to dislike having showers with your husband/partner

[4Smalls]

Have never liked having showers with partners. This applies to husband (married many years) but also to previous boyfriends. I think the reasons are:

1. Shower is the one child-free, quiet, contemplative time in my day.
2. I have a lot to get through! Washing hair, conditioning, shaving underarms, etc.
3. One person always seems to have to stand in the cold while other is under the water. Not comfy even if switch back and forth.

So, my question is: AIBU or do some of you also dislike showers with partner? Just curious!

Reason no.3 is reason enough not to do it! Brrr

God no. I'd do it with Adam Driver though.

Oh ffs why is there always someone who tries to turn it into a poor we woman desperately trying to please a man scenario, a woman can't possibly do something like this for her own enjoyment eh?

Because it's Mumsnet and the woman haters are out in force as usual. The only thing more hated that a woman who chooses not to have children is a woman who is in a mutually happy, functioning relationship. With a …….gasp.....whisper it...…..man.

I've never had a shower with my husband. We've been together 20 years.

Just threw up a bit in my mouth reading @WaterIsWide's post 🤢

DH has grand ideas of the both of us having a shower and it being great sex. In reality he is a foot taller than me and no position possible is going to be anywhere near erotic, more cirque du soleil gone wrong. It wouldn't be pleasant.

'love languages'? FFS.

If you have sex with the man, he's already seen you from angles and in situations far less dignified than anything you could do while taking a shower

Well yes. Nobody is saying that they're bothered about their partner seeing them in the naked state I don't care a jot about that. My husband has seen me give birth twice. So he's seen me from a lot of angles.

It's not about being seen. I don't give a shiny shite if my husband sees me naked in the shower. It's just that shower sex is not that good, risks injury, and I'd rather towel dry and do it in bed instead.

I don’t even want DH to see me in the shower. Obviously he sees me naked but that’s different to him witnessing me... scrubbing myself

We often stay in the Premier Inn Hub hotels when we go to London and, for some reason, the top half of the glass bathroom isn’t frosted. You can sit on the high bed and look right into it. We call it the Poop Gallery and we actually shook hands to agree that we’d never look in, even as a joke to pull a silly face or something

Our shower is also over the bath and the floor tiles are hard and shiny. In the fight to both be under the hot shower not in the cool Scottish bathroom I can easily see one of us toppling over the side of the bath and hitting their head on the tiles.

Isn't this a start of relationship thing. And you soon find out its a rubbish venue for sex

What's the point in all that sensual rubbing if you aren't going to have sex after?
Something like that could be nice as an occasional thing followed by sex but daily? Nah

Isn't this a start of relationship thing

Yes, and we kept it going. Just like our marriage.

*1. Shower water nice and hot.

1. We both get into the shower which is a power shower over the bath.

1. I let the water cascade over my body.

1. I watch the water cascade over his body.

1. I squirt the shower gel into his hand.

1. I squirt the shower gel into my hand.

1. I put the shower gel onto his wet, naked chest and rub up a lather.

1. He puts the shower gel (that he's warmed in his hands) on to my naked breasts, and works up a lather.

1. I hold him close for the sensual experience of our wet, warm, soapy bodies pressing against each other.

10. I wash his genitals.

11. He washes mine.

12. We then wash ourselves, including our own arse cracks. (I don't want to wash his, I don't want him washing mine.)

13. I rinse off and hand him the shower attachment.

14. He rinses off.

15. We get out of the shower.

16. He gets a towel.

17. I put my bathrobe on.

It's a sensual experience, one of our love language*

Anais Nin, eat your heart out.

Shower, sex in that order.
In the shower, because that's the only reason two people would shower together

What's the point in all that sensual rubbing if you aren't going to have sex after

Who said we don't ?

That's only one form of foreplay.

I barely like the shower spray touching me, let alone a person in there with me

Anais Nin, eat your heart out

Sorry. Didn't highlight.

I like it on occasion, but only as a fun place to have sex. It's not that great for actually getting washed. And it needs to be a decent, sturdy shower cubicle, shower-over-bath situation is a bit dicey.

I think in 12 years I've showered with dh a grand total of 2 times. First time for sex - probably the worst sex we've ever had!!!
Second time last year, I was in a rush and he was taking forever! So I jumped in and had a really unsuccessful wash

DH has just brought me a bowl of ice cream, I think that counts as a love language. No sensual rubbing with it as yet though.

Am I the only one who read the title as

AIBU to dislike having showers with your husband's partner??

& I was thinking err no your 100% not being unreasonable there..

hah...yes to the HUB hotels @amusedbush , see also CitizenM

...but at CitizenM they have a ipad that lets you fandangle with the lights, colours and brightness so I set DH free with that so I can get on with the essentials pre the obligatory Hotel Shower Sex

HUBs only let you dim and brighten the lights which is not nearly so much fun.

Isn't this a start of relationship thing

Yes, and we kept it going. Just like our marriage.

Salty!

To be honest everyone has their own love language and ours hasn't ever involved wanking one another off in the shower. Seems to be working pretty well so far.

ah...it wasn't just a stealth boast about how in synch your love languages are then? You were selflessly proffering marriage advice!

We have a massive double shower with jets & steam & all sorts. We use it together for sex but never wash together