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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu? I want to do driving lessons

179 replies

grainykite · 30/03/2019 13:55

But my DP is insistent it should be him Sad my reasoning is I'm the one stuck at home with the kids so surely it would give me more freedom, instead of relying on him or waiting for him to become available?
Who is BU

OP posts:
SnowyAlpsandPeaks · 30/03/2019 13:57

Both do them. Then argue over the carGrin

hidinginthenightgarden · 30/03/2019 13:57

Can't you both?

GreenTulips · 30/03/2019 13:57

You both need to learn

Even one at a time

You first as the kids will benefit more

Original poster
grainykite · 30/03/2019 13:58

We can't afford to both do it unfortunately! We've actually just bought a car (no idea why when we can't drive!!) And he is insistent he'd drive a 7 seater to work Grin

OP posts:
DisplayPurposesOnly · 30/03/2019 13:58

Can you clarify? Neither of you drive, you both want to learn and can't afford two lots of lessons?

Why not take turns? You can have lessons for six months, and if you haven't passed your test in that time, then he gets a turn for six months.

AnnieMay100 · 30/03/2019 14:00

Would he consider a bike test? Cheaper than a car and will be easier for work travel, then you can learn in the car. Or one of you learn then teach the other!

GruciusMalfoy · 30/03/2019 14:00

I guess you need to try and come to a compromise. Is there anyone around who could sit in the car with each of you while you learn? It would cut down on the paid lessons you both need.

GruciusMalfoy · 30/03/2019 14:02

To add, has either of you any history of taking lessons at all? If so, I'd say that one should concentrate on passing first, eeing as they wouldn't be starting from scratch. Then the next person should have their turn.

IceRebel · 30/03/2019 14:02

So neither of you drive?

If so yes I would definitely want to learn, you can't rely on him as realistically he might not always be in your life. If you split up you will be more isolated without a car.

Also being without a vehicle during his work hours seems stupid, he is obviously able to commute to work via other means. As for rely on him to do every day trips like the supermarket / soft play etc, I can guarantee he would soon start moaning that it's always him doing XYZ, conveniently forgetting he stopped you from learning.

Sorry if that was long, but TLDR: Learn how to drive, it will change your life.

steff13 · 30/03/2019 14:02

Do you have to take formal lessons to get a license as an adult? You don't here. Does either of you have a friend who could teach you?

SileneOliveira · 30/03/2019 14:03

You've bought a car when neither of you can drive.

Dearie me.

PurpleDaisies · 30/03/2019 14:04

How do the kids get to school and him to work at the moment?

Wallsbangers · 30/03/2019 14:05

Why would you buy a car when you can't drive?! You could saved the money you'll be wasting on insurance (and tax) while it sits on your drive and brought more lessons.

Anyway, unless he works in the middle of nowhere, you should go first.

JenniferJareau · 30/03/2019 14:05

So you had money to buy a car but now you cannot both afford lessons?

Cart before horse op!

Original poster
grainykite · 30/03/2019 14:06

Because the car was an absolute bargain. We could never afford almost 2k for a 7 seater.
Yes we both have experience of lessons but obviously 3 children later, it's expensive for us to both do it. No we've no adult friends who'd be able to help

OP posts:
Parky04 · 30/03/2019 14:07

Why on earth did you buy a car? You won't be able to drive it even when you are taking lessons! Surely the amount you spent on the car would have paid for both of you to take lessons. Very bizarre!

IceRebel · 30/03/2019 14:09

Because the car was an absolute bargain.

It's not a bargain if you have no need for it. It could be years before either of you pass your test, in that time it will be costing you money. Confused

Original poster
grainykite · 30/03/2019 14:10

One of us will be driving before the end of the year (hopefully)
It won't cost any money though, as it's off road it'll be SORNd

OP posts:
GruciusMalfoy · 30/03/2019 14:12

I'd say then that you should take lessons first. You'll use the car all week, and at the weekend too. If he learns first it'll be to make it more convenient for him getting to work, for it to then be parked up there for 8 hours. You could use it for after school clubs, shopping, health appts, taking the kids to parties etc. It would benefit more people overall.

FlossieTeacakesFurCoat18 · 30/03/2019 14:13

Sounds like he just doesn't want you to be the first one to get a license? Male pride maybe?

Of course you and the kids need it more!

QuestionableMouse · 30/03/2019 14:13

There are hundred of 7 seaters available for under £2k. It's not worth anything if you can't use it.

Original poster
grainykite · 30/03/2019 14:15

We've tried looking and couldn't find anything that wasn't 1,890 which is an extortionate amount of money.
It might not make sense but was a bargain, and it's done now

OP posts:
Xyzzzzz · 30/03/2019 14:15

Either way both do you theory first then that’s out of the way and valid for two years. I’d say you should learn first cause it’s more of an inconvenience you not being able to drive. Some instructors give discounts if there’s more than one of you

PurpleDaisies · 30/03/2019 14:17

Why did you need a 7 seater for 3 kids?

Original poster
grainykite · 30/03/2019 14:19

For car seats?

OP posts: