First date with lovely man.... but then I got this?

[wolfgirl11]

Hi all
I've been on a few online dating sites for a couple of years on and off. Last week I met someone I really clicked with. Spent 6 hours together -big connection (& lots of booze)
Messaging lots since & both commenting how good it was. Then last night he sent this;
'And I know I've only just met you but you're THE most amazing person. I meet a lot of people. You're special. Very'
I suggested that considering we only met once that's a pretty big thing to say.
He said 'I have a big heart'
I'm thinking big red flag. What would you think if you received that after one date?

I have a big heart would worry me

I'd be wary but you spent a long time together. Do you like him? He may just wear his heart on his sleeve but if I were you I'd be watching for more red flags.
If you like him, wait, watch and see.

Yes I agree worrying and red flag.

Bit weird and intense. He clearly has a big opinion of himself....

Well you both sound a bit full on for having just met. 6 hours for a first date and lots of texting afterwards. Neither of you are playing cool are you. Give the guy a chance, not necessarily a red flag but maybe a pink paper napkin. Gonon a second date but keep his behaviour noted.

I knew my dp before dating through friends. But he said similar from day 1 then said the he loved me after a week.. I was like??
4 yrs later. Still treats me amazingly, 1dc, ttc no 2. Wedding this year.

There are some men who are genuinely like that.

I’d be thinking 🙄 just when I thought I’d found one I clicked with. I would see him again, I wouldn’t drink toooo much and I’d see how it went. Some people are just not very good at this stuff. However, I’d be very wary of him and definitely not let myself be swept up in his whirlwind.

My husband told me he loved me on our first date. I just took it slow and kept everything at a pace I was happy with. We have been together 24years this year.

Omg. Give the guy a break. Out of context it's nothing but a text message sent after a couple of beers

Watch out for real red flags or a pattern of weirdness!

When me and DH met we didn't leave each others sides for 4 days! Sometimes you meet someone and you click and it's fantastic.

If you both like each other meet again and see how it goes.

Give the guy a chance, not necessarily a red flag but maybe a pink paper napkin. Haha I like this!

Also totally agree. Try a second date. You can decide how fast or slow you want things to go.

I think he sent a very generic complimentary message and you completely misjudged the tone and responded as though he had just said 'I love you', after one date.

He didn't say anything inappropriate, only indicated you had had a strong connection on the date, and I think his 'I have a big heart' was his way of trying to get the conversation back onto a normal track after you had taken a compliment way too seriously.

My husband and I had similar - still together many years later.

Some people are just very open with their feelings and refuse to play games when they meet someone they like. I wouldn't rule him out as genuine because of this.

I'd go on another date or two, see how you feel, but note this in the back of your mind and see if anything else makes you uncomfortable

My husband didn't say it because he'd been accused of being "too clingy/intense" before, but he definitely felt that way about me after our first date (he told me later).

Maybe he's just expressive. I'd give him another chance.

My dh asked what type of engagement ring I would like after a week... we were 19!! 12 years later though we are happy as Larry. He really is my soulmate. Don’t discount him just yet!

I’d give him a chance. Don’t let something go that could be amazing. Maybe he does feel a strong connection, as you said yourself. Maybe he just tried to put it into words?

My husband was intense right away. We’ve been happily married 35 years.

My Husband was pretty full on straight away,

But the moment I met him I knew he was the one I wanted to spend my life with & he felt the same. So just because hes open to expressing his emotions I wouldn't see that as a red flag at all. Like you said, you had a big connection. would you really want to throw that away over a text. At least test the waters with a 2nd Date.

I wouldn’t say it’s a red flag - just something to bear in mind in case a wider pattern emerges. It could be a sign that he’s generally insincere or overly intense, but it would be a leap to make that judgment already. If you like him, give it some time and see whether there is a wider issue.

Sounds very sweet to me. Men can't win. If he had played it cool and not texted you back you would probably be saying he was a bastard but (quietly) running after him but he texts you a nice reply and you have this reaction. Apparently nice guys finish last...

I have a big heart would worry me

Indeed, a.k.a. idiopathic dilated cardiomyopathy, can be very serious.

Over enthusiasm after some alcohol? It would be weirder to be so freaked out by a clumsy complement that you let it ruin a potentially successful relationship.

My dh said I love you after a month, I told him to whoaaa there as it was still too early and I diden't love him, we have been together for 20 years. Not necessarily a red flag, maybe he wears his heart on his sleeve. Slow down, and be honest with him.

Indeed, a.k.a. idiopathic dilated cardiomyopathy, can be very serious.