Some people enjoy patronising and depressing others

[Esprohuy]

Clearly everyone is having a different experience of the current situation. It seems to me from the posts here and elsewhere that MN is full of people searching for threads from people either asking genuinely when others think the restrictions may be reduced, or people expressing mental or emotional.distress due to being locked away, sometimes alone. The pattern is the OP posts, there are a couple of sympathetic/in the case of lockdown speculation dovish opinions then the Depressor swoops, usually with a formulation along the lines of:
If you think these restrictions will be lifted anytime soon you are a naïve fool. Christmas will be cancelled and things will never fully return to normal

In the threads expressing mental distress their standard formulation is a variety of:
FFS pull yourselves together. It's been (insert number) weeks, how the F do you think people coped in the war the. All you are being asked to do is stay in and watch Netflix

There seems to be a remarkably large number of people among this cohort who claim grandparental involvement in WW1/2 and have a partner/sibling serving as a front line NHS worker. These depressors seem to scour MN looking to pounce on people expressing povs like the above.

LOVE dementors

I love you @BogrollBOGOF, you do the best hyperbole. 🤣

suppose all the toxic mothers/ MiLs/ shit bosses and playground/ staffroom bullies have to do something with their time while sitting pent up in the house of their own free choice, inbetween naming and shaming neighbours for improper clapping and walking the dog twice
Absolutely brilliant

I've seen this revelling in misery very clearly on a couple of local Facebook groups (not in UK, so restrictions slightly different), especially one dedicated to 'flattening the curve'. You can see them wetting themselves with excitement every time a potential improvement in the situation turns out to be a false hope. They positively salivate at every opportunity to spread bad news or to promote the latest scaremongering media report. Also, the hypocrisy. One particular friend who has spent the last 6 weeks reminding everyone very aggressively to STAY HOME then organised a drive-by parade for her son's birthday...

You can see them wetting themselves with excitement every time a potential improvement in the situation turns out to be a false hope.

Yes, I think there's a lot of this on MN and I find it really distasteful. If anyone says that the numbers are looking more promising or offers any other ray of hope it gets torn apart, and positive numbers are scrutinised to death and found wanting but the worst case ones are accepted without question. What I find distasteful isn't people disagreeing with anything positive - obviously that's fine, if they think it's wrong - it's the obvious glee and excitement for this to be as bad as it can possibly be.

IMO it has exposed a huge need for the Depression Revellers (DRs while I think of another name) to be called out. The people on these FB groups for example who stalk them trying to shoot down any signs of optimism with the artillery of Chris Whitty statements, of "you're having a laugh of you think this is going anywhere by Christmas". I spotted one just now on a Coronavirus thread about wizzair opening flights:
Are you all on glue?

Note the brevity ( this was all they posted) and "alone in the trenches facing the grim truth" self regard. The accusation and slightly dated and 80s teenager metaphor. I can just imagine their excitement building as they read the thread title, then choosing their moment carefully to unleash their hand grenade into the party, then getting out a celebratory glass of wine and their pulse racing with every notification of a posting afterwards, the joy in the sense of righteousness, the ecstasy of feeling the sense of deflation of what they see as childish expectations of a chink of light. I'm sure there are many other examples ripe for dissection on here.

I like this thread.
My boss is one of these people. Keeps telling us how lucky we are to work where we do even though we've had a pay cut and are all at breaking point with how busy we are. Anyone who says anything untoward against the company or situation is deemed an idiot for not understanding it as well as she does and should be grateful our company is so well prepared.

OMG OP- you are SPOT ON.

Ive noticed this too and its so bizarre to me.
Ive noticed that some people really seem to be wanking to the idea of a stricter lockdown that will last until at least 2022. If you dare suggest the country hasn't got enough money to do that you get told you're a "murderer" who clearly wishes death on people. Never mind the fact that no other country is planning this or that its completely and utterly unrealistic. I reckon its these same people who want everyone to be as miserable as possible during lockdown- hence buying a curly wurly with your weekly shop clearly means you want people to die. Having a sip of water when out walking means you want people to die, I suspect they also think going to work as a key worker is also selfish and "you want people to die" lol

Its utterly bizarre. I cannot get my head around this idea that unless we are all totally miserable lockdown "wont work". Its very clear to me that these are very miserable, bitter individuals who dont experience any joy in their own lives and so get some twisted satisfaction from the idea that we should all be as miserable as them. Of course they cover up this real intention by pretending theyre coming from a noble and selfless stance of not wanting people to die. But its all BS- they just enjoy and are really getting off on scolding people and judging people and having them be as miserable as humanly possible.

@BogRollBOGOF

I cackled at your post- its so realistic its scary

I wonder if people realise, or care, that the negativity, doom and scaremongering, has such an impact on people whose mental health is fragile, that they might never recover.

Brilliant post Alexis. I loved the curlywurly line. Perhaps there is also a sliding scale of frivolousness of snack which correlates directly to how many you want to die. So the purchase of any condiment such as spices equals 10,000 deaths. A packet of Doritos or the appallingly selfish Curly Wurly with its lockdown breaking air bubbles is 20,000. I dare not even mention those murderers who would be seen publically with non vanilla ice cream...
As for the dragging people down thing imo it is purely and simply a question of control. People with no feeling of control over their own lives seek to exert this control over others. I've seen this as a resident of rural Ireland in the different context of the strange and often unremarked upon phenomenon of older devoutly Catholic, and miserably celibate older relatives trying to control (=eradicate) romantic/sexual lives of younger adult relatives..the talibanesque gender segregation (thankfully largely ignored now) that the Catholic Church especially in rural Ireland used to impose...
But yes Curly Wurlies...The bastards!!!!!

