigtails...."

It's made me really uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable.
This feels like a step too far. It was one thing when jokes were made, and silly comments in company emails but this is my private phone.
I'm not overreacting am I?
I haven't replied yet.

I think there is a way to make HR aware (and get yourself on the record notifying them, should you need it) without 'going to HR'.

Simply screenshot the messages and reply to them from your work email. Be polite and professional, addressing everything except the inappropriate comments. Then at the end of the message say there has been some confusion about my contact preferences, I would like to continue using this work email address as my main point of contact, as I have been doing for work correspondence throughout furlough. HR (name), I've copied you in so you can kindly make sure my information is updated. Thanks all.

OP, this is totally inappropriate.
I agree that you should take advice from HR on this.

Annnnd this is a fucking zombie thread.

Won't someone please read the date at the top of the thread...

I think a message along the lines of "its inappropriate for you to comment on my appearance. Can we stick to work related matters from now on please" would get the message across loud and clear. If he still persists you have evidence that he knew you were unhappy about it

The first text wasn’t that bad, the second one was definitely not appropriate. You should pull him up on it, maybe say you don’t want to take it further but would appreciate if he could stop saying things like that otherwise you’ll have to report on, he won’t have a leg to stand on as you have proof.

Sorry, indeed I did resurrect a zombie thread to see if the OP would provide an update. Seems unfair that they start a thread, have so many people invested, and then disappear.

The most telling thing in this thread were the number of MNers who insisted females that are subjected to this type of behaviour should just suck it up!

Seems unfair that they start a thread, have so many people invested, and then disappear.

Irritating, but it happens.

Much less irritating than people who resurrect fucking zombie threads.

Much less irritating than people who resurrect fucking zombie threads.

diddums

it's not the bloody Jeremy Kyle show and no OP owes anyone anything - people post for advice not to entertain you

This honestly wouldn't bother me at all, it would just go over my head.

Here comes the big pile on about my boundaries.....

Here comes the big pile on about my boundaries

No, but maybe your zombie antennae need tweaking