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AIBU?

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Original poster

MIL's wedding outfit

172 replies

shallichangemyname · 15/05/2018 13:28

Posting on behalf of a friend who is unsure how to deal with this.
Friend is getting married this summer and is wearing a traditional white floor length wedding dress with veil. Wedding is very small with 19 guests, all immediate family. MIL has just sent her a picture of a floor length white dress which she intends to wear. How does friend respond?
Two choices - get STBDH to deal with it, or reply "haha, I thought you were serious!"

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 15/05/2018 13:30

Ask her if she thinks it's a double wedding. Making a joke of it will maybe make MIL realise how ridiculous she is being. Perhaps she is joking? 🤞

AmazingPostVoices · 15/05/2018 13:31

I’d get DH to explain to his Mum
that at least 17 of the guests are going to think terribly badly of her if she wears that dress.

Foslady · 15/05/2018 13:32

Ask if she’s planning to play spot the bride

Foslady · 15/05/2018 13:32

Or just the word ‘snap’

gryffen · 15/05/2018 13:34

Tell her the dress is inappropriate for her at a wedding- it's the brides day not hers.

JenBarber · 15/05/2018 13:36

She lets her wear it and allows her to look like a dick.

Let every other guest and person who sees the photos tell her how inappropriate she was.

iklboo · 15/05/2018 13:41

Tell her it's not a Moonie wedding

LupinsNotBluebells · 15/05/2018 13:46

Definitely one for the groom to handle but make sure the bride spells out to him how no-one upstages the bride on her wedding day, so no-one wears white "bridal" dresses to a wedding. He needs to ask if she kept the receipt and to get an assurance that the dress won't be making an appearance.

mavismcruet · 15/05/2018 13:48

Why have you sent me a picture of a wedding dress? I’ve already bought mine, didn’t you know? It’s very similar to this one though so I think you will like it Smile

Pippa12 · 15/05/2018 13:50

Tbh I'd just let her wear it. I doubt any of her 17 guests will be confused as to who the bride is. They'll probably have a little chuckle but it wont be at the brides expense.

ParentInCharge · 15/05/2018 13:55

@Pippa12 I kind of agree but I'd also hate that the biggest talking point of my wedding would be the MIL trying to upstage the bride.

"Oh do you recall the wedding we went to where the groom's mum was in a wedding dress?! OMG! Cringe!"

OP, the STBDH needs to deal with this. Some people are just completely ignorant to the wedding attire faux pas of wearing white.

MrsMozart · 15/05/2018 13:55

Does she have an issue with the wedding?

TheHonGalahadThreepwood · 15/05/2018 13:56

I'd just get fiancé to remark mildly to his mother that traditionally white isn't worn to weddings except by the bride (or bridesmaids), and that a floor-length dress does make it rather too similar to a wedding dress so suggest she might like to choose something else.

But if my MIL still really wanted to wear it, I wouldn't be terribly fussed. No-one's going to mistake her for the bride, after all.

SomeKnobend · 15/05/2018 13:58

Text back "lovely dress for something but not for the wedding. You don't wear a white dress to a wedding unless you're the bride".

pumpkinpie01 · 15/05/2018 14:05

Let her wear what she wants, everyone will know who she is no one will think she is the bride.Im getting married soon and I have found it really odd that 3 people have told me what they are planning on wearing and asked for my permission to wear it, turns out their dresses are lacy and they thought they should check first, strange I thought.

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/05/2018 14:05

Is her stbdh outspoken with his mother or a mummy’s boy? If your friend feels that strongly about it, will he accept that she must wear a more suitable dress?

ShowMeTheElf · 15/05/2018 14:06

Suggest to her that her dress is lovely but to prevent her looking completely batshit should you ask all the guests to wear a wedding dress too so she will be in good company?

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/05/2018 14:06

My first thought was, if she wears that, she won’t be allowed in any of the wedding photos.

LooseyInTheSky · 15/05/2018 14:07

I'd text back... "Bit similar to mine, isn't it?"

TheClitterati · 15/05/2018 14:09

"um the dress code isn't White Wedding Dress you know" Grin

QuizzlyBear · 15/05/2018 14:09

Why not just say 'I don't mind what you wear as long as you feel good, but you might not be aware that there's some stigma attached to wearing white to a wedding if you're not the bride - I wouldn't want people to be talking about you'. Then leave the ball in her court.

HouseworkIsASin10 · 15/05/2018 14:12

Tell her she'll be laughed at, and there's no way I'd have her in the wedding pics.

A family member at one wedding wore an ivory dress (knee length) but very beady(?). Basically, when you looked at the wedding photo's she was the first person you spotted. It was so obvious and still talked about 10 years later.

HouseworkIsASin10 · 15/05/2018 14:12

Oh and this guest was very much 'upstage the bride', it was no accident.

Sittinonthefloor · 15/05/2018 14:17

Assume it's a joke and act accordingly "lol, don't joke though - my friend's aunt did actually wear white to her wedding, it was so embarrassing, no one knew what to say!"

RidingWindhorses · 15/05/2018 14:19

It's her fiancé's mum - he's the one who should deal with it.

He should just tell her it's really inappropriate and she will embarrass herself and him.

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