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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think he is checking up on me?

155 replies

sallyhoop · 14/08/2019 13:54

I work in a solicitors in town as admin assistant.
I was at work this morning and I sent the guy I'm seeing a Snapchat saying roll on home time at my desk.
Then I went and did the post office run.
Got a text at lunchtime saying ..why aren't you at work like you said?
I said I am..
He said my friend has just seen you in town
I explained I nipped out to the post office
He is now ignoring me.
Aibu here or is this a bit OTT

OP posts:
Rubbinghimsweetly2 · 14/08/2019 13:55

Yeah, fuck that op.

PennyGold · 14/08/2019 13:56

If that's the way he's acting when you're just dating.. fuck that. RUN

BooksAreMyOnlyFriends · 14/08/2019 13:56

Sounds like he doesn't trust you.

AmIThough · 14/08/2019 13:57

A guy you're seeing is already trying to control you? Fuck that!

loobyloo1234 · 14/08/2019 13:57

How long have you been seeing him?

HollowTalk · 14/08/2019 13:58

He sounds unhinged. I bet there are tons of women out there thanking god that he's no longer with them. Get rid.

whothedaddy · 14/08/2019 13:58

That's so creepy, not just him checking up on you but his friends too- like you are his property.
You don't even describe him as your boyfriend.
Definitely end things now.
The fact that you are posting this on a forum means you know this already and just need validation.

sallyhoop · 14/08/2019 13:58

I don't think I've done anything wrong,my office is pretty laid back and it was my turn to pop to the post office.
I don't understand why he's in a mood with me.

OP posts:
sallyhoop · 14/08/2019 13:59

I've been seeing him since the end of may

OP posts:
AmIThough · 14/08/2019 13:59

@sallyhoop it's irrelevant how laid back your office with.

If you'd have gone out for lunch and he'd have responded in that way it'd still be weird.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 14/08/2019 14:00

Because he's a controlling dick....dump him, this is just the start.

sallyhoop · 14/08/2019 14:00

I only work party time too
From 9-1
So maybe he thought it was weird me being out

OP posts:
Willow2017 · 14/08/2019 14:00

That's a huge red flag.
Doesn't he know where you work and what you do?
Even if it wasn't work but your break time does he expect you to stay indoors at work all day?
Why does he feel he needs to.know where you are all the time?
Serious convo time and if he thinks this is ok then the hills are >>>way.

sallyhoop · 14/08/2019 14:01

*part

OP posts:
HeffaLump1 · 14/08/2019 14:01

Of course you haven't done anything wrong!!! But you don't have to explain yourself to him. Have you replied "why the hell is your friend reporting to you about my movements?"

brookelopez · 14/08/2019 14:01

really strange behaviour. I wouldn't stand for it

Lifeisabeach09 · 14/08/2019 14:02

Of course you haven't done anything wrong. And, quite frankly, if you wanted to shop the day away and not be at your desk--that's none of his fucking business.

RED FLAGS!!!

This man is monitoring you then questioning your movements. Be careful.

Horehound · 14/08/2019 14:02

Well, i wouldnt be seeing him anymore! Weirdo

MrHaroldFry · 14/08/2019 14:02

He said my friend has just seen you in town
I explained I nipped out to the post office AS PART OF MY JOB.
I would reduce contact with a view to severing all ties within a month. Too much drama-lama.

HollowTalk · 14/08/2019 14:03

I don't think I've done anything wrong

Of course you haven't done anything wrong! This is how it starts with that sort of man - you blame yourself for everything. By the end you will be driven mad. Get out now.

MaintainTheMolehill · 14/08/2019 14:05

The way he has phrased that is a huge red flag. He's accusing you of lying to him before he's even spoke to you.
Get angry op, instead of trying to appease him and explain yourself (which you shouldn't have to do!)

gamerchick · 14/08/2019 14:06

OP 3 months in? You're already posting wondering what you've done wrong because he's sulking?

Seriously, send him a text telling him this isn't going to work and that you're calling it a day. He should still be on best behaviour and he's about to throw you into a complete headfuck. Dont waste your time.

sallyhoop · 14/08/2019 14:06

Me knows where I work but never really explained the boring ins and outs of what I do tbh.
I didn't really think I had too.

OP posts:
whatever123noname · 14/08/2019 14:07

He’s done you a favour, really. He’s shown you who he is early enough that you can just dump and move on without having wasted too much of your life on a controlling arse.

scarecrowhead · 14/08/2019 14:08

You don't need to explain anything to him.

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