Children's comments that cut you deep (light hearted)

[MakeItRain]

I was off sick recently with flu, and when I finally went back to work (I teach young children) a child in my class happily said "oh, you're back. I thought you were dead!" She didn't look all that bothered either 😭 Luckily I did also get a lot of hugs from others in my class.
AIBU to ask what's the most forthright comment a child has ever made to you?

Seeing me take off my bra my DD called my boobs my “plonky up downs” which couldn’t be more accurate tbh 🤣

Mummy, I am not trying to be rude but your bum is really big. Did I ask for your assessment of my bum size?!!

"Mummy when I grow up I don't want stripes on my tummy like you".
Cheers daughter, you put them there!

Child looks doubtfully at giant archway BUILT FOR CARS TO PASS UNDER:
'Mummy, do you think you'll fit through that gate?'

"mummy you look like the lady at my party". Elsa? feel pretty chuffed with that, could do worse than a disney princess. "No, the other lady". ah, that would be the clown. Maybe gone a bit overboard with the new urban decay palette i got for christmas then.

I vividly remember DD about 7 or 8 saying “mummy I think you should start dying your hair”
Thanks a bunch

One of the kids in my class: how old are you MissClare?
Me: ooooo 25 (actually almost twice that)
Kid: (looks closely at me) you don’t look 25.

Friend’s DS: why have you got a baby in your tummy?

I wasn’t pregnant.

Friend’s DS to my DH: why are your teeth green?

DH invested in a tooth whitening kit soon after that.

A few months after I had DS3 a friend's son 3 year old son (whose mum was pregnant) said to me asked if my baby came out of my tummy. I said "yes", to which he replied "Why is your tummy still big then?"

Not me, but my sister once had one of her DD's walk in whilst she was in the bath and stop and stare before saying "Mummy, how come some ladies have things on their chests that stick out and you just have those dangly bits?"

Talking about hair colour I confidently declared: “Daddy has black hair and I am blonde!” DD, mulling it over: “Hm, yours is more like silver, mummy.”

Haha these are funny! Also reminds me of my son, who goes to a childminder, let's call her Clare. When asked his favourite meals he thought for a bit and said "Clare's chicken korma, Clare's lasagna and Clare's carbonara!" 🤣 Luckily I'm under no illusions about my cooking 😬🤣

A couple of weeks ago my almost 3 year old niece looked at me and told me I had one eyebrow, and thence couple minutes after that, that I'm wide 😂

'Why are your boobies so sad? Look, they keep staring at the floor. '

Thank you, DD3

A child in my class once asked me if I was in the Second World War. Also, you know how kids call the teacher ‘mummy’ by mistake? I got called grandad. 😁

Mummy, I love the effort you put into my cakes and stuff. Could I ask you something for this year? Could you buy one from a shop instead?
From 11yo DD1. Every single year has been a fabulous homemade creation - a fairy castle, an African Savannah scene. But not this year.

"Mummy if you're 10 years younger than daddy, why do you look much older".

My 3 and 7 year olds got a karaoke microphone for Christmas. I twice have gotten a really loud rendition of "Mammy the big bum".... and fits of giggles after....

Ds around age 6, said to me one day "mum, you're a fat cow" very matter of fact, not in a nasty way either. I don't know why, I'm not actually fat, middle of the range healthy weight. Think he must have heard it somewhere and didn't really understand. I had a little cry in the bedroom lol.

Dd2 last week after I'd committed the heinous crime of turning the light off for at least 15 seconds to check out dd's new Harry Potter golden snitch reading light levels....
"I want to go and live with daddy"
From the child who still climbs into my bed every night......

Dd1 finds it hilarious that I am "old, fat & have hair on my bits"

Gotta love them.....

A child at work once asked me “miss, why are your teeth so big?”

“I love you DC”
“I don’t love you mummy, go away”

Every. Single. Time. 🙄

I said to my 7yo niece the other day “ can you notice my bump now? “ ( I’m 17 and a half weeks with dc1 ) to which she looked me up and down and said “ nah not really but your face is fat now “ thanks, thanks a bunch!

Just before Christmas, a little girl (about 3) at my daughters nursery - ‘that’s a fat lady mummy’ pointing at me. I went home and cried myself to sleep that night. I have however joined weight watchers in the new year and have lost 7lbs. I’m determined not to be an embarrassment to my wee girl when she grows up, she’s only 16 months old now so too young to understand but I’d be mortified if she was ever bullied because her mum is fat.

“I love you DC”
“I don’t love you mummy, go away”

Every. Single. Time. 🙄

Oh yeah this isn't an easy thing. I think it's important that they hear it often, especially after their dad walked out on them.

"Love you DC1"

....

"LOVE you DC1!"

......

"DC1!"

"Huh?"

"I said I love you"

"Uhh yeah okay"

He's 7 not 17!!

"Love you DC2" (aged 3)

Blows raspberries and runs off

...

“You have a baby in your tummy mummy” (I did) “Do you have another baby in your bum too?”