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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to dislike having showers with your husband/partner

205 replies

4Smalls · 30/04/2020 18:50

Have never liked having showers with partners. This applies to husband (married many years) but also to previous boyfriends. I think the reasons are:

  1. Shower is the one child-free, quiet, contemplative time in my day.
  2. I have a lot to get through! Washing hair, conditioning, shaving underarms, etc.
  3. One person always seems to have to stand in the cold while other is under the water. Not comfy even if switch back and forth.

So, my question is: AIBU or do some of you also dislike showers with partner? Just curious!

OP posts:
JKScot4 · 30/04/2020 19:43

DH and I usually shower together. We like to wash each other. It seems lonely to be in the shower without him 🤮
possibly the most wet (pardon the pun) thing I’ve read lately.
Lonely? are conjoined twins?

TinRoofRusty · 30/04/2020 19:43

Very over-rated, same with water sex.

managedmis · 30/04/2020 19:46

We like to wash each other

^

Really? Like, really?

Confused

More shit than women are supposed to 'enjoy' doing for men

Fuck that for a game of soldiers, scrubbing some bloke

EL8888 · 30/04/2020 19:46

Hugely over rated. I hate being cold in the shower Confused

VenetoResident · 30/04/2020 19:46

I don't lock the bathroom door. We also have a shower in the garden (Italy). I hate it when I can sense someone is watching me and I open my eyes to see DH. It scared me in the garden today! I'm glad it was just him though!!!

Sparklingbrook · 30/04/2020 19:52

I have always liked a bit of social distancing when showering and I don't think DH would want me to wash him anyway. I am quite capable of washing myself.

Biscuit0110 · 30/04/2020 19:54

Erm, I am not sure what it would actually do for our sex life, with me shaving my bits and bobs, plucking out the odd stray hair, washing my hair in purple wash due to the lack of hairdressers and he coughing up a lung in the shower (WHICH I CAN NOT STAND)

We would be divorced in a matter of weeks.

There is nothing sexy about showering, it is slippery and dangerous, cold, with water in the eyes, and sopping wet hair, smudged mascara and a risk of a hip replacement if it goes wrong. No thanks. Please shut the door on your way out.

Polowithoutahole · 30/04/2020 19:56

Oh I should add about this shower-sharing-loving DP of mine, he was one of those guys who thinks women magically don't grow hair anywhere, so not only did I have to share a shower with him, I couldn't do any of the necessary shaving etc as it ruined 'the mystery' for him. Hmm

Biscuit0110 · 30/04/2020 19:56

ven

I hate it when I can sense someone is watching me and I open my eyes to see DH. It scared me in the garden today

That sounds quite creepy and voyeuristic, where you okay with that?

Banterlope · 30/04/2020 19:57

We like to wash each other

Really? Like, really?

More shit than women are supposed to 'enjoy' doing for men

I think 'each other' means it's mutual?

Biscuit0110 · 30/04/2020 19:58

polo Yes, women without function - no wind, periods, sweaty bits or real hair. He needs a blow up doll not a real dp.

vanillandhoney · 30/04/2020 20:00

DH and I have done it a few times - always in a posh hotel and it's always involved him getting out first so I can wash my hair properly Grin

Definitely wouldn't try it in our tiny shower over the bath!

nowaitaminute · 30/04/2020 20:02

No we're not shower ppl but we will have a bath together! It's nice to relax and chat in the bath 🤣

Polowithoutahole · 30/04/2020 20:04

Agreed - one of the many reasons I dumped him Biscuit Wink

FireandFury · 30/04/2020 20:06

We’ve got and had a double shower for years so we occasionally shower together. I don’t really prefer sex in the shower, it’s rather difficult but we sometimes try if the mood takes us.

bobstersmum · 30/04/2020 20:09

Fucking hell I can't think of anyone in the world I'd want to share a shower with, I'm so glad I don't have to do this.

MadCattery · 30/04/2020 20:15

We shower together every time. When we had our bathroom redone, we had the shower head moved to the center of the ceiling, and a rainfall type shower head installed. He has his stuff on one side, I have mine on the other, room for both of us. He scrubs my back, and it works for us.

EC22 · 30/04/2020 20:16

House showers YANBU
Fancy hotel showers YABU

dazzlinghaze · 30/04/2020 20:18

I like it! We only really do it after sex and I like getting my hair washed with a wee head massage thrown in for good measure Grin we wash our own bodies though.

Greenpop21 · 30/04/2020 20:19

Over a foot difference in height=bad shower sex.

user1487194234 · 30/04/2020 20:20

Occasionally for sex but otherwise no

Crunchymum · 30/04/2020 20:22

@WaterIsWide

I'll assume you're taking the piss.

If not that is one of the most nauseating thing I've ever read.

TypingError · 30/04/2020 20:23

DH and I usually shower together. We like to wash each other. It seems lonely to be in the shower without him

Saves money I suppose.

ladybee28 · 30/04/2020 20:24

This thread is giving me a good chuckle Smile

DP and I will hop in the shower together in the mornings a few times a week – and yes, we'll chat, and wash, and giggle about slipping past one another.

Sure, bits need to be washed, but if that's happening you just don't look at it – nobody's forcing you to sign a witness statement afterward.

If I need to shave or do anything that requires more space or time, I'll do that on the other days I'm showering alone. But if all you're doing is having a wash... why all the horror?!

If you have sex with the man, he's already seen you from angles and in situations far less dignified than anything you could do while taking a shower Grin

steggybigback · 30/04/2020 20:27

Fuck no, a whole new level of grim imo.