Children's comments that cut you deep (light hearted)

[MakeItRain]

I was off sick recently with flu, and when I finally went back to work (I teach young children) a child in my class happily said "oh, you're back. I thought you were dead!" She didn't look all that bothered either 😭 Luckily I did also get a lot of hugs from others in my class.
AIBU to ask what's the most forthright comment a child has ever made to you?

I was 8+ months pregnant with my daughter, and my son was 2 years old. We were laying down for a nap facing each other, and we were hugging. I thought he had fallen asleep, but he suddenly said, "Mummy, you're HUGE." All I could do was laugh because it was true!

My youngest DD (3) likes to collect play food onto a small tray and bring it to you singing happy birthday. She did this at nursery, and then told her key worker "it's mummy's birthday soon". Key worker asked her how old mummy would be, to which she replied "300. That's really really old".

“Mummy.....why is your hair black in the middle?”

I’m a bottle blonde....

Thanks for making my birthday cake Mum..... Next year can you make it with some taste 😂

Visiting my parents, we passed where I used to catch the bus to school, and pointed it out to DDs.
6yo looked at it in amazement and said "they have bus stops THAT old?!?"
I'm only 33....

My 3yo said "mummy you look really nice today... you haven't looked this nice since before (brother) was born"....he was 13 months old

New haircut, quite short, sweepy fringe.

'ooh mummy you look like a pretty Hitler'.

"You not smell nice. Daddy smell nicer" 2 year old ds1

My then-3yo DS was playing in my room whilst I was getting dressed. He stopped playing to tell me "Mummy, I love your dangly boobies".
You son, are the reason they are now so flipping dangly!

I was naked about to get in the bath, bent over to turn the taps off and DS (3 years old) asked "why do you have long boobs mummy?" 😭

Fresh out of the shower 4yo dd 'mummy why do your rudey parts (vulva) look like that?! What happened to them!'

'You did kid, you happened'

And all too often 'friends mum is better than you at that'

Just about to go out and say to DH "do I look fat?" "No" he replies," you look lovely". Four year old pipes up "you DO look lovely Mummy. And fat".

My 6yo DD "I actually can't believe nana isn't dead yet".

My 3 year old likes to refer to me as piggy every once in a while

Once a 9 year old asked me why I had a moustache.... Wasn't long after that I looked into laser hair removal!

DD snuck into my bed in the morning for a snuggle.

“Mummy stop breathing, the air from your lungs smells like poo.”

Every year I make pumpkin soup at Halloween. Usually with disastrous results. When my DS was 8 he said "Urgh it tastes like that stuff you get when you throw up and there's nothing left to come out." Thanks son, you mean bile. My pumpkin soup tastes like bile.

Not a comment but a picture dd1 drew of me at nursery age 4. Let’s just say I looked very, very tired. Bags under the eyes, dull hair, long chin, sad face. She captured it completely. I did have 3 kids, 4 and under at that point!

I’ve kept it and we laugh about it now (she’s 15). And as the mum of two teenagers, they’ve been very hurtful and rude at times. But nothing comes close to dd1 bringing that picture home.

Many years back I was showing my son some old photo's, when I was younger, he looked and said, "You used to be ever so pretty"..........

I was in the shower, and my 3yo DS wanders in and has a chat. He then looks me up and down with a really puzzled look on his face. I asked him what’s up, and he says: “Mama, you’re boobies look sad”
“Yeah? That’s because you and your sisters ate them!!”

Three year old tickled my belly, telling me it's big while I'm a public swimming pool changing room

Used to provide after-school care for a 5 year old, looked outside and said “your garden is so ugly”. She also declared in a loud voice that I had “fat boobies”

Last weeks howler:
Me: come on let's brush your hair, you look like you've been dragged through a hedge backwards.
DD(3): Well, your hair looks like a mistake !
Me:😳

"Why is your face a different colour from your neck" and "your tummy is so comfy and squashy" thanks!

After applying a vanilla scented body cream, ds snuggled in and said," mmm, you smell nice. Just like a doughnut"