Children's comments that cut you deep (light hearted)

[MakeItRain]

I was off sick recently with flu, and when I finally went back to work (I teach young children) a child in my class happily said "oh, you're back. I thought you were dead!" She didn't look all that bothered either 😭 Luckily I did also get a lot of hugs from others in my class.
AIBU to ask what's the most forthright comment a child has ever made to you?

My first husband, was abusive and had been together since school.
He used to be very abusive and particularly controlling and vile about my weight. (The most I’ve ever weighed is 10 stone and the biggest clothes size a 10) and he eventually drove me to an eating disorder in my early twenties.
He taught his dc who was about four or five to say I had big legs and was a fatty. 😭

Why won't it come off, mummy?

In relation to the dark underneath my eyes

Why you stinky Mummy? Said with a frown

Well I would have had a shower but who has time for that!!

I teach secondary school and before my wedding one of the kids asked me ‘what are you going to do about your face?!’ After getting over the shock it turns out she actually meant are you going to wear make up? But phrased it in a way that only a 15 year old girl can! For context I don’t wear make up for work

“Mummy I don’t need you - grandma can look after me! You just need to go to work.”

^

These are all hilarious but this REALLY made me laugh
@Littlefiendsusan
On holiday in the campsite showers with dd then 6: Mummy, your boobs look like goats ears.

DD when she was around 3, in the bath together, asking why my stomach was a stripy wobbly mess. I said that growing her in my tummy had done that to it and she replied 'did I do that to your bum as well'

DD again around 4/5, talking about how much I loved her and that I'd always be there for her and I got a deadpan 'well, not when you're dead?' Er, well no, not then I suppose! Strangely DS4 said something very similar, except Daddy and his sister will be there for him, but I'll be dead. Hoping that wasnt an accurate prediction!

Eating tea with my then three year old Ds, who wasn't eating his potatoes. When asked why, he shook his head forlornly and said "they are SO disappointing mummy." It sounded so alien coming out of his mouth at the time, I didn't know whether to be amused or offended.

DS was 11. Walked into bathroom & said "mum, you look like one of those Chilean miners". I threw that fake tan away.

When he was about 6 he looked at me, very studiously, then said "mum, you don't have a moustache..." (internal sigh) ... "but you have whiskers like a walrus"

I work in a primary school. In response to a cold sore I had the other week, I had a 9yo day ‘omg Miss, is your lip OK?’ I explained it’s fine and it’s just a cold sore. Child replies ‘Wow I’ve never seen one so big before’

I’ve also heard children make some harsh comments about their parents. Like ‘my mums going on a diet because she’s got too many bellies. Guess how many bellies she’s got? She’s got about 8 now’

My DC are both pretty much non verbal but they like to give me a pat on the stomach

Oh no Mummy what’s wrong with your face? I’ll help you! (A spot)

Mummy why is your hair is all black at the back? (Roots needed doing)

Mummy you look beautiful. Exactly like Jaws. (...)

Laughing at these! My 3 year old gently stroked my cheek and said, "You're so beautiful" My heart melted until he followed it up with, "You're so beautiful Bettina".

For those who don't know, Bettina is the cow from Paw Patrol....

I love reading these! Another one of mine is a school one. I had an important meeting to go to and had to dress really smartly for it. When it was over I came back to school and a 4 year old child in my class looked at me with her mouth wide open and shouted out in front of the whole class "Mrs MakeItRain, what's HAPPENED to you? You look PRETTY!" 🤣🤣

From a reception age child. "My auntie had those(thread veins) on her face. She was old so she died" I was in my late 30s at the time. I have since discovered concealer!.

"I like it when you carry me Mummy, because you're nice and squishy. When (Daddy's new girlfriends name) carries me her bones stick into me"
Daddy's new girlfriend was a size 6 to my 10, and several years younger

Youngest DS at age 5 was in the bath, watching me floss my teeth. He spouts "Mama, you look like the Grinch"

Same child walking in on me doing a workout at home... "Mama you don't have big thighs. You have a little bit medium thighs"

My daughter once declared that "mum you glisten like a jobby in the moonlight."

DH still bring it up

I died a little inside

"Mummy, is that fur because you're turning back into a Gorilla?".

I hope that this was a reference to evolution and not a belief that I'm an ape!

DE (3) looking lovingly up at my face, I was thinking, ah she really loves me, then she said "Mummy you have lots of hairs in your nose."

DD (today) “I just love your massive and squishy your tummy is Mummy”
DN “ why do you have a pig nose?”
I could go on but my self esteem would be in tatters 🤣

Dd likes to call me granddad...

"Do you actually LIKE that t-shirt your are wearing?"

My 7 year old really knows how to make me question myself!

I was doing my hair and was told “don't worry Mum, you haven't got a hairstyle”

If I don't drink or smoke will it mean I never look old like you and Daddy and look as young as my friend's parents!

(Friends parents are 20+ yrs younger than us, and our kid knows this already.)

Tried a dress on for a wedding which was black & white. Wasn't sure about it so went downstairs to show DH and DS(then8) said "Mum, you look amazing!" I was really pleased and then just a second later her said "a bit like a zebra!"