Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Original poster

MIL's wedding outfit

172 replies

shallichangemyname · 15/05/2018 13:28

Posting on behalf of a friend who is unsure how to deal with this.
Friend is getting married this summer and is wearing a traditional white floor length wedding dress with veil. Wedding is very small with 19 guests, all immediate family. MIL has just sent her a picture of a floor length white dress which she intends to wear. How does friend respond?
Two choices - get STBDH to deal with it, or reply "haha, I thought you were serious!"

OP posts:

Original poster

shallichangemyname · 16/05/2018 18:42

She's a lovely woman and I just think she made an error of judgement. She's looking at other dresses/colours now and has said she wants to wear long to hide her legs. For once the DP has handled it perfectly.

OP posts:

londonrach · 16/05/2018 18:44

Please please let her wear it. She look soooo stupid and silly to all her family and friends and you enjoy this for years to come. Or save her from this and tell her the bride wears the wedding dress not the mother of the groom.

silvercollie · 16/05/2018 18:57

I have already posted on previous thread about someone I know who did exactly what this MIL is planning. Mys sister pitched up at her eldest son's wedding clad in a white satin suit. I was not invited to the wedding so I did not have first hand experience of the effect this had.

The photographs swallowed the bride as she disappeared from view. MIL (my sister) held the floor! Ghastly dress anyway, no matter what colour it had been. OTT I believe is the phrase.

In my view M'sIL are the least important of the bridal party and maybe should dress accordingly. Background material, so to speak.

Original poster

shallichangemyname · 16/05/2018 18:59

We have a friend who wore white to her brothers wedding and people still talk about it so I think letting her do it is the least preferred option. I didn't see it myself but it must have been a bit "bridal" because I think that generally you can get away with an un-bridey white outfit ifswim (eg accessorised with other colours)

OP posts:

Booboostwo · 16/05/2018 19:12

Glad it all got sorted. My mum wore a long, fluffy, white Armani dress (super OTT) to my wedding and just looked ridiculous. To this day people who see the photos of the crowd from a distance think she was the bride. Some people can't help showing themselves up.

LeighaJ · 16/05/2018 19:15

I'd go with the joke approach and if she says she's serious have her son deal with her.

LeighaJ · 16/05/2018 19:15

Oh nvm looks like it's all worked out.

Froglette16 · 16/05/2018 19:16

One guest wore a white dress to our wedding. I was mightily pissed off and she wasn't even family! You just don't do it.

AlfredDaButtler · 16/05/2018 19:25

DH and I had an equally small wedding and MIL wore a white dress (with floral print over part of it), and a member of the waiting staff at the restaurant congratulated DH and MIL on their marriage . Best wedding present I could have asked for

caringcarer · 16/05/2018 19:27

Very weird. I'd let fiancee have a little chat to his Mum.

Padstowonthames · 16/05/2018 19:28

Some cruel people on here. Why so desperate to make sure that her MIL to be learns a lesson by being made to feel stupid on such an important day? Far better and kinder to sort out in advance as has been done.

Hugsythespacecowboy · 16/05/2018 19:38

Depends how much she likes her MIL. I don't like mine so I'd let her wear it

DontCallMeCharlotte · 16/05/2018 19:40

My friends And I have a theory that if your husband has a sister then MIL isn’t too bad, but if it’s only sons she has they can be odd lol.

I can disprove that theory (or be the exception that proves the rule) as my DH is one of three boys and my MIL is a bloody legend

marjorie25 · 16/05/2018 19:45

People need to get over themselves. If someone wants to wear white, it is the end of the world.
For crying out loud, all this first world problems.
Enjoy your wedding, hope everything goes well and it does not rain and forget about something as trivial as this.
People need to start putting real problems into perspective. This is a non-issue.
Stop being god dammed bridezilla and grow up.
You will have far more serious problems to deal with after the marriage.

crumble82 · 16/05/2018 19:55

My very slim, very pretty relation wore a white minidress to my winter wedding. She’d just got back from holiday and had a tan and looked generally lovely but I was soooo annoyed she wore white. If she hadn’t looked so good it probably wouldn’t have annoyed me so much (probably makes me very shallow) but I just felt like she was trying to upstage me. The men loved her but my female friends were all on my side. 10 years on it still irritates me DH still teases me about it!

Kazarooney · 16/05/2018 19:57

My ex-Mil wore head to toe black at my wedding she later told me she’d never liked me I think the clue was there

ImMissHannigan · 16/05/2018 20:04

My ex MIL said she was wearing white to our wedding. I politely said it wasn't the done thing and my EXH told her she should find something appropriate. She wore all black and treated the day like a funeral!

Petitino · 16/05/2018 20:38

Some of my DHs very close relatives turned up to our summer wedding at a farm looking like they were off to a funeral.

3 of them all dressed head to toe in gloomy black & black lace with super pale makeup. They look really very strange in the photos.

Several people actually whispered to us "who invited the bloody Adams family?!"

The weird thing is that they're in no way gothic / emo / alternative. And we get on extremely well with them - 2 of them came with me to help choose my bridal dress and cried happily that they'd been the first ones to see me in it.

It was so weird. I really had to stop myself from saying "what the fuck are you 3 wearing... you know its a fucking wedding, don't you?!"

user1484424013 · 16/05/2018 20:53

Tell your friends to grow some balls. Tissue is a sign of things to come in mean what about when hey have kids and she wants to be in the room......hell.no deal with it now. If you friend is old enough to get married then she sure it's shit old enough to deal with this... tell the mil no way. Turn up in that white bridall dress and be turned away. This is not about the dress it's about the rest of your life.... good lukx

whatamistake · 16/05/2018 20:53

My mil had a floor length white gown (think black tie - very glitzy and bridal looking). She is one who likes to be centre of attention so was going to wear it to our wedding! Dh said white wasn’t appropriate....so she wore bright red instead 🙄

MadMaryBoddington · 16/05/2018 21:15

This thread has reminded me that twenty years ago I wore cream to a friend’s wedding. It was actually a vintage satin and lace slip - yes basically underwear. I wore it with a dark pink jacket but still... what was I thinking?

Bride didn’t bat an eyelid fortunately, and we’re still friends to this day.

MrsKoala · 16/05/2018 21:25

What's wrong with bright red? I agree white is odd, but bright colours suit me (so does white unfortunately) and i always wear them. I wouldn't wear white or black, but i suspect i'll be wearing something bright to my kids weddings (if they get married and they invite me of course).

One of my friends Mums wore a powder blue knee length dress to her own wedding in the 70s. Her friend (who was a tall gorgeous model) turned up in floor length white broderie anglais. My friends Mum sadly died very young. My friend has a wedding photo up and everyone looks at it and says 'Wow your Mum was so beautiful' clearly looking at broderie anglais lady and my friend has to say 'no that's my mum' pointing to her Mum in blue. The person then mumbles 'er oh yeah, she's lovely too'

OlennasWimple · 16/05/2018 21:50

MrsKoala - bright red tends to draw the eye in photos, so some people think it's inappropriate to wear to a wedding. I love bright colours too, though, and I'd rather loads of people in red, orange and purple than in black and navy

Original poster

shallichangemyname · 16/05/2018 22:25

I think no bright colours takes it a bit far.... my own MIL wore bright green to my wedding. My DM was and I was thinking chill out, it's a lovely outfit!

OP posts:

Allthewaves · 16/05/2018 22:28

My mum wore an amazing red trouser suit with cream hat - would she consider something like that instead of long skirt?

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Swipe left for the next trending thread