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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to dislike having showers with your husband/partner

205 replies

4Smalls · 30/04/2020 18:50

Have never liked having showers with partners. This applies to husband (married many years) but also to previous boyfriends. I think the reasons are:

  1. Shower is the one child-free, quiet, contemplative time in my day.
  2. I have a lot to get through! Washing hair, conditioning, shaving underarms, etc.
  3. One person always seems to have to stand in the cold while other is under the water. Not comfy even if switch back and forth.

So, my question is: AIBU or do some of you also dislike showers with partner? Just curious!

OP posts:
Bertucci · 30/04/2020 20:29

We love a bath together, but showers? No.

GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman · 30/04/2020 20:29

One gets drowned and one gets cold, and I always end up bashing my elbow on something hard metal and bloody painful.

I always tell DH it's a stupid idea, and he always looks mournful.

RantyAnty · 30/04/2020 20:29

For a regular cleaning shower, no.

For a clean fun time shower, every once in awhile. Not the act part as it's not that safe.
The soaping each other hugging all soapy and slippery and stuff is pretty hot. giving each other suds beards :)

steggybigback · 30/04/2020 20:29

I can just imagine.....DH squatting awkwardly with his fucked posture and dodgy back....ferociously soaping up his arsehole whilst making small talk.

WaterIsWide · 30/04/2020 20:30

*We like to wash each other

Really? Like, really?

More shit than women are supposed to 'enjoy' doing for men

I think 'each other' means it's mutual*

Let me explain:

  1. Shower water nice and hot.
  1. We both get into the shower which is a power shower over the bath.
  1. I let the water cascade over my body.
  1. I watch the water cascade over his body.
  1. I squirt the shower gel into his hand.
  1. I squirt the shower gel into my hand.
  1. I put the shower gel onto his wet, naked chest and rub up a lather.
  1. He puts the shower gel (that he's warmed in his hands) on to my naked breasts, and works up a lather.
  1. I hold him close for the sensual experience of our wet, warm, soapy bodies pressing against each other.

  1. I wash his genitals.

  2. He washes mine.

  3. We then wash ourselves, including our own arse cracks. (I don't want to wash his, I don't want him washing mine.)

  4. I rinse off and hand him the shower attachment.

  5. He rinses off.

  6. We get out of the shower.

  7. He gets a towel.

  8. I put my bathrobe on.

It's a sensual experience, one of our love languages.

Beautiful3 · 30/04/2020 20:31

No way. Its the only time I get to myself away from the children, husband and dog! Nice to be able to shave and take as long as I want! I've only shared a shower once and it involved sex. I nearly slipped over and was in the cold bit. Never again!

Chillipeanuts · 30/04/2020 20:31

Good god no.

2Rebecca · 30/04/2020 20:32

No shower sex is rubbish and showers aren't big enough for 2. Showering is a solo activity

BarleylemonPenguin · 30/04/2020 20:33

same with water sex

Erm ...What’s “water sex”?

GreekOddess · 30/04/2020 20:33

It doesn't work unless you are the same height. There is only 4 inches between us and it's still logistically challenging. Tried it twice. Meh.

BingPot720 · 30/04/2020 20:33

Nah showers aren't that great together. I have fond memories of the first time I showered with OH, as it was the first time he told me he loved me. Not during, afterwards! The shower itself was mediocre but I have rose tinted memories of the whole day.

We love baths together though. Big tub with a bath bomb, he washes my hair and we just lie together for ages.

Sparklingbrook · 30/04/2020 20:34

All sounds a bit Jackie Collins that, WaterisWide. Grin

Butterbeeeen · 30/04/2020 20:35

The only time I have done this was when we were camping and in a shower block. The kids were in there too so not sexy or pleasant but convenient way to get washed quickly and out.

Redandblue123 · 30/04/2020 20:36

It’s because men wank all the time in the shower

HighOnStilts · 30/04/2020 20:37

Split my elbow open having sex with an ex boyfriend in the shower years ago whilst staying at a hotel. What was a sexy moment quickly turned into a murder scene.. 😆
Tried it occassionally with my fiance but find getting into a reasonably comfortable position is just difficult and awkward. We like to shower alone! Besides, I prefer a bath anyway!

bobstersmum · 30/04/2020 20:37

@wateriswide are you both drunk?

LagunaBubbles · 30/04/2020 20:38

We like to wash each other

Really? Like, really?

More shit than women are supposed to 'enjoy' doing for men

Oh ffs why is there always someone who tries to turn it into a poor we woman desperately trying to please a man scenario, a woman can't possibly do something like this for her own enjoyment eh?Hmm

Chochito · 30/04/2020 20:38

I quite like it and I love shower sex. But I wouldn't want to share normal showers every day. I am single (and super lonely in confinement) so probably rose-tinted on this...

WaterIsWide · 30/04/2020 20:38

All sounds a bit Jackie Collins that, WaterisWide.

I blame all the chick lit novels I read in the early nineties written by the late great Jackie Collins !

MrsJBaptiste · 30/04/2020 20:38

I wear a floral shower cap in the shower which isn't the greatest turn on...

TypingError · 30/04/2020 20:39

Wash each other? What is this fuckery?

Well, obviously in the first throes of lust I imagine. But even in the first throes of lust with my dh I'd have turfed him out of the shower. It is MY shower. I want to wash my bits in peace. And I don't want to watch him washing his bits.

I want some bits of mystery to remain. I want most bits to remain a mystery. In my case, my dh is 6' 4" and I'm 5' 2" so the height of the shower head would cause an immediate disagreement.

I once had sex with my husband in a shower, on holiday, and it was very uncomfortable and not very sexy, we both agreed. The floor and the walls were slippy and we were lucky to avoid injury.

Not advisable. I'd rather have a shower with no bones broken than a shower related congress that results in a fractured hip.

mirrormirroronthewalll · 30/04/2020 20:40

It's not for me either. Done it a few times with OH and I just feel claustrophobic and end up shoving him out the way. Shower sex has never gone to plan. I'd rather shower alone and so would he!

PipGirl404 · 30/04/2020 20:40

We shower together but mainly cause it saves time/water... plus we dick about and have fun so it's less sexual and more fannying around.

PrettyTricky · 30/04/2020 20:40

Awful. Not romantic or sexy, just awkward. Plus, he's a foot taller so the logistics are tricky. Also, if it's a functional shower and not sexy time, I really don't want to watch him wash his arse crack, let alone have to wash it for him. Grim.

Healthyandhappy · 30/04/2020 20:40

My husband once got in my bath when kids were still awake god knows why was fun acc but 10 yr old wasnt happy we were both in bathroom