To think he is checking up on me?

[sallyhoop]

I work in a solicitors in town as admin assistant.
I was at work this morning and I sent the guy I'm seeing a Snapchat saying roll on home time at my desk.
Then I went and did the post office run.
Got a text at lunchtime saying ..why aren't you at work like you said?
I said I am..
He said my friend has just seen you in town
I explained I nipped out to the post office
He is now ignoring me.
Aibu here or is this a bit OTT

Even if it was a coincidence and his friend randomly saw you, to question you about it is an e trend red flag. Save yourself months/years of misery.

Do you think his behaviour is acceptable OP? Are you his property?

Hoo... run like the fucking wind. If this is how he is in the "honeymoon period", imagine him in 5 years time.

You don't have to explain yourself, whether going on a work errand or going to treat yourself to a solo lunch and shopping, or even (gasp) meeting up with a friend. It doesn't matter. You have done nothing wrong. Please don't pander to his sulking and please, please don't think you owe him an explanation.

Also please send him and his big fuck-off red flag packing.

You're not listening, Sally. Good advice here. Stop over thinking and trying to understand his point of view. Get rid, quick.

Run a mile. Fast.

He's controlling, and he's barely wasted any time letting you know he is.

Get away from him asap.

Have a long hard think about why you wonder if you've done something wrong.

a) he's been setting you up to feel like you answer to him
b) you past relationships have been abusive
c) your family is abusive

Or a combination. Because I'd have laughed in a BF's face if they'd said that. And dumped them. Except in the worst relationships I've had. But you're wondering about yourself.

This.

This is odd. Surely it isn't unreasonable for people for pop out for a drink / post a letter / snack etc? It seems very over the top to me

OMG, run for the fucking hills OP!

He is showing you who he is, please listen.

You know this isn't right OP, otherwise you wouldn't have come on here. Please end this.

Why do you think it's your fault?

That is how it starts - you second guessing yourself, trying to be all things to all people, instead of thinking - actually, I've done nothing wrong, you can fuck off with your blaming and subtle accusations.

don't let him move in with you.

MrsTerryPratchett make a very point.

This fella is obviously not worth the time of day, but what really concerns me is your reaction.

I know it is hard when you are really into someone but do yourself a favour and get rid, then look up the nearest Freedom Programme and enrol. It is eminently affordable and will help you to recognise red flags. You might even meet some nice people there.

Can't believe the amount of people saying LTB over a 3 line text.

Perhaps he's been lied to and cheated on in the past and got a bit panicked when you said you were somewhere and someone saw you somewhere else. You filled in the blank though and explained you are actually at work and perhaps he's just busy and not ignoring you.

I honestly wouldn't leave someone because they questioned I was seen somewhere I said I wasn't.... Unless there's a massive back story and he is constantly checking up where you are and controlling what you do?

coolestmum he could have said 'hey my mate saw you in town' not asking her in an accusing way. 'What aren't you in work like you said ' is like saying 'why aren't you where i thought you were, what were you doing somewhere else, have you lied to me?'

This is how it starts.
Run for the hills now.

I'd swerve that shit stain.

@coolestmum are you actually being serious? I can't tell and hope you're joking!

OP doesn't need to explain fuck all let alone when she's at work. So she can't even nip out to run an errand FOR WORK without being questioned and now ignored?

You have incredibly low standards if you'd be happy being questioned, especially just nipping to the post office

Ok so two views from me.
a) maybe he meant it as a jokey comment , which may not have been as funny as he wanted to be, but that he didnt mean to cause offence.

b) He is checking up on you and and what you do and tell him. This would be a big red flag to me and if this is the case it may undermine you as time goes on.

🏃🏼‍♀️🚩🚩🚩🚩

His imaginary friend. Be careful, it's more likely he's following you or tracking your movements. He's invented the friend because he can't tell you that it's him without looking unhinged - which he says. Bin.

This. It wasn't a friend who saw you and he's a creepy fucker.

OP - how do you know he's ignoring you? He could be just busy

does he live near Bognor?

If you need to be sure, go on a tour of random pubs, especially those for people on the pull, on the way home. See what calls you get from Mr Spyware.

Of course she can nip out, but I don't get run for hills based on 3 lines. The BF thought she was somewhere, she wasn't, he asked why, So,no I seriously don't get why everyone is saying LTB. Unless he is actually ignoring her and sulking, thats a different matter, but we don't know that do we.

I think tbh if my bf said he was at the cinema and a friend then saw him in the pub, i'd likely ask, 'thought you were at the cinema?'. People can go where they want, when they want and no they shouldn't have to explain but its called being in a relationship and building up trust in each other. Trust isn't an instant thing and asking a question of someone when something didn't quite add up, is perfectly normal.
Perhaps he could have worded it a little better (if that example from OP is word for word?), but I wouldn't leave someone just because they asked me why I wasn't at the place I said that I was.

Op I think the majority of posters here think you are in a dangerous situation with this man. Please think of your own safety and leave him now. His behaviour is NOT normal!