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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Weekly overnight stay at GPs

243 replies

Goostacean · 13/09/2018 14:14

In the middle of an ongoing negotiation with DH re childcare. PFB so we don't know what we're doing Grin

How will a toddler (15 months +) be affected by sleeping at grandparents', once a week?

Hypothetical situation: Monday daytime with DM (and DF when he's back from work around 6pm), overnight at GPs, Tuesday dropped back at home in the afternoon, and DM/MIL stay until we get home from work. So toddler would see a parent on Monday morning, and Tuesday evening/night. Nursery Weds-Fri.

We don't see eye-to-eye, and neither do parents/in-laws. AIBU to ask for your views? Not posting mine yet as don't want to sway the responses!

OP posts:
Luxembourgmama · 13/09/2018 14:15

I'd snap their hands off at that offer. Kid will be fine.

Bluelady · 13/09/2018 14:16

Toddler and grandparents will all love it. Sounds win/win to me.

GoodHeavensNoImAChicken · 13/09/2018 14:17

I’d do it for sure

raisedbyguineapigs · 13/09/2018 14:18

I think that would be fine for the child. It's not as if they are there all week and they will be asleep for a lot of it. It's the adults that I'd be worried about. Would you worry too much? Are the gp's underestimating the work that goes into looking after a toddler, getting them to bed and maybe getting up at night?

TrueLoveWays · 13/09/2018 14:18

It worked for us. DD loved spending time with grandparents and vice versa.

BlaaBlaaBlaa · 13/09/2018 14:18

Sounds wonderful. What a great way for your child to bond with their grandparents. Plus you and DH get a evening a week together.

I would LOVE that.

Guiltypleasures001 · 13/09/2018 14:19

They will be fine op

I used to spend every day with my Nan when my parents both worked, and sometimes went out with my dad in his lorry with me and the dog 😁

I'm 52 this month, I have some fab memory's and my dads only 71 😁

Medea13 · 13/09/2018 14:19

Sounds great!

Itsatravesty · 13/09/2018 14:19

Mine has stayed over at his GP's once a week since he was 1 year old. He's now 10 and still does even though he doesn't have to. How has it affected him? Well he has a lovely close bond with his GP's.

Frogscotch7 · 13/09/2018 14:20

The toddler would probably love it but it would be too long for me.

QforCucumber · 13/09/2018 14:20

sounds fine to me. I have to drop ds off at mil house twice a week, would be so much easier if he stayed over there - would save rushing about.

Joinourclub · 13/09/2018 14:21

Sounds fine to me. What time would the toddler be dropped off at GPs on the Monday? My DCs were ready for their baths at 6 when they were that age.

BertrandRussell · 13/09/2018 14:21

Sounds perfect to me!

My pils used to have all their grandchildren one night a week- well, all the ones who lived near enough, and the others when they were visiting. Pils loved having a tribe (11 children with a 10 year age span at it's height) and the children loved being together. And the parents went out or stayed in or worked knowing the children were having fun.

NoLeslie · 13/09/2018 14:23

Not if all the adults don't see eye to eye. E.g. it is too regular for the child to be spoilt rotten and you end up never treating them yourself as you are trying to balance out their sweet intake.

Ghanagirl · 13/09/2018 14:23

Really wish I could have done that when I returned to work.
Sounds lovely plus gives you and DH some couple time

user139328237 · 13/09/2018 14:23

Its fine as long as the other set of grandparents don't want a similar arrangement that you are unwilling to allow (unless there is a very good reason (which differing parenting styles is not)).

Milkmonster2 · 13/09/2018 14:23

Sounds like a great arrangement. Also you and your partner can have an evening to yourselves on a Monday night!

sleepingdragon · 13/09/2018 14:24

My niece started staying at her grandparents at about 20 months, and loved it. Because she got so much from her visits my nephew (her brother) started sang just before age 2, and was very upset and couldnt manage to sleep a nigjt away from home. A year later he was fine,but not the couple of times they tried it in between. My son is coming up to 5 and will tolerate sleeping somewhere without me but doesn't like it (although if it happened more reguarly he may get used to it?) So I think it very much depends on the child

Hellohah · 13/09/2018 14:24

DS13 has slept at grandparents from about 6 months. He still stays one night a week, every week, except school holidays. He has his own room etc ... He has a great relationship with his grandparents, which I think is really important to all of them.

ThePricklySheep · 13/09/2018 14:25

Depends on the GPs I’d say!

Original poster
Goostacean · 13/09/2018 14:25

What time would he be dropped off?
Morning, around 9am, or DM might come and pick him up. They'd be together all day.

Would I worry?
Hard to say... currently I'm sole carer during the week as DH works abroad Mon-Thurs, so a night off sounds idyllic! Might change my mind, but we could always cancel the arrangement. I trust both DM/MIL implicitly, so not worried in that way.

An evening together?
Sadly it's more likely to spend working late! But it would be my only evening to do that and I got promoted on mat leave so really keen to have the chance to give the new role a proper go for one, maybe two, evening(s) without having to rush off for nursery pick ups.

OP posts:
Holidayfromreal · 13/09/2018 14:27

I wouldn't like it or do it personally but I don't think it would effect the child in any negative way.

NerrSnerr · 13/09/2018 14:28

If everyone agrees then it seems great. It wouldn't be for me but that's more to do with lack of trustworthy grandparents.

Original poster
Goostacean · 13/09/2018 14:28

Making the arrangement fair to PIL is a concern, yes... But they live 10 mins away, and the nursery is literally around the corner from their house. So it would be easier to give them more time, or pop in on weekends etc. My parents are 40 mins away, so "popping in" takes most of the day.

OP posts:
bellsbuss · 13/09/2018 14:29

My mum has always had her grandchildren from age 3 months overnight , my children see her home as a second home. I think it creates a lovely bond between them