To think he is checking up on me?

[sallyhoop]

I work in a solicitors in town as admin assistant.
I was at work this morning and I sent the guy I'm seeing a Snapchat saying roll on home time at my desk.
Then I went and did the post office run.
Got a text at lunchtime saying ..why aren't you at work like you said?
I said I am..
He said my friend has just seen you in town
I explained I nipped out to the post office
He is now ignoring me.
Aibu here or is this a bit OTT

And this is why so many women end up in abusive relationships, because they don't see the signs in the early days, and if they mention something to their friends, it just gets brushed off, with comments like, "Aww, he really misses you doesn't he, phoning you up several times a day." Or, in this case, "He was just wondering what you were doing in town." "He must be busy at work.".

It is heartening that the vast majority on this thread recognise it for what it is though. The more women educate themselves about abuse, the less likely it is that they'll end up as victims, and they'll be able to advise friends who may experience it, correctly. Because I've seen some frankly dangerous advice on some threads, by people who don't realise that what is being posted about, is abuse.

Please please listen to the other posters OP, this is a major problem. He is accusing you, making you question yourself, feel anxious and on edge. This is how it starts until you are afraid to do anything and you reduce your world down so small to try and eliminate anything that could set him off that you can't breathe. I wish I had mumsnet to tell me this 15 years ago when I was young and getting into a controlling relationship, I didn't know what it was back then and could have spared 3 years of misery. Run my love, save yourself.

I’ve been with my DP for 10 years, and am trying to imagine this happening with us, either way. I don’t think the time of the relationship in this situation is relevant at all.

I can’t imagine my DP texting saying “a friend saw you at the the post office” without naming who it was. The accusatory “why aren’t you at work like you said you were” is ridiculous.

A friend seeing your DP at the post office isn’t even something that would make it into my conversations with my DP. I don’t think either of us would think to mention it, and if we did, it would certainly be no more than a text along the lines “hi, hope you’re having a good day. John saw you at the post office earlier” but I just can’t see it even happening

• because why the hell would a friend make the effort to text someone to say they’d seen their girlfriend at the post office? It’s total bullshit, OP

Exactly Derbee.