To give MIL a big waxy cock for Christmas?

[FestiveSchlong]

My family don’t have a lot of money and I’m quite crafty so I do home made presents a lot of the time. This year I thought it would be a nice idea to make a little hamper of home-made luxuries like truffles, soaps and bath bombs, and scented candles.

We all love Game of Thrones, so I thought it would be cool to make white candles with a blood red centre, and then carve it to look like one of the weirwood trees. So I made a lot of red, cinnamon scented wax and poured it into Molds made out of bog roll tubes.

The results were a bit lumpen, but not awful, but then I started coating the red wax with the white and now they look like a load of big pink veiny willies. Do you think I can salvage them? Or should I just give as is and pretend they’re meant to be erotic candles? They smell really nice but look horrible.

they like Romanian sarmale

Could you not put one on top of the other and make one big waxy cock. How do you know it isn't top of her wish list?

If my DIL made me one I would genuinely treasure it btw

Thanks OP it’s been a long day and your veiny cock candles have just given me a proper laugh. I say, spread the joy

this

THANK YOU!!!! (nothing more helpful to add. Well actually I've just remembered one of the dd's boyfriend's mum's is very into handcrafted stuff... this might be an out-law gift too far though...)

They look like the rejected cuts at a butchers shop.

agree melt into something like nice teacups to disguise shape and colour. Hats off to you for effort though

Did you dip them into cold water between wax layers? I think that’s what you’re supposed to do

what category would they be listed under on Ebay?

I actually cannot stop laughing

I’m torn as to whether wonky veiny cock candles should be reserved for good friends ( because they could be forgiving), or for enemies.
It so much depends on your relationship with your mil.

So these are the Famous hobbies that people speak of on here

actually laughed out loud at "trio of chodes"...

what category would they be listed under on Ebay?

^^

Non refundable?

Sorry OP they are horrific. But also amazing 😂😂😂

You could smarten them up and make them less... gnarly by putting them in a slightly warm oven and tweaking a bit when malleable?

I want one 😀

Could someone tell me how to do the laughing face?

I giggled when I clicked on the photo but aww, it's the thought that counts and that's a sweet idea. I'd give them one!

because your wicks look too small, when you burn them you are going to find they burn in the middle only and all of the red wax turns liquid whilst the sides remain. They will look even more mutilated (if that's even possible!)

Looks like meat 😂

I would LOVE it if someone gave me these, bloody brilliant!

If you do what @SpamChaudFroid says, can you video it please

Not On The High Street might sell then, if your MIL wouldn’t appreciate their unique genius.

@SpamChaudFroid

You could smarten them up and make them less... gnarly by putting them in a slightly warm oven and tweaking a bit when malleable? I may have just fallen off the chair giggling.