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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Man told my baby to shut up.

170 replies

InTheLightOfTheMoon · 16/07/2018 20:38

Was on the bus earlier. Dd (14 months) was fussing and moaning, more of a moan than a full on cry. I was trying to soothe her the best I could she was on my lap. Anyway after a few minutes a man opposite me said "shut up!" I turned to him rather shocked thinking maybe I had misheard so I said "excuse me?" he proceeded to tell me that she was giving him a head ache and she needs to shut up. Aibu to ask how others who have reacted to this? I was so shocked that anyone would tell a baby to shut up.

OP posts:
student26 · 16/07/2018 20:40

That’s awful! I think I would have been a bit gobsmacked but would have liked to say ‘are you aware that’s she only a baby?!’ Some people!!

SharronNeedles · 16/07/2018 20:40

I'd have smiled sweetly and told him exactly where he could stick his opinion. Or started singing my own rendition of baby shark

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 16/07/2018 20:41

Ah well. We’ve all thought it!

Royallypissedoff1 · 16/07/2018 20:41

Did you try to comfort the baby?
If not and you just let her cry then maybe he was getting frustrated?
I'm not sure OP but if you were trying your best to calm her, he was unreasonable and rude!

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 16/07/2018 20:42

Well, everyone’s thinking it, he just said it 🤷‍♀️

Stopitjuststopit2018 · 16/07/2018 20:42

I would have first encouraged my baby to make as much noise as possible and then proceeded with over the top coo-ing

Grumpy sod

Original poster
InTheLightOfTheMoon · 16/07/2018 20:43

Yes she was on my lap, not in the
pram. I wouldnt just leave her to cry without trying to stop her.

OP posts:
expatinspain · 16/07/2018 20:44

People think a lot of rude shit, doesn't mean everyone should go around saying it!

Babdoc · 16/07/2018 20:45

Typical entitled male, expecting a female to shut up and stop inconveniencing him! I’d have been tempted to plonk the crying child on his lap and tell him to have a go at soothing her if he thinks it’s so simple!

RoseGoldEagle · 16/07/2018 20:45

Some people are just rude. Clearly no matter how great a parent you are you can’t always stop a 14 month old baby from being upset/ making noise. Ignore and don’t give him another thought.

TornFromTheInside · 16/07/2018 20:45

Horrible excuse for a man.

Should have said 'I can't reasonably expect a 14 month old to keep their mouth shut, but I'd certainly have expected a grown up to be capable of it'

SyrilSneer · 16/07/2018 20:46

I’m really depressed at the moment and it’s making me very sensitive to noise. I spend most of my time in public places thinking shut up shut up shut uuuuupppp and tbh it’s just luck I haven’t let it fall out of my mouth! Just forget about it, it’s not about you or your baby. No one feeling entirely themselves would do this.

Bombardier25966 · 16/07/2018 20:49

Typical entitled male, expecting a female to shut up and stop inconveniencing him!

I expect the reaction would be the same to a male baby. Crappest reason to pull the misogyny card!

DitheringBlidiot · 16/07/2018 20:50

Behave yourself Babdoc. Yeah the man was unreasonable because who tells a baby to shut up even when you're thinking it! I'd consider myself a pretty strong feminist and don't see how you've come to your conclusion.

Pengggwn · 16/07/2018 20:51

I'd have told him to piss off. Horrible man.

TornFromTheInside · 16/07/2018 20:53

He is 'entitled' because he's assumed his needs come before those of a baby. It's not necessarily misogyny or sexism, it's just (in this case) a bloke being an arse.

HotSauceCommittee · 16/07/2018 20:53

Babdoc has a point; it’s not about the gender of the sprog, but that of the parent. Do you think that unpleasant male would have said it to a big muscly dad with a fussy baby on his lap?
No, no he wouldn’t.

Racecardriver · 16/07/2018 20:54

'You do realise that she can't understand you right?'

Paperdove87 · 16/07/2018 20:54

You know, he may have had SN. I can imagine my sister doing something like this. You wouldn't know to talk to her superficially that she has SN but she is on the spectrum and wouldn't know this was inappropriate. She finds social situations very challenging.

Otherwise incredibly rude!

snowsun · 16/07/2018 20:55

May be he's in pain, feeling low or stressed and it caused him to snap. Maybe the crying was the last straw.
He shouldn't have done it but I'm thinking people who do stuff like that are grumpy for a reason rather than that's their personality.

Original poster
InTheLightOfTheMoon · 16/07/2018 20:55

I know if my ex was there he wouldnt have said it! actually made me start missing my ex for a second. Its true these things are more often said to women.

OP posts:
PurpleFlower1983 · 16/07/2018 20:56

He just said what everyone else was thinking but I agree it’s a bit rude to come out with it!

Stoveding · 16/07/2018 20:56

I would have ignored him I think maybe given a weak smile. I always felt vulnerable when I was out alone with my babe.

HotSauceCommittee · 16/07/2018 20:57

Maybe he’s just a horrible twat.

Verbena87 · 16/07/2018 20:57

Should have said 'I can't reasonably expect a 14 month old to keep their mouth shut, but I'd certainly have expected a grown up to be capable of it'

This, this, this 👍🏼

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