“Did you have some help”

[Legomanships]

AIBU to find this response to us telling our friend we are having twins a bit rude?

I can imagine I may (possibly) be a little bit hormonal etc, but I feel like this is a weird response. It wasn’t said in a jokey way, and was the only thing she said before saying she was on her way out.

My husband also thought it was rude, but he might just be agreeing with me to make me feel less stupid.

?? I don’t understand what it even means? Have some help with what?

As in are they if babies? People are so wierd when it comes to pregnancy. It's as if your entire reproductive history is anything to do with them. At best its rude, at worst triggering or upsetting.
YANBU.

Ivf not if

Is she asking if you had treatment?

That's weird. Is she one of those people who says bizarre things in social situations?

Let it go. I agree it is weird, but people are.

Be blatant

“No, just super fertile you rude cow! Haha!”

It was a bit rude/intrusive.
But there are more twins these days due to IVF, so presumably that's what she was thinking.

YANBU. Rude at worst, insensitive at best. Nobody's business.

Congratulations btw!

I think I like this “it is weird, but people are”.

She isn’t super weird normally to be fair, so it was doubly unexpected.

My friend with twins still gets this and they’re 10 now! Sorry.

But yes I’d let it go other than thinking she’s a bit rude/ mad.

Unfortunately you will keep being asked. (Voice of experience) - embarrassing either way if you did or didn’t ‘have help’. It’s their stupid though - feel free to reply that yes - the babies’ father ‘helped’

It is rude. I had ivf twins and often get asked 'were they natural'? I don't mind telling people, if they're rude enough to ask I'm happy to go into loads of 'tmi' detail about the treatment.

I feel like I’m relatively young, and we have just been married a year, so IVF would be a weird conclusion, I don’t even think I know why it bothered me...but you are all right, let it go! Lol

It’s a very personal question but twins are more likely with assisted conception. Tell her she’s asked something very personal and that she might upset others by asking things like that.

“The babies father helped” is brilliant! I wish I had said that!!

Try being an adoptive parent - "Are they your real children?"
No, they are made of plastic.

Oh my god you had better get used to this. People ask it all the time. It is so rude. A delivery man asked once and so did a checkout lady in supermarket. Annoys me so much as they are basically asking if I had fertility issues or not.

YANBU. I think people do tend to think that twins may be the result of IVF, especially non-identical twins. I know 3 sets of twins and they are all non-identical and all are the result of IVF but at least one of the sets doesn't know that they were because their parents don't want them to know. Asking or commenting on it is extremely rude.

Oh yes, drspouse, especially when they find out you’re a widow and you didn’t give birth to your kids. The concerned, “did you and Mr T0t not have any family of your own”. 😒

The only appropriate comment from them would have been "congratulations"!

My twins are four and people still ask me this all the time. People are bonkers.

People are indeed bonkers.
"What do they call you?"

drspouse I'm disgusted anyone is that ignorant and insensitive to say that. Fucking hell.