Yep, some unpleasant, unhelpful, unsupportive people around now. People are rabid at the moment.

@alexis hilarious!

I also think some people likes us to know just how damn superior they are. For example my boss apparently knew the schools were closing before the schools did. It was blindingly obvious and our industry (which has nothing to do with education I may add) was "tipped off by Whitehall". Well wasn't obvious to my headteacher friends who had been told no all day and found out when it was on the news! I did actually laugh when she made that statement.

Perhaps there is also a sliding scale of frivolousness of snack which correlates directly to how many you want to die

I really think you're on to something there!

Curly wurly- 20,000 deaths
Bottle of chardonnay- 30,000 deaths
Quorn sausages- 3.7 deaths (should be at least 100 but because its vegan you get extra points for not destroying the planet and wanting the planet to die like the selfish arse you clearly are)
Small box of celebrations chocolate- 50,000 deaths
Large quality street tin- 100,000 deaths
Haagen Dazs - caramel collection ice cream- you may as well change your name to Adolf and grow a moustache because you're totally Hitler or some other mass murdering genocidal dictator

Do you think Dementors know they are Dementors? I wonder this. Especially on the real "read the room" comments where it's so wildly off from the previous conversation.

Do you think Dementors know they are Dementors

Ive wondered this and I dont think they do. I think they read the 98% of sensible and rational posts and just get more and more infuriated that noone can see it from their perspective. Thats why they lash out in fury and rage that noone is adopting the OTT view that they do. I imagine them at work being really bewildered why they never get invited out to work events or why their family doesnt visit them that often, in their mind instead of questioning if the problem is with them it just establishes an even firmer and stronger belief that everyone else is WRONG and they are the only right ones.

Maybe I'm wrong and they do it on purpose knowing its unreasonable but its the conviction some people have that makes me think they are just completely and utterly incapable of self reflection, which if you think about it, is a VERY important skill.

Loved Alexis's post. Yes Haagen Dazs is no question an indicator of genocidal intent. I won't even mention the name of a costly American ice cream brand known for jokey punning names...
Excellent point on whether Dementors know they are Dementors. Well for me the fact that none of them have shown up here and said "yes that's me actually. I have been scouring MN for hopeful posts so I can empty my bladder of negativity and self-righteousness on them. I have a boring and miserable life and I get great joy and almost orgasmic pleasure from going around deflating other people's hopes because it makes me feel a bit less worthless" demonstrates that they don't. But, armed with the knowledge this thread has provided and the identifying name Dementors surely we can now go around calling them out, perhaps direct some of them here so they can see themselves being called out.

I work with a Dementor and she definitely has no idea she is one. She will say things like 'I'm a person who doesn't like to moan and just quietly gets on with things' or 'you know me, I always try to make the best of things' which are so black-is-white, jaw droppingly untrue that no one knows what to say. She absolutely lacks self-reflection, as Alexis says. She is also very competitively miserable, but genuinely believes that everything is worse for her than anyone else.

I think some Mumsnetters are getting off on this. They honestly believe that by them saying “STAY INSIDE” people will do what they say.

Some of them actually went people to ask permission before going shopping! I had to go to the supermarket twice in one day as my period started unexpectedly. Somebody told me I was selfish and I should make my own pads from an old bed sheet.

Of course, I went to the shop anyway! 🤷🏻‍♀️

Hahaha I commented on a post a few weeks ago under another name about that buying a Curly Wurly with my shop wasn’t a sign of murderous intent.
This thread is so accurate.

I like this thread, it's so true, the competitive misery the inability to be positive about anything.Even being logical positive news is just as likely as negative news but no everybody will die if you are happy.
But have you noticed that simultaneously, whilst feeling lockdown should continue to 2022,you should also be making quality memories with your family,whittling a rainbow from lollipop sticks,although lollipop sticks may be too frivolous.
I have also noticed they always have relatives on the' front line' who share how horrific it is constantly. My brother is a nurse and works in a covid ward( about half full with plenty of PPE) and he says hes a nurse so expected to work with sick people.

I have also noticed they always have relatives on the' front line' who share how horrific it is constantly. My brother is a nurse and works in a covid ward( about half full with plenty of PPE) and he says hes a nurse so expected to work with sick people

Yes I have noticed this. I have quite a lot of friends and family who are on ‘the front line’ so to speak. They’ve all said yes it’s busy, yes it’s stressful, but that looking after ill people is what they trained to do.

Yes I totally get that. I posted about how we'd missed the scheme from the gov (grant thing) and instead of any empathy or others in the same boat got a stern telling off - it's not pleasant. In fact it reminds me of growing up and my NC mother so it can be a bit triggering.

AIBU has always been feisty, but has become more of a bear pit recently. Also, the general unpleasantness seems to be taking root in Chat.

I suspect dementors aren’t self-aware, whereas the Arsehole Squad are very much so, and revel in putting the boot in.

If MN is serious about selling subscriptions, a ‘hide/mute poster’ would have people queuing up to subscribe.

I think it might be a form of projection, which is where someone feels bad therefore wants others to feel bad too. Maybe they feel worse due to this situation and it has got worse also.

Wikipedia describes it as shame dumping which sounds very accurate!

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection