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AIBU?

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Original poster

Ungrateful kid-gutted

291 replies

Miladamermalada · 21/06/2018 06:43

Todays my sons birthday hes 14
Am single mum he had a party got loads of presents.
Wanted an xbox earphones and games. I skint myself to get thes and i mean skint. Ive no food bin bags nothing.
Hes just opened the xbox before anything else and thrown the wrapper on the floor in a strop and refused to speak. Apparently its the wrong one.
I usually take photos as they open presents but im so disgusted Ive come to bed crying.
I must have spent 500 quid.
Never again.
Ive raised entitled little bastards. His brother-also barged in my bedroom demanding to know where his tie was at 06 00. I have chronic illness and said he cant come in but he can knock after 7.
Aibu to ask where i have gone wrong.

OP posts:
Haberpop · 21/06/2018 06:49

I feel for you but spending £500 when it means going without things you need is just foolish. Parents are not bottomless pits of money and it does no harm to not give children gifts you can't afford.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 21/06/2018 06:50

Well, spending everything including food money would be a start. This shows him his wishes are paramount. Take the fucking thing back. (Sorry, this makes me cross on your behalf.)

CoffeeWithMyOxygen · 21/06/2018 06:52

Return the XBox. Buy food and essentials instead. Make it clear that because of his disgustingly entitled attitude he now won’t be getting a console at all, and you will be ready to hear his apology once he’s grown up and is ready to take responsibility.

FairyAnn · 21/06/2018 06:52

Same as PP, take it all back, get your money and accept that sometimes they will have to go without getting what they want. Feel for you OP, you must have been so upset

shiklah · 21/06/2018 06:53

Take it back, get your money back and spend it on yourself. Don’t make the same mistake again.

Read ‘Mercury’s chid’ by Warwick dyer and watch his on line shows, he’s a genius at behavioural management for difficult dc.

cricketmum84 · 21/06/2018 06:53

Take it back and tell him to save up and buy his own, it might teach him the value of stuff!
I'm sorry it's been such a shit morning for you Thanks fingers crossed he has realised how out of order that is by the time he gets home from school this afternoon.

Drchinnery · 21/06/2018 06:53

I would be taking it back, maybe he'll learn that way

GinIsIn · 21/06/2018 06:54

Why are you prioritising an Xbox over food? I’m sorry but that’s nuts. You can’t teach them they can have whatever they want even when you can’t afford it then be surprised and upset they expect whatever they want. Take it back!

HeyDolly · 21/06/2018 06:55

I hope you’ve kept the receipt. Please take it back.

linadee25 · 21/06/2018 06:56

Didn’t want to read and run. YANBU. I’m sorry your DS has made you feel so upset. His reaction is completely out of order and If i were you I’d be picking up the Xbox and returning it along with the games.
It sounds like your son needs to learn the value of these things. Personally I think £500 is excessive for a birthday gift. I would return and spend the money on the things you said you really need!

user1483387154 · 21/06/2018 06:57

Take the stuff back and stop spoiling him. He needs to understand the value of money and appreciate anything he is given.

weemouse · 21/06/2018 06:57

Take it back. A life lesson he will have to learn the hard way.

My son was also recently ungrateful after a large birthday party we spent a lot on, and I've stopped all treats and removed the iPad indefinitely.

I'm very aware it's my own fault also and nipping it in the bud right now.

Food and essentials are much more important.

MrsExpo · 21/06/2018 06:58

I hope you kept the receipts. Collect up the stuff, return it and use the money for more essential things. Lesson learned OP. Say no nest time.

AllStar14 · 21/06/2018 06:58

Take it back. At 14 he is more than old enough to know better and to understand the value of money.

HuckfromScandal · 21/06/2018 06:59

Why on earth would you spend £500 on his bday
Why on earth would you spend that when you have no money
No wonder the child feels entitled, you are putting his desires in front of your basic needs.

TAKE IT BACK
AND then sort out your bloody priorities, or you will raise a self entitled prick who will walk all over all the people in his life because you have taught him to expect it.

Soloooo · 21/06/2018 06:59

Was it something he asked for? To be fair if he had set his heart on something and it’s the wrong one, he won’t want it. Ok he shouldn’t have a strop but he can’t pretend it’s what he wanted if it isn’t.

Gileswithachainsaw · 21/06/2018 07:00

Take it back.

Buy food.

He doesn't deserve it

pigeondujour · 21/06/2018 07:00

Obviously his behaviour is horrible and upsetting for you but I actually feel a bit sorry for him. He probably knows you've been going without for his birthday and feels guilty about it, tied in with major excitement about this present he's been really wanting, and then he opens it and it's not what he was expecting. He's only 14. Don't totally damn him as a little bastard yet.

Soloooo · 21/06/2018 07:00

14 year olds do have xboxes etc. I don’t think it makes him entitled.

justignorethecat · 21/06/2018 07:01

Right, you’re not going to like this, but here goes.

The way you speak about them is not respectful. It doesn’t surprise me that in turn they don’t show you respect. Buying people expensive things is not respecting them.

They and you have had huge life changes, you need to be kind to each other, but this needs to be led by you.

TheNoodlesIncident · 21/06/2018 07:02

I also think you should return it and not replace it with another. To be honest, you don't sound like your household can actually afford luxuries like that - don't forget the cost of additional games as well. They aren't cheap and your budget sounds too tight to allow for extras that aren't essential.

If you prioritise your kids' demands like that over household essentials, I'd say that's where you've "gone wrong". 14 is easily old enough to understand money doesn't grow on trees, and also old enough to start looking for ways to help the household income, like a paper round. He could start saving towards an XBox himself, then he'll appreciate things a bit more

MissionItsPossible · 21/06/2018 07:03

Ungrateful little brat. And I’m failing to see spending £500 on a console can be the “wrong one”, that’s the sort of price you pay for a brand new console on its release day. I would take it back and let him know exactly why due to his entitled behaviour.

ScreamingValenta · 21/06/2018 07:03

No advice, but Flowers. I hope at some point he realises what a dick he is being and apologises to you.

justignorethecat · 21/06/2018 07:03

He also has autism, doesn’t he, op?

NotTakenUsername · 21/06/2018 07:04

he can’t pretend it’s what he wanted if it isn’t.

There’s an ocean between gently explaining that after showing gratitude for the thought and effort... and what this boy did.

I would return the items. I would also attend a budgeting course. You don’t buy Xbox instead of food, ever.