To give MIL a big waxy cock for Christmas?

[FestiveSchlong]

My family don’t have a lot of money and I’m quite crafty so I do home made presents a lot of the time. This year I thought it would be a nice idea to make a little hamper of home-made luxuries like truffles, soaps and bath bombs, and scented candles.

We all love Game of Thrones, so I thought it would be cool to make white candles with a blood red centre, and then carve it to look like one of the weirwood trees. So I made a lot of red, cinnamon scented wax and poured it into Molds made out of bog roll tubes.

The results were a bit lumpen, but not awful, but then I started coating the red wax with the white and now they look like a load of big pink veiny willies. Do you think I can salvage them? Or should I just give as is and pretend they’re meant to be erotic candles? They smell really nice but look horrible.

Try to carve a face into one of them and see how it goes. But you must post another photo of the result.

😂😂😂brilliant

Ohhh this has made me laugh!
They are hilariously horrendous and you should definitely tell them the story while handing everyone one each. It will raise a right laugh.

Wonderful effort

Oh my - I am properly laughing out loud at this thread.

Thanks OP! You have spread more joy than you know. Home made cock candles for the win

They look like spring rolls with raw offal filling
Better than veiny cocks though.

If they smell lovely though, could you remelt them into a jar and decorate the outside?

Melt them down and start again. Don't use bog roll tubes as a mould.

Or sell them on Facebook. People seem to buy any old shit off there.

I love a homemade present but not one that looks like a used tampon! That is not a wick I’d like to burn! 😱

They look like Vietnamese Spring Rolls. Put them on their sides and tell them you wanted to embrace Vietnamese culture.

Thank you for making me laugh. Either
A) Team with a bottle of wine and give them as a comedy present if your MIL will appreciate it
Or
B) melt and pour into jam jars with some artistic ribbon.

Full marks for effort, though. If you do go ahead and give them "au natural", you need to come back and report on the reaction!

It's the drunken leaning that really gets me going. How have they all managed to slump sideways OP? Did your moulds burst at the base?

piefacedClique OH GOD NOW I CAN’T UNSEE THAT

😂😂😂😂 they do not look remotely cock like...they look fucking awful though..

I would also say that your wick looks too thin for your cockcandle and so you're unlikely to get a good burn on them (although clearly they are intended mainly for display )

In all seriousness, f you genuinely want them to be a nice present I would melt them down and use 2/3 wicks in a jam jar.

Post them on a selling page and wait to see if they pop up on the Facebook tat thread that's currently running.......

Save them for next year, Halloween.

That photo has properly made me laugh. Thanks OP that has cheered me up even though I know that was not the intention

It’s ok OP, just roll them in glitter and stick them on Facebook Marketplace for a tenner a piece. I promise you they will not be out of place!

xiaoxiong They were straight when they came out of the molds, they started doing the lean when I put the white wax on. Maybe I didn’t wait long enough for the red inner part of harden enough before I put the white on?

You’d never guess but this is my first time making candles!

They don’t look nearly so nice as cocks.

This is fantastic!

Cross post with toomany there!

Give them away? What are you thinking of?

Come up with a name and sell them on Facebook. Have a look at the FB tat threads. These beauties are fine craftsmanship compared with some of the shite that’s on those.

Maybe: Pagan fertility candles - any size you like (orders preferred for XXL - XXXXXL).

Sorted!

Get cheap glasses or mugs at your local Charity shop and melt the wax into them. A lot of the mugs etc look new. There will then be a use for the receptacle when the candle has been used. Mugs will also hide the muddy colour.