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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Man told my baby to shut up.

170 replies

InTheLightOfTheMoon · 16/07/2018 20:38

Was on the bus earlier. Dd (14 months) was fussing and moaning, more of a moan than a full on cry. I was trying to soothe her the best I could she was on my lap. Anyway after a few minutes a man opposite me said "shut up!" I turned to him rather shocked thinking maybe I had misheard so I said "excuse me?" he proceeded to tell me that she was giving him a head ache and she needs to shut up. Aibu to ask how others who have reacted to this? I was so shocked that anyone would tell a baby to shut up.

OP posts:
LongSummerDays · 16/07/2018 20:58

Wonder what other commands he expects babies to react to?

Go to sleep? zzzzzzz Grin

Topseyt · 16/07/2018 20:58

I'd have been tempted to turn to him and say "shut up yourself", but that might be me being a hothead.

9amTrain · 16/07/2018 20:58

Tell him to piss the fuck off.

ShotsFired · 16/07/2018 21:02

Yeah he probably shouldn't have said it out loud but it was likely what everyone was thinking.

It's not like your baby took personal offence at it either, so just shrug it off as some bloke having a twatty bad day.

RoadToRivendell · 16/07/2018 21:09

It's just public transit crankiness. Nod and smile.

bastardkitty · 16/07/2018 21:11

Best to tell him to fuck off or kick him hard in the shins - ideally both!

Heatherjayne1972 · 16/07/2018 21:12

Not saying it’s right or even possible but some people do expect children to be quiet in public places
(I was married to one - couldn’t bear the sound of babies crying / making noises etc)

Yes he was rude and he was probably saying it to you more than your baby
it’s hurtful And he’s a plonker

cdtaylornats · 16/07/2018 21:13

He has as much right to tell your baby to shut up as it has to make a noise.

TornFromTheInside · 16/07/2018 21:16

He has as much right to tell your baby to shut up as it has to make a noise.

Any adult who chooses to exert such a 'right' over a baby deserves my right to call them an ubertwattingfuckbollock

Problematique · 16/07/2018 21:16

Someone will be along in a minute to say that he may not be complete neurotypical.

In fact I'll say it...some people struggle a great deal with sensory issues and the sound of someone else's baby crying is difficult to hear for anyone.

He may have been a plonker, or he may have been someone with sensory issues struggling to cope. You can't really tell by looking at someone.

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 16/07/2018 21:17

Best to tell him to fuck off or kick him hard in the shins - ideally both!

bastardkitty Advocating violence is unacceptable, as is joking about it.

9amTrain · 16/07/2018 21:18

@cdtaylornats you are aware that it's a baby?!

Squirrelinatree · 16/07/2018 21:18

Similar thing happened to me in a department store cafe. My 9 week old baby was crying as he had bad reflux and a milk allergy we didn't know about and well, was 9 weeks old! Woman comes over to me and tells me 'you can't let him carry on like that in here' in a quite aggressive tone. Made me not want to go out in public for a few days after, but soon realised the idiots are the minority.

TornFromTheInside · 16/07/2018 21:19

There are more ubertwattingfuckbollocks in this world than there are crying baby intolerants.
I know where I'm hedging my bets!

rosesandflowers1 · 16/07/2018 21:19

I think I'd have been too shocked to say anything! He told your baby to shut up?

I don't think it's misogyny at all. That's so outside social norms I can only imagine it was an outburst from a deeply unpleasant man or one suffering from an extremely painful hangover or circumstance.

SayNoToCarrots · 16/07/2018 21:21

I'd have looked him in the eye and started screaming along with her.

rosesandflowers1 · 16/07/2018 21:21

He has as much right to tell your baby to shut up as it has to make a noise.

People have a right to do lots of things. It doesn't mean they're nice or acceptable things to do.

TheSheepofWallSt · 16/07/2018 21:22

Not everyone thinks it.

You know when I hear a baby crying on public transport, my first thought is generally “that poor bloody parent must be hating this”

If I manage to catch their eye, I’ll smile, and say something that isn’t “shut up” more usually it’s “I’ve been there!” Or “oh dear- can I help at all?”

You know, because I’m not an unrelenting cuntbadger about small humans showing negative emotion in public.

Rocinante1 · 16/07/2018 21:22

Whether you like it or not, a baby fussing and crying is an inconvenience and annoyance to other people. When my 2 were little, I always hated them acting up in small spaces because other people didn't choose to have my kids, but they were having to put up with the noise.
And when I'm out without the kids, the last thing I want to be stuck hearing is another kid crying. It's just an unpleasant fact - your kid annoys other people sometimes, and they don't need to sit silently and put up with it if they don't want too. It might make them rude or mean spirited, but so? They didn't ask to listen to crying. You just need to hold your head high and get on with it.

mumsastudent · 16/07/2018 21:22

no one else on the bus? does he not realize that he would have made the same noises when he was a baby? Out of interest what age do you think he was? I know people are saying he may have issues but he frightened you & that was not fair. Babies can only communicate by crying - its amazing how many times we read on mumsnet mother's being criticized by people who are ignorant about real life with their children & assuming if only this "stupid woman" would do what they believe is abetter way their dc would be quiet and obedient whether they are a baby or disabled or ill. - makes me cross & upset for mums treated this way.

JelliedFeels · 16/07/2018 21:23

She’s 1.

John4703 · 16/07/2018 21:24

If I have followed this, your baby was in your arms and you were looking after your baby. I have the utmost respect for you that you did not hit him and throw him off the bus.

I can admit to being annoyed when a mother seemed to totally ignore a screaming baby on a bus but I realise this is only a small snapshot of her life so who am I to criticise?

LifeImplosionImminent · 16/07/2018 21:24

I was on a plane once when a poor mite was absolutely inconsolable the whole flight and just got louder on descent. I wanted to open the exit door and jump out but I didn't once think to voice my anguish. Babies can't help it. Tell any grumpy old gits that those "noisy kids" will grow up to pay his pension one day.

I do praise the parents of those absolute angels that happily sit quietly playing on planes - those rare unicorns!

KaliforniaDreamz · 16/07/2018 21:25

The noise of a toddler goes right through me but i wouldn't dream of being such a twat as to be verbally aggressive to one. What a prize wanker. And yeah, it does reek of misogyny.

Takfujimoto · 16/07/2018 21:25

Next time maintain eye contact, hunch your shoulders up by your ears and Hiss really loudly until you spray some spittle in their direction.

Shuts people right up.