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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Some people enjoy patronising and depressing others

999 replies

Esprohuy · 25/04/2020 13:11

Clearly everyone is having a different experience of the current situation. It seems to me from the posts here and elsewhere that MN is full of people searching for threads from people either asking genuinely when others think the restrictions may be reduced, or people expressing mental or emotional.distress due to being locked away, sometimes alone. The pattern is the OP posts, there are a couple of sympathetic/in the case of lockdown speculation dovish opinions then the Depressor swoops, usually with a formulation along the lines of:
If you think these restrictions will be lifted anytime soon you are a naïve fool. Christmas will be cancelled and things will never fully return to normal

In the threads expressing mental distress their standard formulation is a variety of:
FFS pull yourselves together. It's been (insert number) weeks, how the F do you think people coped in the war the. All you are being asked to do is stay in and watch Netflix

There seems to be a remarkably large number of people among this cohort who claim grandparental involvement in WW1/2 and have a partner/sibling serving as a front line NHS worker. These depressors seem to scour MN looking to pounce on people expressing povs like the above.

OP posts:
Orangeblossom78 · 02/05/2020 09:40

The positive thing is that when restrictions are lifted it will be lovely and quiet because all the doomsters will still be staying at home I suppose (I don't mean the ones who really have to here) so we don't have to see them.

On the 'old people should stay in forever' I had a springily positive response to this one a few days ago. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3890390-I-agree-with-this-article-on-older-people

Basically saying they who'll have the choice as to what they do and not to just tell them, nicely written article by Janice Turner.

Orangeblossom78 · 02/05/2020 09:41

surprisingly, not 'springily'!

BarkandCheese · 02/05/2020 09:51

I found this gem on a thread about possibly emigrating in the future.

If it gets you out of the uk then go for it
‘Uk well England is heading for third world status. No more than they deserve. Absolute dump. Get out if you can*

What kind of mentality do you have to have to both write and believe that? It’s both dementor behaviour and insulting to everyone who lives in England. I didn’t challenge it because it was completely ignored by all other posters on a thread that’s mostly a sensible discussion on the pros and cons of emigration.

BirdieFriendReturns · 02/05/2020 09:52

I’ve read on another post that “we will be living like a third world country.”

Waxonwaxoff0 · 02/05/2020 09:52

Orange agree! All the people who won't be going to restaurants, pubs, events will mean it's lovely and less crowded for the rest of us Grin

I'll join a new thread.

Drivingdownthe101 · 02/05/2020 09:52

I saw that. Nearly posted a reply then decided there was no point. No reasoning with dementors.

Muminho · 02/05/2020 09:55

Not RTFT but I definitely have dementor-ish tendencies so this discussion has been quite good for me. Clinging to the fact that I've taken the DC to Disneyland not once but twice as evidence that I'm not a total joy sucker. Jury's out though!

iamapixie · 02/05/2020 09:56

New thread would be very welcome. I feel like I'm going mad with the goalposts changing the whole time to fit around other people's obsession with staying locked down forever.
Orangeblossom: agree re the issues you raise about women. One of the things that I find very difficult in all this is that I have a horrible feeling that it may be women who are being disproportionately anxious - and in a world where we were already seeing a backlash against feminism from neo-cons etc. I hope I'm not seeing straight because I'm just so despondent at the moment but I think regardless of whether I'm just being an unsupportive cow about fellow females, there are very serious social political and economic consequences to this which will clearly affect equality of opportunity.
Would also welcome a thread on wildlife etc. Obviously we won't be allowed to care about that issue, what with people dying and all that, but still...

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 02/05/2020 10:00

I'm up for another thread
I've been feeling pretty low due to a chat with a friend last night who has surprised me a bit in her dementor tendencies but she has had a rough time recently and is a healthcare worker so I'm trying to cut her some slack but I think I need to step back from her a bit as she isn't doing my sanity any favours

BirdieFriendReturns · 02/05/2020 10:05

I posted on the Coronavirus tracer app thread...okay so I need to buy a smartphone to use the app yet I keep being told on Mumsnet that I’m not allowed to buy anything and that milk isn’t deemed essential on here. (See the post regarding adding cheese to coffee.) So if I can’t buy milk in a shop I can’t possibly buy anything as frivolous as a mobile phone right?

