AIBU to think I won’t be a gumtree murder statistic?

[Hiphopopotamus]

My big question here - will I get murdered?

My back is full of tension and I’m desperate for a massage but also incredibly skint, so I googled 'free massages'. I found myself on gumtree where I found an offer for a free one hour deep tissue massage in exchange for a review. It looks to be at a business address - ie, not someone's house and it explicitly says that it's a Male masseuse looking for serious people and that it is absolutely not a sexual service!

I've emailed and arranged to go next week - but is this insane?? It's a free massage found on gumtree so I obviously have many concerns. But if it's legitimate it's a really good offer. Just to say I am female and (usually) very streetwise and cautious!

So AIBU to think that I can turn up for a free massage with no risk of murder? 😂

Take someone with you! At least until met the man so they are an eye witness!

Have phone on ready to call in emergency!

I'm afraid you sound anything but very streetwise, OP. What you're planning has trouble written all over in indelible red ink, just save up and book your massage from a reputable therapist.

I would go with a friend and sit and read while i waited

2 murdered 😂

Anyone else look on Gumtree?

I found the ad! Looks like a dungeon!

DONT DO IT!

Get someone to bring you and wait for you. He wont be as keen on killing you if you have witnesses lol

😂 please go and update us live!

Oh a female relative did this! Free massage in exchange for a review, and it was actually at his house too. I convinced her that she was 99 per cent likely to end up in his dungeon. As a result she took a friend with her at least.

As it was, it appeared all above board. He was setting up a new business apparently hence the need for reviews. The massage was proclaimed excellent. In fact the friend went back on her own at a later date to pay for a massage.

Sorry, that sounds terrible. I wish you no harm 😬

You in danger gurl

Sometimes Mumsnet is brilliant, this is one of those times.
So op, are you going ?

Get someone to bring you and wait for you. He wont be as keen on killing you if you have witnesses lol

Or you’ll be responsible for the death of a friend too???

Just looked on Gumtree, very scared now!

No, don’t do it OP!

ToPlanZ Dammit I was all but convinced this was an awful plan and you’ve just reignited that spark of hope that it’s genuine!! I’m going to do some (non grave related) digging on the location of the business!

*Anyone else look on Gumtree?

I found the ad! Looks like a dungeon! *

Searches Gumtree..... 👀

I've just found one in Leicester Square!

So bloody weird. Prices advertised but free 'if agreed'

What does it mean ?!?

To answer a PPs question - yes the guy did reply to the email and we’ve provisionally booked in for next week! No pictures on the ad I found though so hoping people have found a different dungeon.

Son reckons deep tissue is a euphemism for organ harvest

Nah. Deep tissue means achieving depth through more, shall we say, interesting access to certain parts of the female anatomy, and not by using the masseur's hands, either.

Where did he do his training? Wormwood scrubs 😂

NoPlan - stop spoiling the sensationalist narrative!

Do you walk into cellars without switching the light on too?

It's not massage, it's tenderising. Check for evidence of a large stock pot.

To be honest, I'd be far less worried about being murdered than I would be about it being a totally shit massage

Humptydoo that is now my mantra 😂

Laurie that’s the one I found!

‘THIS IS NOT A SEXUAL SERVICE’

You know when you try and convince your friends of something so you exaggerate........