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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To give MIL a big waxy cock for Christmas?

227 replies

FestiveSchlong · 05/12/2018 20:27

My family don’t have a lot of money and I’m quite crafty so I do home made presents a lot of the time. This year I thought it would be a nice idea to make a little hamper of home-made luxuries like truffles, soaps and bath bombs, and scented candles.

We all love Game of Thrones, so I thought it would be cool to make white candles with a blood red centre, and then carve it to look like one of the weirwood trees. So I made a lot of red, cinnamon scented wax and poured it into Molds made out of bog roll tubes.

The results were a bit lumpen, but not awful, but then I started coating the red wax with the white and now they look like a load of big pink veiny willies. Do you think I can salvage them? Or should I just give as is and pretend they’re meant to be erotic candles? They smell really nice but look horrible.

To give MIL a big waxy cock for Christmas?
OP posts:
FestiveSchlong · 07/12/2018 09:03

Update: I may have redeemed the Wankee Candles. What do you think?

To give MIL a big waxy cock for Christmas?
OP posts:
CryingMessFFS · 07/12/2018 09:06

😂 they look amazing now! Not cock/meat slab like any more. Scary trees?

cloudtree · 07/12/2018 10:08

I'm a bit sad to see them go

MyKingdomForBrie · 07/12/2018 10:18

You're an absolute genius!!

ElusiveButterfly · 07/12/2018 10:19

They actually look really cool now Shock

CoffeeWithMyOxygen · 07/12/2018 10:53

Can I just recap? You found a silicon minge in your garden. Instead of throwing it away, you decided to upcycle it as a temporary rock-substitute in a home-made water feature, for which you then constructed feet out of polymer clay?

I am CRYING with laughter at this!

SantaBabycharly · 07/12/2018 11:08

They look really ghoul now !

SpamChaudFroid · 07/12/2018 11:54

Brilliant, FestiveSchlong! (I see you didn't follow my "pop them in a cool oven" suggestion!) The 2 on each end look like leering sex pests and the one in the middle looks rather sad at their Sid James attitudes..

TheFirstOHN · 07/12/2018 12:26

They do look a lot better now. Half weirwood tree, half cylindrical zombie pumpkin.

lovingmothervanessa · 07/12/2018 12:35

This reply has been deleted

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Kittykat93 · 07/12/2018 12:43

One of those candles looks a bit like the sorting hat from Harry potter now! Grin

delboysskinandblister · 07/12/2018 18:27

or Dr Seuss Xmas Grin

KeepServingTheDrinks · 08/12/2018 09:29

They look a bit halloween-y, but fabulous.

I preferred them the original way. But I guess they make better presents now.

You're very gifted, OP.

This thread's been very amusing!

CrabbityRabbit · 08/12/2018 10:02

Oh wow they look great now! 100% would be happy receiving them as gifts. All 3 togther. Don't split them up.

SantaBabycharly · 08/12/2018 10:31

Yes , you went to a lot of hubble, boil , and trouble , making those.
Terrifying Trio.

joolshou · 08/12/2018 17:21

Fab. Love it!!

category12 · 08/12/2018 17:45

They still look a bit pants, sorry, OP. They're amusing tho.

LucheroTena · 08/12/2018 19:25

Don’t listen to category op, they’re fabulous. Keep them as a trio though

Ireallywantmylifeback · 08/12/2018 20:54

What an absolute gift this thread has been. OP you are a crafty genius.
I cried laughing at the minge water feature too. Bonus 🤣🤣🤣

Loyaultemelie · 08/12/2018 22:25

I'm disappointed at how professionally halloweenish they are now (although I'd still buy them!)

SantaClauseMightWork · 08/12/2018 22:34

Sorry to derail the thread but I am am speechless at spam’s very symmetrical, very pink vagina and the monstrous catheter coming out of it. What a depiction of the pain and sufferings of modern woman.

Mydogsanasshole · 09/12/2018 00:19

It’s like a colonoscopy on legs!! 🤣🤣

GinGiminey · 09/12/2018 00:45

Well everything was very amusing and then the six legged, cathetered vagina tipped me over the edge! 😂
Such a good thread, but has left me feeling jealous that I don’t get random sex toys thrown into my garden! 😆

needtogetagrip · 09/12/2018 00:55

Wankee candles 😂😂😂

GinandGingerBeer · 09/12/2018 08:34

They look like lard with angry faces now. Name it Lardattack. Grin