Children's comments that cut you deep (light hearted)

[MakeItRain]

I was off sick recently with flu, and when I finally went back to work (I teach young children) a child in my class happily said "oh, you're back. I thought you were dead!" She didn't look all that bothered either 😭 Luckily I did also get a lot of hugs from others in my class.
AIBU to ask what's the most forthright comment a child has ever made to you?

My 6 year old niece asked me why I still had a big tummy when I had had my baby the day dd was born

After I had made a nativity stable:
DS (9): Wow mummy that looks amazing. It looks like someone better than you made it!

Talking about what he wanted to be when he grew up. I said when I grow up I'm going to be a ballerina (as a joke). He looked at me very seriously. Mummy, you're already grow-ed up and I don't think ballerinas have all these extra bits on them (belly, bum , boobs) 💔🍷

I love you dd.

And I LIKE you mummy

With a reassuring arm pat.

Also...

Hmmm you look different today.., pretty! That's it you look pretty!

Years ago when my two were small we used to do the 'how much do you love me...'

Me to DC1: how much do you love me? DC1 up to the stars and back, how much do you love me? ME: to the bottom of the ocean and up to the stars etc. You get the picture.

Me to DC2: how much do you love me? DC2: (deadpan) I don't!

Me: I love building towers with you
DD(2): I love building towers with Daddy

'Mummy, your legs are lumpy'. Repeatedly, in the swimming pool. It did prompt me to get my varicose veins fixed though.

Both kids were sick on DHs birthday. Because of that we had to cancel the afternoon coffee and cake for family and friends and our dinner date, because my parents didnt want to look after 2 sick children.
DC1 slept all day. He was up for half an hour for lunch, then fell asleep on the couch in front of the tv.
DC2 was cranky and wanted to be carried all day. Very exhausting, always crying.
DC1 woke up for dinner and while eating he said 'i hope i never have a birthday like daddy. This was the most boring birthday ever!'

Extraordinarily rare occurrence, we were baking together (misplaced attempt at being wholesome mum), and I asked DD to divide the bread dough into two pieces. She pulled and pushed it around energetically, before delightedly saying:
"I can't mummy, it's too squidgy...like your tummy!"

She still asks if we can make "tummy bread"

‘Your hair’s beautiful, Mummy. It’s just like Professor Snape’s.’
Not quite the look I was aiming for.

DD6. Mummy I love you. But I also love everyone so you know.

Same daughter some weeks later. Mummy I love you so much I could explode...then you can clean up my blood!

Again same DD...after being naughty amd doing a time out. Mummy am I going to jail.
Me: no, jail is for bad bad adults, not for children. Don't worry.
DD: oh gosh, I just want to go jail, time out is rubbish, you are rubbish, I want to go jail!

Were you evacuated in the war mummy?

Thankfully my DD is not old enough to talk yet but my mum frequently reminds me of when I was two or three, in the queue at the post office, and I apparently pointed at a woman and yelled “Mummy look at that spotty lady!”

DS (aged 7 at the time) 'you always look so beautiful mommy.... Even if you are quite fat 😞
Same child aged 2 eating haribo.' I know, I'll save all the eggs and hearts for mommy, she really likes them.'
Looks over at me.
' actually, no, mommy needs to go on a diet, no sweeties for heerrrrrr' :(

@ConnorRipley that made me lol because that's what I say to DH

Last week my alarm didn't go off so I had to dash out of the house in 10 minutes to pick up my grandson and do the school run, so no time for anything other than a quick drag of a comb through my hair. He took a long, considered look at me and said 'Nana, you look older.' Fair enough, I thought. Then followed it up with 'Your face is all wrinkly, like a pug.'

A child a used to teach put their hand on my tummy and said “when is the baby coming?” like it had been far too long a wait already.

I was not pregnant.

Meeting my second ever class as a primary teacher and they were all lined up after finding out who their new teacher would be. One girl asked me why I had a beard. 'It's a moustache, actually,' was my reply.

Had flu. DS who was 4 at the time. "Are you going to die mum"? I would have been fine if he seemed more worried about the answer.

@CleanAndPaidFor I was telling your funny story to my DH and my daughter said 'mum why did her child say she is fat! You are fat mummy and I never tell you that' 😬 so there ...

8 year old with some SEN, we given a box of chocolates by his surgeon. It was the first thing he asked for when he woke up. The boy brought them up to
The nurses station and passed them round to us. I asked if his mum would get any. He said "no, she's fat enough already!"

It was a hot summer, I was heavily pregnant and wearing a yellow sundress. My 2 year declared that I looked like La-La, a teletubby

Friend's child asked to see my teeth, then with great seriousness said

'Oh. So yellow yellow'.

Cheers kid.

I was leaning over one day putting my tights on and my DD asked me why my boobs are so long

This morning I got told my breaths stinks (I had just woke up) and that I looked like a vampire

A few years ago whilst in Tesco toilets, my dd asked me at the top of her voice, why I had a hairy bum. All I could hear was sniggering from outside