To give MIL a big waxy cock for Christmas?

[FestiveSchlong]

My family don’t have a lot of money and I’m quite crafty so I do home made presents a lot of the time. This year I thought it would be a nice idea to make a little hamper of home-made luxuries like truffles, soaps and bath bombs, and scented candles.

We all love Game of Thrones, so I thought it would be cool to make white candles with a blood red centre, and then carve it to look like one of the weirwood trees. So I made a lot of red, cinnamon scented wax and poured it into Molds made out of bog roll tubes.

The results were a bit lumpen, but not awful, but then I started coating the red wax with the white and now they look like a load of big pink veiny willies. Do you think I can salvage them? Or should I just give as is and pretend they’re meant to be erotic candles? They smell really nice but look horrible.

Oh OP ...sometimes things just really don't pan out as planned do they . They absolutely look like someone's morbidly hacked the end off of three rather girthy...appendages.
I couldn't give these as gifts, other than for a laugh before presenting an actual gift to the recipient. I'd save them and tell myself i was keeping them for a power cut or similar to mentally write off the 'waste'.

@SpamChaudFroid , OMG , that should be in an art gallery. It is a surreal creation.
What is it supposed to be ?

I went back ...a water feature .

Obscene Discworld Luggage!

I found the silicone minge in the garden! It's enclosed by a 12' wall, so someone must have lobbed it over. Or possibly one of the cats dragged it back. I did pop it into a bucket of disinfectant, just to be on the safe side.

Can I buy one from you? Had a massive argument with DP and thinking one of your candles would be a perfect Christmas present. I’ll call it The Lorena Bobbit candle. Hopefully he’ll ge the hint.

Ok op your candle cocks are quite frankly terrible

But @SpamChaudFroid

What in the mother of holy Jesus is THAT?!?!?! 😂😂😂

I have just had a closer look . It is indeed a minge.
You could start a thread about strangest item (s ) found in your garden !

Can't. Breathe. Crying.

Silicon minge water feature with fimo feet. I'm wondering if it's based on some Greek mythical character

Im having a difficult day and this has really cheered me up :)

Almost choked on my beans on toast at that garden minge feature.

SpamChaudFroid
Can I just recap? You found a silicon minge in your garden. Instead of throwing it away, you decided to upcycle it as a temporary rock-substitute in a home-made water feature, for which you then constructed feet out of polymer clay?

you gotta respect that level of commitment to recycling.

I like them, i'd love to have one for Christmas!!

It sounds worse the way you write it TheFirst.

OP, we should open an Etsy shop for our horrible hand made gifts!

You could stand them in shallow boxes of shredded brown tissue paper. Or ginge, I suppose. For artistic context.

Thanks for this OP and the water feature person also.
I have now discovered the internet has lots of examples of Crafting Gone Wrong...

@SpamChaudFroid brilliant idea! This time next year, Rodney, we’ll be millionaires!

Does anyone else have any travesties they want to display in the Mumsnet museum of Shitty Homemade gifts?

Tbf festiveshlong this is just the kind of shit homemade gift I love, when you and spam open for business I'll be your best customer.

OP, we should open an Etsy shop for our horrible hand made gifts!

I would seriously love both the candles and the minge table/luggage cousin and would pay actual money to own them!!!

Love crafts gone wrong.

They remind me of spring rolls.

They are hilarious! Would love to see recipient's face 😘

I think I’m going to try and fix them. If I can’t, we’ll... at least it’s a shit Xmas gift thatbis socially acceptable to set on fire!

Put them on things for sale

Crying laughing 😂🤣😂. They look like a dismembered leg.