So how can I get a smartphone so that I don’t kill old ladies from not having the app BUT going shopping or having a delivery means I’m also murdering retail workers or warehouse people or delivery drivers?

Arghhhhhhh!

fartingsparkles · 02/05/2020 10:07

Definitely looking forward to a new thread! This one has really kept me going. I am naturally a 'glass half full', but without this thread to come to for a bit of sanity, the ♟would definitely have brought me down. Don't get me wrong, the situation is terrible, but to think (nay, hope) it will always be like this, or even still worse, is a horrible way to live. And it's even more horrible to go round actively spreading this unpleasantness.

Who has seen the 'taking any on walks' thread? I can't decide if its acute anxiety or just thorough ♟, and fear it's the latter.

Willitneverend · 02/05/2020 10:07

There's a businessman called Simon Dolan who has started a crowdfunder for a legal challenge to lockdown. The dementors on Twitter (Twitter seems particularly bad for them) are going absolutely mental with loads of the tropes mentioned on this thread.

Orangeblossom78 · 02/05/2020 10:10

Nearly ten messages left we need to think of a new one...just post the icon (I still can't find it on my mac) and I'll look for it and join you all...

PhilSwagielka · 02/05/2020 10:26

Re Italy: I remember seeing Italians warning Brits, 'don't be like us' and talking about how badly Italy handled the coronavirus outbreak at first.

AnxiousElephant77 · 02/05/2020 10:31

I think Beth Rigby is probably the altar they worship at. New thread, please, this is all that's keeping me going this morning.

OutwardBound2016 · 02/05/2020 10:32

There is now a thread about football and just because the poster doesn’t like it they fail to see how it could bring some people a bit of joy. I have genuinely come to the conclusion that some people will not be happy until we are living in tents, eating porridge and drinking water until 2040, only then will we have experienced ‘real lockdown’! My kids are desperate to get back to their sports and clubs because it brings them joy, they have been great about everything stopping but I do not accept that they should be denied any fun FOREVER.

AnxiousElephant77 · 02/05/2020 10:41

I'm a big Liverpool fan and I haven't got the energy for that thread.

Orangeblossom78 · 02/05/2020 10:51

The one about deprivation and poverty is typically turning into a debate about where poor people deserve to be poor etc etc as you can imagine. Sad

Orangeblossom78 · 02/05/2020 10:53

Only 5 posts left, should we just start a new one with the same name perhaps or move to chat to reduce drama? I'm worried MN might move it into the virus section we don't want that really

DianneWhatcock · 02/05/2020 10:55

@Orangeblossom78 my vote would be chat as well x

AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter · 02/05/2020 10:58

Oh please dont let this thread end! I'll have to leave MN- this is the only tiny corner of sanity and fun on this whole site (apart from style and beauty etc).

My predictions are that the dementors will ramp up the hysterics again next week once Boris starts talking about an exit strategy- cue lots of posts about how he doesnt care that PEOPLE ARE DYING, and that we should all stay in lockdown even if its eased because anyone who wont DOESNT CARE THAT PEOPLE ARE DYING. Then it'll be more guff about how we are the worst country in existence, PEOPLE ARE DYING, every other country has it perfectly except us, how the UK will become third world and we'll have to be delivered gruel by the military and we'll be on ration books before the summer is over and why arent people building "covid bunkers"? because PEOPLE ARE DYING.

Please make another thread 🙏

Orangeblossom78 · 02/05/2020 11:00

Ok as it is ending now I'll start a new one in chat with the same title...hope the OP doesn't mind, otherwise we might lose it which would be a shame. See you there!

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