Man told my baby to shut up.

[InTheLightOfTheMoon]

Was on the bus earlier. Dd (14 months) was fussing and moaning, more of a moan than a full on cry. I was trying to soothe her the best I could she was on my lap. Anyway after a few minutes a man opposite me said "shut up!" I turned to him rather shocked thinking maybe I had misheard so I said "excuse me?" he proceeded to tell me that she was giving him a head ache and she needs to shut up. Aibu to ask how others who have reacted to this? I was so shocked that anyone would tell a baby to shut up.

It's just an unpleasant fact - your kid annoys other people sometimes, and they don't need to sit silently and put up with it if they don't want too

And workmen in the road digging a hole can be irksome, but nobody walks up to them and tells them to shut up.
Ambulances screaming at midnight too...

But we accept it's a fact of life and a necessary fact.
Why's that acceptance not afforded to an innocent baby?

I can't understand why some posters are suggesting that the man was in any way justified in telling a baby to shut up. Obviously it's annoying, we've all been there, but even in the days before I had DDs I would have felt sympathy for the mum, who was obviously doing her best.

And surely everyone knows that a baby won't stop crying because a strange man tells her to shut up, but may instead cry even more.

As much as I would’ve wanted to tell him to go fuck himself, I would probably have worried about him being unhinged and I’d have been worried about my personal safety (I always felt vulnerable when out with my babies).

Contrary to what some people on here have said, in my experience, an upset child in public normally illicits a ‘poor you, I feel your pain’ response.

💐💐💐 for you OP

I would have thought of a witty retort. Sadly it would have been about an hour after I got of the bus

But ambulances and workmen are providing a service. I find screaming babies to be intolerable tbh, but I'd never tell one to shut up. The guy was probably at his limit or had mental health isssues like many guys do today.

You know, he may have had SN. I can imagine my sister doing something like this. You wouldn't know to talk to her superficially that she has SN

I must say I thought this, or MH problems. I’ve worked with people who wouldn’t be able to control their reaction to an irritating noise (not saying that’s what your baby is OP but that’s how they’d perceive it!) and/or wouldn’t understand why doing this wasn’t okay.

I admit it, I can't stand noisy children. I'm not child friendly at all. But a 14 month old having a whinge on a bus, there isn't much you can do about it other than pop her on your lap and soothe her. Most bus journeys are no more than half an hour anyway. Small children should be told to follow instructions and behave, but babies can't be expected to understand that. YANBU.

I’d have rolled my eyes and chatted loudly to me baby about the very rude silly man.

@TornFromTheInside

Because we have free speech. However unkind and rude it is, he is allowed to voice his annoyance at an irritating sound.

And as I said, OP doesn't need to take any notice of him. He can whine and complain, but you can ignore it and hold your head high. It doesn't need to have anything to do with you. I don't allow random rudeness to ruin my day; just get thicker skin and ignore.

You cannot control the manners or random strangers around you. But you can control how you choose to react to it, and I choose to not let it affect my life.

Then he could have removed himself from the situation? Its public transport there will be noise. The secondary school kids round here are unbelievable for noise. much louder than My baby but ive never seen anyone tell them to shut up! probably know they would get a slap if they did.

I think the baby will probably get over it.

What a prick. Wouldn't have been so brave if it were a burly man talking who was annoying him would he.

@Royallypissedoff1 it's in the op

I was trying to soothe her the best I could she was on my lap

Op the guy clearly has issues of some sort. Don't worry about it, the vast majority of people understand that babies and toddlers can be noisy.

i'd of told him to go and fuck himself.

What did you say to him?

I’d have rolled my eyes and chatted loudly to me baby about the very rude silly man.

I like this suggestion. Will try this if It ever happens again. Hopefully it wont though.

@TornFromTheInside

And where in my post sis I say that he'd have no reason to complain about workmen or noise from sirens? Where did I say he'd have no reason to be annoyed at other sounds?

He might very well also ask workmen to quieten down etc... That's totally up to him if he wants to go around doing that. But it's got nothing to do with the OP. This isn't an either/or situation. We can be annoyed by noisy roadworks and noisy babies if we want to be.

We don't have free speech actually. We are not at liberty to say whatever we liked. Certainly not in the UK.

However, that aside, with the power of speech comes the responsibility of using it wisely.
There is no wisdom in making demands of a baby. Ergo, there was no wisdom in his speech. He abused his power of speech.

Personally, I'd also ignore posters suggestions to make snide comments about him being an arsehole etc. If he's already at breaking point (which is possible) you don't know how he might react to being antagonised. I don't think thanks the right situation to disregard you and your baby's safety to score a point tbh.

That sounds really unpleasant.

I know if either of my children make much noise at all out I get a bit stressed. I can feel my heart race a bit actually - especially if it is crying or noise I know people find hard to tolerate. I am probably more irritating shooshing and quieting than the kids are

I can imagine sitting on the bus already feeling hot and sweaty and anxiously trying to get the baby to settle a bit.

Responding like this man was really unacceptable. There could be 101 reasons why he did it but none of them make it nice or right that he did it.

I hope you can chuck this one in the fuck it bucket, OP. Who knows what his reasons were and I hope he is ok but I hope you are too

You should have launched into a rousing rendition of The Wheels on the Bus. With added verses. The twats on the bus go shut up shut up shut up .,.,,,,

@TornFromTheInside

As long as it's not racist/phobic/harassing then we can pretty much say what we like. And there's no law that we need to be wise.

The guy was rude, but who cares? It doesn't affect OP's life... Just ignore it and get on with your day. Really, next week is this going to be a headline in what happened in your life?

People are rude. Babies can be annoying. Occasionally a rude person will say something. Big woop.

Of course we can be annoyed by them.
But it's futile to express an objection to a baby.

What a world we would live in if everybody expressed their annoyance at things that they cannot influence. I trust you're not advocating this?

You can dress it up as much as you like, but trying to tell a baby to shut up is not a form of rational protest, it's ignorant, futile and rude.

Ursula 😂😂😂

i hate small children, and wailing, fussing babies set my teeth on edge. That said, although I might be thinking "shut the fuck up! " I wouldnt actually say it to a parent trying to calm a crying child. its fucking annoying, but not as if its done on purpose.