Awful School sports day

[Seniorschoolmum]

I’ve just endured my ds’s sports day. My ds loathes sport. He has been stressing about it for weeks. He is the youngest, slowest & smallest in his year. He had to take part in every race and came last in all except one.
This was in front of 300 people.
He was understandably humiliated and very upset, and it showed. The school head walked across to him and told him to stop making a fuss, in front of everyone.
Six weeks ago, his year did SATS. In a class room, not in front of an audience of 300. Those children who weren’t very good were provided with counselling g, two terms of mindfulness sessions and every support.
I wholly agree with that support.

But the head’s behaviour this afternoon was nasty, spiteful, ignorant and unhelpful. I am so angry I can barely speak. I feel like pulling ds out of school for the last 3 weeks of term and wrecking her attendance figures on purpose.

I will calm down in a bit but honestly....

You'll get lots of support here OP as Mumsnet hates sports gemerally.

I'd be mortified if my child cried and fussed about coming last however.

And at our primary, any SATS support was offered to everyone, not just 'the ones who weren't very good'.

That is awful! Your poor DS and you. Maybe next year, could you skip that day? It's not like he needs it for his future career.

Ds has already said he is never doing another sports day. It’ll take months to undo the damage

That must have been tough for him coming last in every thing bar one. Maybe he shouldn't do so many races next year, just do a token one to be involved.
If he was upset then the head really shouldn't have embarrassed him further. Hope he is ok now 💐

He’s sitting in a tree refusing to come down.

I was the kid shit at sport and last at everything but honestly you're being precious. He needs to learn to lose gracefully.

He'll find something else to shine at.

Wow that is appalling from the head!! Poor boy!

That's a shame that it was so hard for him. My children both came last in their races at sports day as well, but the whole school was cheering them on and their achievements were just as celebrated as anyone elses. There were also lots of examples of friends slowing down or skipping along together to give others a chance to not be last. I don't think it does my children any harm to come last in a few races as they are good at lots of other things, but a real shame to make it so miserable for anyone.

I was the child who was hopeless at school sports and it affected my confidence and my attitude to exercise for decades, it still affects me actually.
I would go in and see the head, and if the response isn’t good I would keep him home next sports day. Of course children need to be good losers, but there is nothing to be gained by feeling humiliated.

Kids have to learn how to lose, they can't be the best at everything etc. But if it was my child I'd feel exactly the same as you. Sorry, no advice, but I hope your ds is able to have a nice weekend and forget about sports day. It was the most hated part of my school time as a very non sporty clumsy child!

How old is your DS?
I can understand your upset completely - it’s all well and good when people say “oh it’s the taking part that matters “ but it’s no fun when you’re the kid who comes last every time. What’s the point and where’s the enjoyment or educational value in that?
He hates sport so I assume he doesn’t do much outside of school?
Would he consider a running club or similar for next year - or park runs if they have them in your area? It might make him feel like he has some control over the situation. My DC will never be the fastest by a long shot but a bit of “training “ in advance makes them less anxious in the run up

What did the the Head actually say? Did you hear? Could it be that he wasn't trying to humiliate him and was just telling him not to worry about it.

I really don't understand this privileging of sport over every other subject at school. Is there a Maths Day? A Music Day? A Geography Day? No? So why a Sports Day? It's excruciating at worst and boring as hell at best for kids who don't like sports.

That does seem out of order from the head, did you hear everything they said. I have to say all my 2's sport days have been supportive with the last person over the line getting the biggest cheer and teachers often running alongside them.. Your son probably does need to learn how to handle not being the best at something.

Most people cheer on those who tried their best but still came last. A child shouldn’t loathe sport if they want to be healthy.
What other activity can you get him involved in?

You can learn to lose graciously at lots of things, it expense have to be sport. I can honestly say school ruined a lot of sports for me and it wasn’t until I was 25 or so that I looked into exercise or sports that might interest me. Sports day is a weird one cos you don’t put all the kids in a spelling bee and make them hash it out.

OP sorry to hear your DS had such a miserable day. I can see why schools do it but it doesn’t make it easier for those who aren’t sporty.

However, “counselling” for children who failed SATs?

Our school has had a maths and english day this year as well as a sports day.

He likes cycling & swimming. He isn’t permanently on a playstation he’s just not much good at athletics.

Doesn’t have to be**

I hated school sports for this reason.

Yes, I heard it clearly. It was horrible.

I haven’t ever thumped anyone but today I really wanted to.

We had the opposite problem, lots of kids got 4 or 5 races, and mine would get one. Perhaps they have had complaints and want every child to have equal opportunity.

I was bad at sports. Really, really bad! I came last in every race, every year. It wasn't remotely humiliating. Everyone was cheered on. In secondary school they accidentally started a new race before someone had finished and all thousand of us stood up and cheered him the whole way he had left.

Making a fuss about coming last though I would have been embarrassed about.

months to undo the damage